Following Footsteps or Blazing a Trail?

What is it about comparing yourself to others that is so counterproductive, if not self-destructive? 

First of all, envy focuses our energy entirely on someone else rather than ourselves.  While we have no control over what enviable career path a particular person has taken, we do have control over what choices we make for ourselves.  And, generally speaking, do we really know what led them down their so-called enviable path?  Or what sacrifices they made to get there?  Maybe they sacrificed nothing valuable to them, but to you the compromises would have to be very significant.

Secondly, is it realistic to think that you will take the same exact path of someone else and excel in the same exact way?  Everyone has his or her own cocktail of aptitudes, preferences, experiences, upbringing, education, and financial circumstances so why would you follow in someone's exact footsteps?  It’s extremely draining and futile to match someone else’s tracks.  And, most importantly, it’s NOT YOU!

One of my favorite quotes that has seen me through some pretty self-doubting (and envy-ridden) times is by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Do not go where the path may lead.  Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

 
There are many ways to get what you really want, but when you limit yourself to the paths others have taken, you are least likely to find personal fulfillment or your “sweet spot” as career experts like to say.  Someone else’s path of becoming a revered, published Harvard professor may have been an appropriate and even satisfying endeavor, but is it yours? 

We all tend to salivate over someone else’s degrees or talent or fame or salary, but I have found that I lose my ability to creatively invent my own niche when I am preoccupied envying someone else.  That preoccupation is actually fear that I’ll never be as good as that other person and therefore not be as successful. 

But this train of thought misses the point of career success entirely.  In most fields, the simple economic rule of supply and demand prevails.  We must meet a need that is not being met in some way.  Attempting to follow someone else's exact path does not fill an unmet need- that person is already supplying the need that is in demand.  Your job is to supply a need that no one has yet supplied and that only you, in your unique way, can offer.  And that, as Emerson said, is "leaving a trail."

The Not-So-Comfie Zone

Great career design is built on determining innate talents, abilities and preferences.  We want to help you find out what specifically puts you "in the zone."  Why? Because if you want to successfully perform tasks and step in certain roles on a daily basis, there must be an element of ease and comfort that makes doing them sustainable.

On the other hand, from time to time it pays to attempt a feat that is completely outside your comfort zone.  Sometimes generosity to clients or co-workers requires that you relinquish tightly held control by temporarily abandoning your normal way of doing things. And often times acquiring new business or moving forward to the next level of career development entails acting in a way that is completely unknown. In fact, sometimes the only way to accomplish something is by channeling a part of you that lies dormant and dusty. 

For example, are you more of a thinker than a doer?  Fantastic.  Be proud of and revel in that fact.  Even though conventional wisdom says we all need to just be doers, it doesn't take into account those people that should think more than do and aren't quick to pull the trigger.  Think of professors or research scientists:  we as a society absolutely need the these kinds of thinkers!  But even with that preference to analyze indefinitely, there must come a time when the thinkers determine closure and act.  And that action most certainly entails dusting off those old track shoes, jumping out of a comfort zone and into a new arena. 

(Tip: Feeling unsure?  You may not want to try out this crazy idea on your own.  You could ask a doer to help you navigate this unknown territory of "Just Do It" country.  They know it like the back of their hand.)
 
It's one thing to make yourself do things you dislike or aren't good at on a daily basis.  We call that phenomenon, which happens all too often, a career mismatch.  But when it comes to growing and making things happen for yourself and your life's path, pushing your personal preference meter past its typical range can reap huge benefits.

Give it a try today and see what happens.  But beware, you may feel quite empowered!

G.R.O.W. Get Results the Organic Way

The term "organic" is certainly today's food buzz word, and rightly so.  But instead of thinking of the term merely in reference to your favorite yogurt, try thinking of it in career terms.  Organic growth specifically means that which is "characterized by continuous or natural development."   Growing your career organically translates to following your internal, natural inclinations and instincts.

For example, instead of looking to the managerial hierarchy within a corporation or organization to define your personal career goals, think internally.  In other words, envision what you actually want to be doing in the future years.  If the traditional hierarchy fits your plan, great;  but most likely it won't. 

Why?

Let's say you are a salesperson and love what you do:  sell.  You do this most of the day and you really enjoy it most of the time.  However, while you may thrive as a salesperson, if you start going up that organizational ladder you may find yourself completely incompetent as a manager.  And that's okay!  These two positions most likely involve many different functions and abilities.  Maybe managing more than selling gets you farther from what makes you tick, what motivates you.

Maybe instead of climbing the managerial vine within an organization, you stay within your preferred and proven function, but leap off into another environment where you have more earning potential or flexibility or whatever you value as a personal goal to achieve.  Who knows, even if you do stay within your current environment, maybe you eventually create a position for yourself that uses your proven abilities and talents to a greater degree.   Or (gulp!) have the courage to ask for that raise you are entitled to for doing what you do so well, instead of for the chance to move up to a greater salaried, managerial position.

Developing yourself on your own terms may seem slow, and less known ('cause who does THAT?)   Moreover, it may not be as immediately rewarding salary wise as say, moving in the most visible, linear way and moving to the next organizationally logical rung within your company.  But being honest with yourself and knowing what you do best is real.  It's sustainable.  It has long term possibilities for personal mobility and growth.  And, depending on the way you roll, it may be the only way you will remain happy, fulfilled and personally successful.

So try creating a more organic, locally grown approach to your career goals and see what happens.  And who knows, maybe you'll even find yourself eating better too... rifling through the farmer's market more than the Hostess aisle of the supermarket.

But let's not get crazy now!

Leaping before you look... at every little detail.

When I work with clients, I help them not only look before they leap into a new job, I request they look very closely at themselves.  I require them to ask very detailed, pointed questions of themselves.  And it's certainly not easy... at least it shouldn't be.  In my opinion, if it's too easy, the questions apparently aren't the right ones!

This is because productive self discovery takes a lot of energy and digging, not to mention guts.  After all, you are unearthing something quite raw, yet genuine:  your true self.  It takes time and patience to keep asking yourself, "what exactly am I REALLY good at?"  "What do I do so naturally that I could wake up from a deep sleep at 2 am and do it?" and, most importantly, "What do I need to specifically do every day to be fulfilled?  To fulfill the needs of others?"

But after the self discovery phase and the goal planning is over, it's all about the leaping. About trying some new things, experimenting, asking tough questions of other people and then of yourself.  Maybe even being more invasive (albeit diplomatically) with others than you are accustomed to or are comfortable with.

Leaping, and, in turn, growing, is all about knowing how much you don't know and going for it anyway.  Knowing that the details are anywhere from being ironed out, but that they don't matter as much as taking a step in that direction.  Especially when it's UNKNOWN.

And, boy, is that hard!  Plunging into the fiery waters of the unknown is very, very difficult for most of us.  In fact, most of us aren't even aware of how much we use the unknown as an excuse for not trying something new; for not leaving our comfort zone called the status quo.  Even those of us who are so-called risk takers have definite moments of not wanting to rock our own world of risk-taking.  Staying put or committing to something rather than moving ahead can be unknown for risk-takers, so even they are not in any way exempt from being afraid and stifled by the unknown.

I just read this wonderfully written book, The Help, by Kathryn Stockett.  Although you'd probably list it under the subject of Civil Rights, I would list it under the heading, "Growing."  It's a wonderful book about taking chances on yourself doing something you believe in, even, and especially, if you haven't any idea how it's going to turn out.

In that vein, I came across a quote the other day from the first president of the new Czech Republic, back in 1993.  He poignantly said,

"Work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance of success." 

I now keep that quote taped to my laptop, so I can look at it every time I go through my own personal litany of self-doubts.

I suppose it's that leap of faith, whether you're religious or not.  I tell my clients that if they are spiritual people, they are going to need every ounce of faith they have that what they are changing in their lives is worth it.  No matter what.  If this change is what they need to do, then they are going to have to rely on some faith that things will eventually fall into place.   And knowing ahead of time how those things will fall into place is usually just not part of the deal.