Create Yourself: Shane Coyczan

Good to know there are still people out there who dare to do something fresh and authentic.

Enjoy!
-Katie

p.s. Please be advised before clicking on video link below of the mild, brief profanity

Remember

Our Days, Our Choices

"At the end of the day, it’s our choices, and the energy and passion with which we follow up on them, that make our lives successful."

-Peter Buffett 

composer,

musician, philanthropist and  

author of Life is What You Make It

Who's On Your Dream Team?

As an entrepreneur and manager of a one-woman shop, it's easy for me to feel isolated. This could prove especially debilitating for my business since I get the bulk of my energy from talking to other people. As you can imagine, working in a vacuum has its limitations.

Fortunately, I have many great friends, colleagues and general go-to people to keep me thriving. After all, a healthy support system is key to surviving any business or job. And I recognize that my greatest successes come when I connect with the motliest of crews: people from a variety of fields and perspectives.  In fact, the more diverse the personalities and thinkers, the better the collaboration. Katya Andresen, President and COO/Incoming CEO of ePals, has compiled the ideal confluence of minds and personality styles needed for great problem solving and implementation.

Who needs to be on your Dream Team?

A Fun "To Do" This Week

Rediscover the curiosity of your childhood by asking yourself:

What do I need to learn because it's just too interesting to resist?
What in nature fascinates me?
What behavior just makes me want to stare?
What do I want to touch? Feel? Experience?

Who do I want to play (interact) with the most?
Who or what makes me laugh?

Where do I feel safest?
Where do my ideas come from?

How can I experiment?
How can I make something beautiful? Useful? Funny? Scary? Colorful?



And most importantly, don't be afraid to keep asking yourself and others,

 "Why?"

Words to Live By: Mary Oliver

I simply do not distinguish between work and play.

-Mary Oliver 

Dark, Damp, Dreary Days Be Gone!

This past week has been a wet one here in Washington, DC.  For five days we've endured dark gray skies, downpours, drizzles and steady, relentless rain that's left us soaked to the bone. And now, finally, as I type these words, I'm doing what I've been aching to do for the past five days: to sit down with a nice cup of tea, wrap myself in a blanket and enjoy the fact that I don't have to go anywhere.

  

Without the sun's bright rays to bathe the landscape in light, everything has not only looked darker, but felt darker too.

Can you hear me that when it rains and shines, 

It’s just a state of mind, 

Can you hear me, can you hear me?

                                                     
                                                          - The Beatles, "Rain"

Oh, those sunny days...

While rain or shine might not be a tiebreaker for some people, I know that my mind and body actually do function better when it's sunny outside. Any time clouds rule the skies day after day I typically don't have as much energy as I normally do.  I don't feel like exercising or doing much of anything, especially outside.  I wouldn't say that during a period such as this I'm necessarily depressed (at least in a clinical sense, as  major depressive episodes are much more severe and debilitating, and can be chronic.) However, rain and clouds do temporarily dampen my spirit and negatively impact my mood and energy.

And, as you know, feeling lethargic stinks. (Except when you're on vacation, of course.)

So when the sun hides itself behind thick, dark clouds, particularly for days on end, I know it's time to actively elevate my mood by other means than sunlight.  Through research and good ole trial and error, I have uncovered numerous ways to up the endorphins and potentially increase serotonin levels. I have discovered what activities can give my mind the little boost it needs to kickstart it into gear.  And the more I learn about new, effective methods, the more I can combat the blues from all different angles.

Here are My top energy and mood boosters:

Gear up and
get outside!no matter what the weather (natural light is natural light, after all)

read a good book,

talk to an encouraging someone,

PAINT (anything),

journal,

take pictures of your favorite things

make something for somebody (yourself included),

I made this fun brooch

and decorated a mirror. 'Cause why not?!

Watch guinea pigs play,

bake COOKIES for someone,

(Or make your dog bake them for you.)

Cook and Eat a Nourishing 
Breakfast, 

Chef John Macpherson

Look at pictures of baby goats,

(It does it for me every time.)

DOODLE on your front door step,

doodled by Sophie McGale

indulge in a fun magazine,

Did I mention, "Watch guinea pigs?"

look at pictures that make you smile,

buy flowers- or cut them from your garden- and arrange them in a vase,

s-t-r-e-t-c-h,

meditate,
listen to fun music,
dance, 

MOVE! run, hike, walk, lift weights

Go through pictures from great trips

complete a simple task like a load of laundry or a sink full of dishes,  

('cause hey, you're in a bad mood anyway 
and getting it done will make you feel as if you've accomplished something)

or perhaps... just chew on something 
that makes a funny squeaky sound.

Fortunately, one of the benefits of being a career coach is that I am constantly discovering and accumulating effective mental health tools for my clients, since a healthy mind serves as both an essential building block and a happy result of creating one's ideal career path. 

from Useful Guy (creative commons)

Having a handy toolbox full of mental health boosters empowers us to manage our mood before it manages us. We can't always control what the next day at work might entail, who or what might puncture our enthusiasm, whether or not Company Z will love us in our next interview, or if the sun will choose to hide or shine. We can, however, remember what tools pick us up mentally, even if by just a little. Sometimes that little boost is all we need to get moving again.

*********
Need some more ideas?  I often refer people to the works of Dr. David Burns, a pioneer in cognitive behavioral therapy who created powerful steps to take when feeling depressed. In particular, his book, Feeling Good, written over 40 years ago, is still incredibly relevant today.

Most importantly, if you are feeling consistently down, depressed, anxious and/or sad, don't try to go it alone!!  (You know how I feel about tackling big issues with the whole Do It Yourself Method- it stinks!) Talk to a mental health specialist, particularly a provider who comes recommended by others. And don't hesitate to ask for help and support from friends and family as well. You owe it to yourself to have lots of really good days to look forward to.

Test Drive Your Career

Flickr

I'm always advising my clients to test drive their potential new career before jumping in with both feet.  In this Forbes article, Liz Elfman does a nice job of articulating how to do just that.
Enjoy!

-Katie

"Ways to Test Drive a New Career"

Words to Live By: Bill Watterson

"You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure."

-Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes

Kenyon College Commencement

May 20, 1990

Making a Difference in the World: Mulala Yousafzai

Like many girls at age 16, I worried about boys, my grades and what I wore. I badly wanted to make the cheerleading team, and fretted over where I would go to college in two years. I cried when I didn't make the lead in the school play and secretly craved being part of the "in" crowd.

In short, life felt rather grim at the time.

This young lady, Mulala Yousafzai, age 16, is fighting for the education rights of young women and for peace in her homeland of Pakistan. She miraculously survived an assassination attempt by the Taliban for her vocal and very public opposition.

Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Watch her interview with Jon Stewart here.

Wrong Career?

Wikimedia

Love this post from Betsy Mikel!

http://blog.brazencareerist.com/2013/08/07/what-to-do-when-you-realize-you-chose-the-wrong-career/

Peter Buffett On Success

A New Definition

"In my view, success should be defined with reference to the substance of a person’s achievement. What is someone actually accomplishing? Is she helping others? Is he living up to his own unique potential? Is there passion and originality in her approach to life and work? Is there fundamental value in what he’s trying to achieve?

I believe that true success comes from within. It is a function of who we are and what we do. It emerges from the mysterious chemistry of our abilities and passion and hard work and commitment. True success is something we earn privately and whose value we determine for ourselves. The outside world can reward us with money, but it cannot anoint us with this deeper and more personal kind of success. The success we define for ourselves is the treasure that cannot be tarnished or taken away."

-Peter Buffett 

composer,

musician, philanthropist and  

author of Life is What You Make It

For Mr. Buffett's full article click here.

Designing Gardens and Ditching Grievances

Not our yard, yet.

My husband and I recently hired a landscape architect to help us with our front yard, as landscaping is definitely outside (excuse the pun) our realm of expertise. We decided that, by hiring an expert, we'd end up saving money in the end because we'd avoid making a string of expensive errors in our planting efforts. As I've mentioned before, I've come to realize that small, DIY mishaps add up to much more than the relatively meager fee of hiring an experienced designer in the beginning.

Unfortunately, not our piece of cake

So, since we'd worked with an interior designer several years ago, I assumed this exterior design process would be a piece of cake for my husband and I to tackle. After all, most decisions regarding home design had been left to me, as my better half never really had an opinion about anything decorative- save for the color of his office walls.

In other words, I'd been blessed with carte blanche and all was dandy.

Until now.

The Mister, it turns out, does indeed want to have a say about what the yard looks like. (I know! A man, wanting to be in charge of his lawn?  Who knew?)

I first smelled trouble brewing when I began showing him landscape design photos. Suddenly all of these opinions began to surface, like:

"No, no, no, no... All of these houses have flagstone! I don't like flagstone. You have to live in a mansion to make that work."

and

"I can't stand topiaries. They look like Poodles."

Hmmm.... This was going to be a bit harder than I'd thought.

???

A Democratic Union, I Presume

As you are aware, I'm always touting the importance of appreciating multiple perspectives in my blog and work, so I'd hate to be hypocritical and dismiss my beloved's paving preferences. Therefore, in true democratic form, I scoured the internet and photographed neighbors' yards for inspirational designs that suited both of our tastes.

Unfortunately, the morning the landscape architect was scheduled to come for our initial consultation my husband and I remained at a standstill, and neither of us were budging. (In case you haven't noticed, there's a lot of that going on around here in Washington, D.C..)

The bottom line was this: although I did like the look of topiaries, I could certainly live without them; however, I really did like flagstone, and I felt as if someone- I won't name names- could at least entertain that possibility and give in a little too. And when that didn't happen, I began throwing out my own opinions, like:

"WHO doesn't like flagstone?  It's flat! It's gray! It's a stone! What's not to like?!"

So here we were, at odds about rocks.

Unfortunately, Not our walkway-yet.

Cue the designer, breezing up our front walkway. As soon as I saw her I came flying out the front door, open laptop in hand, all in a dither. Confusing exasperation with excitement, she exclaimed, "Well! I see you are ready to go!" And that's when I breathed out, unleashing a torrent of grumblings about how my other half was hellbent against flagstone.

Cue my husband, who tromped out too, expecting, like me, that our expert landscaper would settle the matter right then and there.

Much to our surprise, our skillful designer did nothing of the sort. Instead she simply responded, "Well, we really don't need to worry about the materials we are going to use until we get the design in place. Whether to use flagstone is really a question that we're a long way away from asking."

Oh... right.

Well, that put an end to that. (Maybe she should go to Capitol Hill and work her magic there too.)

First Things First

Of all people, I really should have known better. How many times had I delivered the same kind of message to my eager and sometimes panic-stricken career clients about designing what you need to have in a career, and then thinking about the how. (Will I need grad school? To change cities? OMG!!)  Yet, here I was, making a flagrant design error myself: I was putting the cart before the horse, trying to implement what we hadn't even yet designed!

But this incident reminded me of what we all do, which is this: we concern ourselves first with what's most visible (read: public), difficult and fraught with emotion, without first taking inventory of all of those necessary but less visible considerations.  Like worrying about flagstone walkways instead of crucial details such growing zones, space constraints, hours of sunlight, and soil content. In certain cases even budget talks (how's that for emotionally charged?) can take a backseat until that first design draft is complete. Then the line item choices can be decided.

When it comes to the career decision process, most of us focus on those things which are most tangible and visible, such as perfecting our resumes and aiming for hefty salaries and fancy job titles. But this is actually backward, because we first have to take into consideration the less visible, but foundational parts of career choice, such as abilities, interests, priorities and The Big One: what duties the career mainly entails.  Otherwise, we make poor and costly decisions by using inadequate information.

Exceptional design begins by gathering data, answering the who, what, where, when and why of the problem at hand.  Then comes the solution building, which incorporates all of the vital pieces of information now at hand.

Parameters? Check.
Specs? Check.
Priorities? Triple check.

Then it's time to determine how you are going to implement this great new design.

Hungry yet?

Your Big Decisions? Piece of Cake!

So, when you find yourself worrying about a big decision, ask yourself this:

Are you putting the cart before the horse?  Are you essentially worrying about something too far down the road, such as how you are going to ice the cake without knowing what kind of cake you want to make in the first place?

Or, in our case, are you arguing about flagstone when it may not be relevant in the end anyway? If so, take a step back. Determine, objectively, if you have the information you need. Most importantly, get the help of a good designer. Because chances are, a great design will also provide you with the how.

Channeling Leonardo

"The Babe in the Womb"

I read the book, How to Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day, by Michael Gelb, over 12 years ago while in graduate school for theatre.  I still find it fascinating, however, especially in its application to the career development world.

Christina Desmarais revisits Signore Da Vinci in the following article, and gives us insight into his creative genius- and how we can drum up some of our own.
Enjoy!

-Katie

http://www.inc.com/christina-desmarais/7-things-leonardo-da-vinci-can-teach-you-about-creativity.html?cid=sf01002