Create Yourself

If you look just above this sentence, you'll see my banner head, GROW, with the smaller script below it reading, "Create Yourself."

When I came up with this tag line many years ago, I didn't think twice about it. I felt it was a perfectly reasonable, catchy little phrase that aptly described my career philosophy: I believe in creating your own career path using your amazing and unique combination of talents vs. trying to squeeze into a one-size-fits-all career mold.

(Think Chief Software Developer at Creative Design Solutions, Inc. vs. The Butcher, The Baker, or The Illustrious Candlestick Maker.)

But as I've spoken with people regarding this "create yourself" concept over the years, I've met a lot of raised eyebrows. As in, "What the $^%# are you asking me to do?!" I quickly learned that the idea was not as intuitive and accessible as I'd expected it to be.

And yet, this concept of creating oneself isn't some new-fangled buzz phrase in modern career thought. Rather, it's inspired from a source that is as far from new-fangled as you can get:

George Bernard Shaw. 

Born 1856. Dublin, Ireland.

I'd always been fascinated by Shaw's expansive and dynamic career journey in which he played multiple roles during his lifetime of 94 years. These included: playwright, essayist, novelist, orator, politician, social activist, music and literary critic and co-founder of the London School of Economics. He also won a Nobel Prize in Literature and an Academy Award for the screen adaptation of one of his plays.

Not too shabby!

And so, as you can imagine, it was with great delight that I stumbled upon this gem of a quote from Shaw:

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

As shown by the life he led and the career choices he made, Mr. Shaw obviously didn't wait for a career to jump out at him. Instead, he engaged his talents and particular fascinations in a way that would carve out his own unique and wildly successful career journey.

But somehow, across the Atlantic and over a century later, most of us are still conditioned from childhood to believe that, if we want to succeed, we have to follow a narrow, much trodden career path. If it's been done, we think we stay safe by going the same, well-lit route. (Never mind that well-lit routes are more fleeting than ever!) We are too scared at the daunting prospect of the unknown, of the initial confusion that must exist in order to create our own way that we back away from creating ourselves.

Leveraging our unique strengths? We can't risk that!

But how about the risk of losing our sense of self when we constantly focus on everyone else's career trajectories? For example, we slave over getting perfect grades in brand name high schools in order to gain entry into brand name universities and then even cooler companies. But what then? What happens when we discover that the prize was nothing even close to what we really were looking for? What happens when we personally and professionally flounder because we're now so far removed from what we're really good at?

I suppose that's why, whenever I see someone who dares to create his or her own path in life I take notice. These people always seem to be some of the most fulfilled people I meet. They know their strengths and use them to create solutions for others. They don't focus so much on finding the path they are supposed to take; rather, they actively create a layered, rich life that allows them to engage their multiple talents and fascinations in many different ways. They openly recognize, appreciate and leverage their unique combination of abilities and interests in ways that only they can. They stick with what they value and, if what they value is useful to others, people come to recognize and even pay handsomely for that value.

And so, despite the occasional raised eyebrows and skepticism, I'm going to stick with my "create yourself" battle cry. It's what I value, how I approach my life and, most of all, it's a philosophy that's proven effective time and again with clients. However, unlike Mr. Shaw, I'm not so patient when it comes to ideas catching on.  In fact, I'm not-so-secretly hoping for the idea of "create yourself" to go all viral on me. You know, like a social meme or something like that.

Drumming fingers on desk

Aaaaany day now....

Fame, Fortune and Dreaming Big

By the time I hit the ripe old age of 16, my ambitions had taken on a life of their own.  Every dream career I concocted was infinitely possible and grandly desirable, especially when the career field was fraught with stiff competition and low success rates among those who chose to pursue it. 

Queen of the Long Shots was I. 

"I'm gonna live forever..."

Defying 
Gravity

And what was to stop me from dreaming big? I had the larger-than-life 80's hairdo going on, why not have the dreams to go with it?

As I got older, however, the lack of specificity in all those dreams became increasingly apparent. My 16 year-young, chock-full-o'-hairspray self had somehow failed to address the specifics of how and even why I wanted to live out those dreams. (There must be some study out there linking heavy hairspray use to poor long-term planning, but I haven't come across it yet.)

Once in a while I ponder that journey from 16 to my, uh, age now, and consider how those youthful, nebulous dreams didn't really fade, but rather evolved into a higher level of sophistication. For example, I recall that in my early days money and fame were always an integral part of my dreams of success. Of course, I never outwardly admitted that belief because I considered myself a good, conscientious person, and a good, conscientious person shouldn't care about things like that, right? But I'll admit today that those less-than-noble ambitions were infinitely present, always lurking in the back of my mind like gauntlets I'd thrown down to hold myself accountable.

Now that I'm able to look back and reflect- and hindsight is 20/20, of course- it's easy for me to see how money and fame were the most accessible ambitions to shoot for, especially since I didn't have any specific goals up my sleeve at the time.

Ah, Mr. Robin Leach.
I hope that vest didn't cost you
 a fortune.

Of course, the constant reminders in society extolling the importance of celebrity and wealth made them easy targets. 'Twas the 80's, and everyone (that I was paying attention to, anyway) seemed to value fortune-building over character-building.

But ultimately I recognized that my career ambitions came down to my own choosing. I could listen to how society-at-large defined success. And I could choose to set standards so high that I could never live up to those ever-elusive dreams.

Madonna: before 
her blonde ambition
took over

On the other hand, I could choose to make my dreams clearer and more thoughtful and personal. I could choose to dig deeper and uncover what truly motivated me, beyond material rewards and far-reaching recognition. I could broaden my concept of success while also breaking down goals into easier-to-attain steps.

Once I was able to look beyond these familiar trappings I discovered how much richer dreams can be when they come from an authentic place, born out everything I believe in and need to do. Like expressing my talent for the love of it, making a positive impact in people's lives, and striving for solid financial health versus enormous wealth.

My notion of fame thankfully has evolved as well, maturing from an insatiable appetite for widespread recognition to a yearning for broader social impact. I find that I'm now driven by a need to mobilize my expertise and knowledge to tackle career conventions that are in desperate need of repair. But I'm also equally invigorated when I've helped one person create a successful new game plan for their life or enabled them to use their talents in a brand new way. These individual partnerships have rewarded me in ways I'd never imagined.

But then again, are we ever able to accurately imagine what will drive us in the future? Maybe not. Or maybe, just maybe, if we can come to terms with who we are, what we believe in, and what we're good at, we might catch a glimpse at what our future holds.

New Rules for Career Success

Rule #1: Figure out where you are headed!
Via Flickr

Dan Schawbel, Geny Y author of the newly released book, Promote Yourself: The New Rules for Career Success, offers some sound advice about how to advance your career in today's environment.

Frequent LinkedIn contributor, Dave Kerpen, asked Mr. Schawbel to distill his concepts to into six key "actionable ways to grow" a career, which I'm sharing with you below.

I especially like his first point, which is to "become an entrepreneur at work"; however, I'm offering a prequel to Schawbel's key points:

Figure out what career path is right for you, 

because if you don't do that, 

how will you know what kind of career to grow in the first place?

Makes sense, no?

Read his rules here.

Create Your Spark: Elizabeth Gilbert

Ms. Gilbert tells us to: 

1. Keep showing up and 

2. Give our genius a talking to.

Enjoy! (And watch the whole thing- it's worth it!)

-Katie

Elizabeth Gilbert on Sustaining Creativity

Multi-talented You (Yes, You!!!)

Despite what many believe, we all have multiple talents that are just sitting there waiting for us to use them- personally and professionally. We can also play several important roles at any given time in our life while using many different talents in varying degrees.  

As you're well aware, countless studies show that we thrive better when we allow ourselves to live in a multi-dimensional way, dividing our time between family, friends, hobbies, side interests AND professional fulfillment.  After all, we are anything but one dimensional human beings, so why live as if we are? Besides, success in one area often motivates us to thrive in another.

"But I Don't Have Any Talents (much less multiple ones)!!!!"

I've heard many people say to me, when they hear about my work in natural talents and abilities, "Oh, I don't have any natural talents." Or "my brother got all the talent in our family." And how many times have you heard people say, "I don't have real talent, I just work hard."

Latest Winners, Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough

But the truth is that we all have talents. They may not be as obvious to us as say, throwing a fastball like Stephen Strasburg, or possessing moves worthy of Dancing With the Stars,

but they are there; when we know how they all fit together, they are powerful!  

Imagine if we were all to throw away our preconceived notions about our lack of talent and learn instead about the ones we possess. We could not only thrive but make the world a better place by confidently expressing those multiple talents.

Want some of my celebrity examples? Below are features about two fantastic athletes with some pretty obvious talents: baseball player, Jayson Werth of the Washington Nationals (Go Nats!!!) and LA Lakers basketball player, Steve Nash. But more than just shine light on their evident abilities, these articles highlight the talents we don't see on the ball field or basketball court. 

But, IMHO, those hidden, less obvious talents are the best ones! Talents like selling, persuading, motivating, facilitating, promoting, researching, managing, nurturing, protecting, trouble shooting, tweaking, and creating are ones that you can discover in yourself and develop to their fullest potential. And who knows where these abilities could lead once you discover how they work in combination with one another.

After all, your unique cocktail of talents may not grace the cover of Esquire Magazine like those of Leonardo DiCaprio, but who says you can't be a superstar in your own way? 

Via Flickr

CLICK HERE for Jayson Werth's story

Via Flickr

CLICK HERE for Steve Nash's story

p.s. I am always on the hunt for fascinating people who make use of their multiple talents, personally and professionally. Know of anyone? (Maybe it's you!)  If so, please share! Leave a comment.

Thanks,

Katie

Create Yourself: Will Gray

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” 

― George Bernard Shaw

Last year, when my friend, Rebecca, recommended I go with her to a screening of Will Gray's documentary, "Broke," I thought little of it.  But Rebecca always has good recommendations when it comes to musical events, so I figured I might as well check it out. (After all, she was the catalyst behind my Enriquez Iglesias experience.) And this documentary was about breaking into the music industry, so I suspected that I'd probably enjoy it.

But "enjoy it" was an understatement. The experience blew me away.

The film screening was held in an intimate setting, a row house in Washington, DC. Upon entering, Will welcomed all of us in what I now know to be his typical warm, affectionate way. I was even a little taken aback by his humility and graciousness, being that he'd made a film, was a phenomenal singer and a gifted song writer.

And let's just say he was quite easy on the eyes.

(Shoot, was that out loud?)

Anyway, what really blew me away was Will's voice.  And I'm not just talking about his speaking voice or singing voice, which was, I have to say, amazing. (He and his fellow performer, Reva Williams, treated us to a few stunning performances following the film screening.) I'm referring instead to what Will had to say.  He had managed to find his Voice with a capital "V," that inner awareness that so few people seem to achieve in their lifetime.  He knew what he wanted: to perform, to create, to tell a story; and he new what he wanted to say: that the music industry was changing in some not-so-beneficial ways and how it that affects the artform of performing and songwriting.

The fact that Will had made his music career- by age 30- something profoundly personal and unique was truly inspirational.  What's more, Will had made his life his own in a world of imitators and skeptics, a world I'd become somewhat familiar with from my time in professional acting. Like a breath of fresh air he was genuine and kind. He hadn't succumbed to all of the phoniness of the music business, from the rejections, from the hardships of trying to express his art despite the throngs of people trying to break into showbiz mainly to be famous.  He hadn't been hardened by the fact that being the right look or sound can easily trump talent.

What I saw that night was someone who had chosen to transcend that often troublesome world by having faith: faith not only in God but in himself and others as well.  He appreciated the collaborative approach to music, writing and filmmaking. He spoke of the miraculous results stemming from working as a team and how he relished that collective creative process.

It became increasingly apparent as the evening progressed that Will was living in a truly multifaceted way, using his whole person. He had tapped not only into his songwriting ability and singing talent but also his entrepreneurial streak, his sharp intellect, his poetic gift for visual, oral and musical storytelling, and his penchant for finding meaning in life and sharing it with others. He demonstrated all of these extensions of himself in his beautiful music, his insightful documentary and the visual way in which he had presented the entire evening.

Listening to the story and songs of a musician who had gone for "broke" (thus the documentary's title) provided a visceral experience for all of us gathered there.  We shared an unexpected creative intimacy in a normally distant, reserved and sometimes unimaginative city. I suppose we Washingtonians just needed a bit of a renegade to shake things up!

So, from a person who has been fortunate enough to experience your talents, here is a belated thank you, Will.  Thank you for touching my life in such a wonderful way. You eloquently embody what it means to "create yourself."

Jeff Haden: What Does YOUR Success Look Like?

Inc. columnist, Jeff Haden, suggests we adopt a more individualized definition of success. This involves honestly assessing our happiness and recognizing that there are always personal and professional tradeoffs.

Oh, and there's a picture of a Golden Retriever.

What more could you ask for?

Enjoy,
Katie

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130314115932-20017018-the-best-definition-of-success-is-the-one-you-never-use?goback=%2Eptf_*1_*1_*1_*1_recentPosts_*1&trk=who_to_follow-b

49 1/2 Shades of Passion

Admit it.  You just keep coming back for the pictures.

coolpicturegallery.us

In my last post, I came to the defense of passion, since it seems to have taken a major beating in the media during the past few months.

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In this last post I also pointed out that people look at following passion from different vantage points.

Some individuals are drawn to passion when talking about their careers- or potential careers- while others find the word about as useful as standing around watching two monkeys hug one another.

(Note: I suppose some people might have a passion for watching monkeys hug one another, but that's a different blog post all together.)

It is with these dual perspectives in mind that I began looking at the various approaches to passion from our headline grabbing writers, Aspen Institute founder and biographer Walter Isaacson, Linked-In CEO Reid Hoffman and professor/author Cal Newport.  From their writings and public commentary we can see how they have painted the word "passion":

Walter Isaacson: Self-Centered Passion

petmd.com

In a recent article, Mr. Isaacson spoke with the Huffington Post about the Aspen Institute's new focus on encouraging youth to serve America after graduation.  He discusses the importance of doing something larger than yourself, which can be reached by doing some kind of service corps right out of college or high school. It might be a medical corps or teaching corps or the military- anything that serves other individuals.

It is in this context that he relates a conversation with Steve Jobs about following ones passion:

"We talked about the fact that it isn't just about your damn passion-- it's about doing something larger than yourself. It's about serving this world, helping others.  So if you have a whole generation of people [who've been told, 'Oh, just follow your passion,' they're going to forget that there's some purpose in life."

mathrubhumi.com

The philosophy of looking at something greater than yourself is spot on and is a very integral part of the career design method that I use with my clients. However, the above statement presumes that discovering yourself and following your interests and abilities is mutually exclusive of helping others or being practical.

I contend it can be both. Many people view the word and their passion not only as an expression of themselves but also as an expression of what they can offer to others. In fact, most of my clients come to me asking the quintessential question, "How can I best help others using my passions and talents?"

By first asking this powerful question, clients are better able to reach the goal that Isaacson says we need to reach: meeting the needs of others.

Reid Hoffman: Passion Poppycock

passionate about this poppycock
dominic coulter

Hoffman seems to view following one's passion as a lofty, end-gaining, unrealistic career vision that will quickly become obsolete with our ever-fluctuating times. He alternately uses the more objective, dispassionate phrase, "flexibly consistent framework" to describe how we need to pursue careers.

While his point about fluidity certainly makes sense, I believe Hoffman's advice is best taken by first asking yourself, "What interests and abilities (and even passions!) are going to help me build a solid foundation upon which to build my framework?" Far from the vague and lofty question Hoffman rails against, this type of question is razor sharp.

Answering this potent question gives you self-confidence and a solid knowledge base from which you can adapt and thrive in ever-shifting work environments. It allows you to manage setbacks more efficiently and determine how you can best help in your profession. Moreover, you are then able to adjust your career goals as your passions, interests and needs change. 

Cal Newport: Plain Ole Vanilla Passion Doesn't Cut It

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In the same vein, Mr. Newport seems to suggest that conventional wisdom's version of "passion" equates to a pre-conceived fantasy, lacking authenticity until cultivated for several years.  He instead uses objective terms such as "deliberate practice" and "unifying mission" to tell us how to get to valuable, satisfying work, or "Passion 2.0."

Newport's method definitely has merit; however, it works best when a person first takes the time to ask themselves, "What do I need to deliberately practice, cultivate and care about in order to develop a unifying mission?" Even Newport himself, on his blog, Study Hacks, reveals in his bio that he has a need to "decode" (great verb, by the way!) overly simplistic conventions for success such as "follow your passion." Rather, he says he "dive[s] deeper, looking to decode underlying patterns of success, in all their nuanced glory."

"To nuzzle" is a good verb, don't you think?
coolpicturegallery.us

(That has to be one of my favorite bio's, by the way.)

We all have pre-existing passions, fascinations and/or proclivities, no matter what you want to call them. Everyone has something-a function, let's call it- that they feel a relentless need to do, like "decode" or "guide" or "illustrate." These are functions that energize us and often make us lose track of time. 

Of course, the way in which we express these needs will change over time.  We may lose interest in a subject area or we may find that we evolve out of performing our once-loved function into a more nuanced version.  Likewise, we may move into other roles that have lain dormant for a good while.

However, the essence of who we are, what we're naturally good at and therefore drawn to doesn't change. Good career guidance translates the need to do x or y or z into a sustainable career. It also provides the language and insight to help people articulate what they need to have in a career and why, before they determine how to get there. It gets you in the right field before you embark on the journey.

Which leads me to the conclusion of my series on passion:

Get in Your Game: Passion-filled or Otherwise


No matter how you view "passion", all of these methods work best once you figure out your foundation and what careers are in your playing field.

And when I hear my clients talk about wanting to follow their passion, I'm really hearing them say that they have a yearning that needs to be met, even though they can't quite articulate what that need or urge is yet.  

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Through career coaching, individuals eventually discover that this "passion" is actually something they are driven to do because of their natural talents and interests, so that's when they have to ask themselves the razor sharp, function-oriented questions that I detailed above.

The answers are complex and will evolve mostly with the trial and error knowledge that comes with going out and experiencing the world.  But that experience will be most efficient and useful if, once again, you have a solid sense of yourself and your general field of ability and potential expertise.

So honor your passion, if that's what you want to call it, discover your talents, find your playing field, and then...

PLAY BALL!

My Defense of Passion: Keep the Baby! (And Throw Out the Bathwater)

A Very Cute Baby, If I Do Say

The backlash against the simple mantra, "follow your passion" raises some very important concerns, as I detailed in my last post.  Cal Newport, Walter Isaacson and Reid Hoffman all point out that the phrase is not only idealistic and over-simplified, but also misleading in it's expectations of young people embarking on new careers.

However, I'd hate to think that, due to the onslaught of equally simplistic headlines to the tune of "Don't Follow Your Passion!" we would throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak, and forget the passion piece entirely.

(Because how can you throw out that sweet little angel baby above?  The cheeks alone are priceless!)

The media has certainly been trying to do just that, jumping into the "don't follow your passion" fray with typical gusto. The Huffington Post, for example, in a recent article titled, "Warren Buffet's Predictable Career Advice: Follow Your Passion," criticized the billionaire mogul when he told Forbes Magazine,

"I always tell college students to take the job that you would take if you were independently wealthy. You're going to do well at it."

Hmmm.... call me crazy, but that seems like sound career advice to me! And why not follow the wisdom of an 82 year old man who is one of the best investors and philanthropists in the world? Especially since he also speaks from experience, as someone who pursued his passion for finance from an early age.

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With all of this bad press, someone needs to come to passion's defense, don't you think?  And I suppose I'm the perfect person for the job, since I've been on both sides of the "follow your passion" fence.

I spent many years confused and frustrated because I couldn't figure out what passion to focus on in order to make a contribution.  That was very real to me, that hole I felt in my life. My identity and self-worth withered away while I struggled to find a direction to pursue. Had I read Newport's book during that period of time I would've hurled it out the window in frustration, yelling, "How can I use the 'craftsmen approach' when I know WHAT CRAFT to hone?!!"

Which is one of the many reasons why I contend that finding one's career passion- or passions, as the case may be- is one of those values that deserves preserving.

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Throw Out the Idealism, Keep the Introspection

These days, in today's shaky economic climate, the notion of allowing yourself some introspective time to discover your interests and then plan a corresponding course of action is a tough sell.

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(Trust me, I know. I have to sell it every day.)

Many in the older generations- especially parents who were looking forward to empty nests versus ones filled with little birdies coming back to roost (indefinitely)- tend to applaud the "forget about your passion" slogans.  They may, understandably, find it an answer to the current unemployment rate- currently nearing 12%- of the Millennial Generation.

In other words, "Forget about your what your so-called "calling" is and just get a #*@#$ job!"

However, if young people don't take any time to determine what motivates and fascinates them, they are going to end up like so many of my clients in their late 20's, 30's, 40's and 50's, who seek my help because they skipped on the introspection entirely and determined their careers by looking at the so-called "practical" elements: good money, industry outlook (think of any "Fastest Growing Careers!" article,) and perceived stability.

Trying to be practical, these individuals (yours truly included) ignored their passions and interests entirely, went for the quickest and "surest" bet they could find, and in turn found themselves unhappy or maybe even unemployed several months or years or even decades later. This is because they were unable to compete with colleagues who were a better fit for- and more interested in- their work.

What's more, after six months, or five years, or even 25 years (and perhaps thousands of dollars in student loans) the only thing they figured out was what doesn't suit them, rather than what does.

How practical is that?

I'm feeling quite passionate about this pie, actually.

I'll Take a Slice of Passion with a Side of Reality, Please...

So here are two main insights that I believe we can gain from this "Do-vs.-Don't-Follow-Your-Passion" career debate and still keep the passion portion in tact.

1. False Expectations are Bad Enough, but NO Expectations are Worse.

We need to prepare graduates for the fact that a career is not going to be fulfilling and chock full of passion right from the beginning.  Young career starters can't expect fulfillment to come without putting in ample time and hard work, as Newport shows us in his many examples.
He emphasizes the fairly common knowledge among seasoned professionals that the more effort we put into a career the more we will reap the rewards that come with those efforts.

But I believe there's an important distinction to be made between working hard at just any job versus one that's in our general field of interest and abilities. These elements give us the motivation day in and day out, and the competitive edge we need to succeed.

And that's one of the main problems we see in the workforce today: many people have no idea what to expect from themselves or their career, mainly because they have no idea what career field they should even be playing in. Will they really benefit from working hard to build what Newport calls "career capital" over the years if they're in the wrong field altogether?

In my experience, both personally and in working with clients, the answer is a resounding "no."

They will most likely gain nothing other than the presumed monetary rewards and increased responsibility, both of which will be short-lived if they don't excel at their job. Most importantly, even if those extrinsic rewards come about, that typically isn't enough to sustain them.

Bottom Line: Figure out your playing field, then get in the game, even it means you have to start by warming up the bench. Knowing you're in the right field motivates you to work hard, play hard and win.

2.  Houston: We Have a Word Problem

Photo credit: NASA

Another point Newport, Isaacson and Hoffman inadvertently bring up is a semantics problem that no one seems to include in the public discourse, and that is: we all view "passion" in a different way.

(Remember, we're talking about careers here, My Friend, so let's not allow our imaginations to get crazy!)

For some people, a passion drives them to make a difference in the world.  It's intense, and visceral, meaningful and, ultimately, personal. Most of my clients, for instance, use the term in describing their motivation to work hard, as do I.

(Heck, they may even throw around romantic terms such as "purpose" and "calling" in there too! Talk about craaaazzy!)

But some people don't relate to the word in the least.  It's way too touchy feely and dramatic for them and doesn't aptly describe how they see their work- no matter how much they enjoy it.

Take my sister, for example.  She is an advocate, gifted author and blogger for lupus awareness as well as an inventor of products that help people with chronic illnesses.  She motivates hundreds of people every day to keep going despite Lupus and their many other setbacks. (Can you tell I'm a proud sister?!)

But she never EVER uses the word "passion" to describe what she does for a living. That term is just not part of her vocabulary, being more of the Thinking than the Feeling Type.

While my sister is a fairly open-minded individual and can respect the passion other people feel  for their work, other individuals are a bit more, well, perplexed by the whole prospect. These are the people who tend to hear "follow your passion" and equate it with pure, unadulterated idealism.

"I love you, even though you're an ... well, you know."

Tell them that you're toying with the idea of following your passion and they'll assume you're going to:

1. Quit your job
2. Join an artist's commune in Oregon and
3. Prolifically engage in smoking a substance that, until November, was illegal in all 50 States.

(Oh, and clothing is probably optional at this freewheeling commune of yours.)

So, given these different perspectives, how do our headline-grabbing authors view passion?

Stay tuned until next time, when I shall reveal all in my concluding post, "49 1/2 Shades of Passion."

(I know, who writes these headlines??!)

"Mommy, Why Can't Girls Be President?"

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This question came from my seven year-old daughter's mouth, just the other day.

And then came my response, "Oh they can, Sweetie.  But, ummmmm....  Hmmm.  Let me think about that."

There are a million things I could have told her, but where does one even begin?

Since she was born, I had naively hoped that she would never question whether girls were as smart or capable as boys, or whether women could be just as effective leaders as men.  We're so much farther along than when I was her age, after all.  But, silly me, I had forgotten that numbers speak for themselves:

Male Presidents of the United States: 44
Female Presidents of the United States: zippo

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So why wouldn't she start asking questions like that?

Now, to make matters worse, here are the numbers for female corporate leadership representation  (note, she's not been privy to these stats yet):

Percentage of women in the U.S. labor force: 46.3%
Percentage of female Fortune 500 corporate officers: 15.4%
Percentage of female Fortune 500 CEO's: 2.4%

Sheesh.

(Click here to read the rest: http://www.womenonbusiness.com/new-us-women-in-business-statistics-released-by-catalyst/)

But back to the conversation at hand.  I managed to continue my response with:  "Women can most certainly be President.  There are female presidents in other countries for example.  However, here in the United States we've not had very many women run for President.  And to be President you have to be elected."

I decided not to throw out heavy hitters such as "sexism, patriarchal society, domesticity, women's suffrage, and historical ramifications of misogyny."  I thought that might be a bit much for a second grader.

But I dread the next question I'm going to get once she hears that the 19th Amendment wasn't added to the Constitution until 1920, which is:  "Why weren't women even allowed to vote, mommy?"

My answer will probably be something short and sweet like, "because the men running the show were ignorant- or afraid of-women's capabilities, honey." This barely scratches the surface, of course.

******************

As a career coach, I help individuals pursue a personally challenging and healthy path to professional fulfillment.  And although I absolutely encourage clients to pursue whatever career they design,  I wouldn't quite call running for President of United States the healthiest of all pursuits, especially for women.  Though male presidential candidates are under an unprecedented amount of personal scrutiny, women face sexism above and beyond the frenzied media probing.  For this reason alone, I am hardly surprised women are not coming out in droves wanting to run for Congress, much less for the Presidency.  I personally would rather have a root canal on each of my teeth than put up with the ummm... let's call them "shenanigans"... that go along with political campaigns.

Yet we all know the irony:  if more women who, generally speaking, have an innate ability to bring people together and decrease friction, don't enter the political arena, we'll stay put in our divisive American politics with a paucity of female presence.  Furthermore, once we gain gender diversity, problem solving will evolve to a much more sophisticated level than it remains today.

But in the meantime, I'm doing my little part with my daughter.  I show her how I share my talents by helping people thrive in their careers and lives.  I help her appreciate her joys in life and what makes for good brain candy.  I'm careful not to put down any career as "unworthy" or, at the other end, completely unattainable; she's only seven, for Pete's sake!  Even pro basketball is fair game in my opinion (and I can honestly say this only because she's is in the 5th percentile in height and has shown NO interest.)

As for the mother/daughter discussion of no female presidents, I borrowed a clever little book, Grace for President, from the local library.  It's a small step, but at least it's a step, in my own home.  And I'm not embarrassed to say that I cried a little bit when we read the book together.

Here's to the next generation of women:  may you have the choice to do whatever it is you are meant to do.

http://www.amazon.com/Grace-President-Kelly-DiPucchio/dp/B001Q3M5RQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318971658&sr=8-1

Why Talent is Rarely Overrated

The "talent is overrated" notion has been touted in best-selling books over the past few years.  And, like any trend, its wave is cresting... and perhaps soon to be crashing?

I shan't make any predictions, however, because I'm the last person on Earth to forecast trends.  I never seem to understand how trends come and go, much less what the masses will go for next.  Whenever I look at an issue of Vogue I'm always convinced that the designers have huge disasters on their hands.

Take Exhibit A:

StyleBistro

I personally find the above "shoes" quite unattractive, not to mention borderline masochistic, but what do I know?  I'm apparently not privy to the appeal of an Alexander McQueen piece d'art ... or the Kardashians, if you'll recall.

But I do know quite a bit about talent, and overlooking this bit of info is the exact opposite of what I'm always harping on.  In my mind, it's quite obvious that talent is largely underrated in our society. Trendy or not, talent first needs to be personally acknowledged and then honed and worked on for the 10,000 hours that true world class performers achieve.  So many people waste their time honing skills that will never amount to much because the natural talent isn't there.  If you're going to put in your 10K, shouldn't you do something you've got a real shot at achieving?

The plethora of high school and college graduates floundering, living at home until they "find themselves," is one big juicy clue.  Couple this with the fact that many of them were once extremely hardworking, ambitious students creates even more suspicion that they've been led in the "hard work comes first" direction. In other words,  these kids worked their butts off to get the best grades, the best SAT scores, and into the best colleges.  But with no inner-led direction and sense of natural abilities, then what?

flickr-Manu_H

Further down the road of young peoples' lives comes even more substantial evidence.  Just look at the large population of adults, 25+, who are unhappily employed, confused and overwhelmed.  Many are the other former academic aces who grabbed the first big jobs offered to them.  However, they discover after a few years that the great career that made their parents proud and friends envious, is nothing close to what they really wanted (whatever that may possibly be.)

Apparently, we need to be able to name our talents, our preferences and our abilities from a younger age than 40+.  (This is the typical age when people seek career help after years of frustration.) From high school onward, why not name these strengths and use them to guide students to success and satisfaction?  Then the hard work, obviously essential to success, can be purposeful, efficient and effective.

Now, granted, these aforementioned 'talent-is-overrated' books make some really good points.   However, in our fast paced age of sound bytes and information overload, everyone judges books solely by their covers, which means whatever points these authors make in all those pesky pages go largely unread and ignored. These catchy titles get reiterated and expanded on, which means articles pop up everywhere, touting the veracity of these very general notions.

In response,  I've decided to give my unsolicited, pretty darn unhip explanation for why titles such as Talent is Overrated and The Talent Code, to name just a few, are so appealing.   Here are the top three mentalities that make these book titles popular:

Mentality Number One 

"I can do anything I want to if I just work hard enough.  Talent is not just for a selected few."


Mentality Number Two

"My dream alone will sustain me to the end."

or, my personal favorite,

"If you can dream it you can do it!"

Where's my hanky?  Sounds like a bumper sticker in the making... or a best selling book title.


Mentality Number Three

"There are so many lazy people out there who fail because they try to get by on their talent alone.  Obviously hard work is more important." 


Okay.  At least the first sentence is true:  there are a slew of lazy people that try to get by on their innate gifts, especially when those gifts have been well revered since their youth. 


But remember, there are some people who actually have no relevant talent or general work ethic and yet still succeed.  I will not name names.

*********************

Unfortunately, this conventional wisdom circa 2011(soon-to-be-2012) is really the last thing we need to be focused on.  The idea that hard work makes talent nearly meaningless is oversimplification at its best.

To their detriment, very few people know the specific language of aptitudes and strengths, and are therefore unable to identify specific talent in themselves (what works, what doesn't and how to sell themselves in an interview.) Nor can they recognize necessary talent in others (as in, hire the person who has the relevant abilities, rather than just a requisite pedigree.)

And while it will mean less turmoil and pointless work in the long run, discovering what makes you tick is more daunting to people because it requires stopping and thinking rather than just plowing ahead and making no headway.  Ever heard the phrase, "don't know where I'm going, but I'm sure making good time!"?  That pretty much sums up this method.

Unfortunately for mass marketing purposes, self- knowledge is much more complex than a simplistic, catchy title. But who knows, maybe economic times will force the issue.  And a recent article in The New York Times gives me hope that someone is trying to dispel the myth that all work and no talent makes Jack a successful boy.

Until then, I've got a Grow-endorsed book title for America.  It's called,

Success: The Intersection of Talent, Hard Work, and Following Your Fascinations.

What's that you say?  It won't sell?

Okay.

Hmmm... How about this pithy little number?

Ability Schmability: Make Big Bucks Doing Whatever You Want

Excuse me now while I call my literary agent.  She'll be all over this one.

 Via Flickr

Be Your Own Genius

Much has already been written about the life and death of Steve Jobs, yet I can't help but continue to ruminate such a life and loss. I was quite saddened when I first heard about Mr. Jobs passing away, and I continue to feel his absence.  He offered so much inventiveness and hope for America in our time of need.  He strengthened my faith that excellent design and innovation allow companies (and individuals) to thrive and make the world a better place.

Although we have lost a great soul, and a genius of a soul at that, I am absolutely sure of something else that comforts me:  we all have "what it takes" to be a genius in our own right.  We each have the potential to innovate if we recognize and accept the talents we possess and dare to use those talents wisely. When we create ourselves by streamlining, harnessing, and giving power to our personal resources, we begin to solve problems no one else can solve, we invent fresh new paradigms for the future and challenge the tried and not-so-true.

Jobs' personal resources didn't include a college degree, family money or inherited connections to powerful people.  Rather, his resources were not that uncommon.  In fact, many of you reading this post possess quite a few of his attributes but don't even realize it!  That's because our society doesn't emphasize learning and appreciating what truly makes us tick; therefore, unless we work with someone who knows about aptitudes and talents, we never learn how to know ourselves in the most effective, mobilizing way.

So what made Steve Jobs, Steve Jobs?  As with all human beings, the possible explanations are infinite.  However, most notable was his irrepressible fascination with design and technology, and fusing them to form the ultimate user experience.  Furthermore, he collaborated with other extremely gifted designers, innovators and scientists to create nothing short of magic.

What did Jobs bring to the collaborative table? He possessed qualities such as persuasiveness, enthusias hyper focus, calculated risk-taking, passionate vision, determination, and singular commitment.   And, of course, there was the more highly publicized traits such as forceful initiative, gumption and nerve.  Fortunately, as he grew older, these traits developed into beautifully nuanced versions of their original forms.

But other, less visible abilities were vital to his outstanding achievements:  highly fluid thinking, a specialization preference, editorial prowess, team building, maestro tendencies,  divergent and convergent thinking capabilities, gut hunches, keen awareness of flaws, inventiveness, visualizing possibilities, creating unheard of scenarios, and careful discernment of ideas and designs.

Just to name a few.

But here's the good news:  we all have our own combination of abilities that need to be recognized and put to use.  So find out what combinations make you tick.  And thrive. And create.

Just remember, however, that mobilizing your personal, unique resources doesn't come without a price.  Jobs showed us, on many occasions throughout his lifetime, that being openly distinct in thought and action can create friction.  It can piss people off.  It makes people uncomfortable and usually makes them think we're nuts.  In fact, some members of the media have said throughout Jobs' life that he had a "madness" when it came to feeling strongly about the intersection of design and technology.  Of course, some of it was, understandably, a reaction to his unique emotional intensity and focus, but much of it was apprehension to Jobs' visions of the future.

As we've seen with Apple, this friction, this passion for new possibilities, breaks down walls and allows new ideas and products and services to evolve.  Some products flop, some ideas are rejected, and others are home runs.  Being willing to look kind of foolish, dreamy, and eccentric to others may indeed make magic happen in the long run. Unfortunately for those of us with a bit less gumption than say, Steve Jobs, going against the grain may be the hardest journey we'll ever take.  But it could also be one of the best.

So I say, we must take our backbones to task! We must plunge into knowing, finding, and then being ourselves.  Instead of envying and copying others, we need to dig up our own inner resources.  The world needs our authenticity, not our need to superficially please others (family, friends, colleagues) for the sake of status or validation.  We must embrace our own way of thinking, strengths, weaknesses, fascinations and needs.  Otherwise there is no vision for personal, technological, economic, artistic, or intellectual evolution, only mediocrity.

Those indifferent to their own strengths race like rats to pursue already-laid paths, many of them on a sole mission to fulfill someone else's expectations.  Others strive solely to make a lot of money, gain power and achieve "success" in the most unimaginative terms.

Talk about a waste of personal resources!

But then there are others, like Mr. Jobs, who let his fascinations and his unstoppable drive for innovation overcome his own doubts and fears.

Now here's to you and your own genius within.  Recognize it. Appreciate it. And use it wisely.

A Tribute Fit For A King

Here's to the man who said, "Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

Wired Magazine's Steven Levy Says It Best

We Have a Guest!

Pink Sherbet Flikr

I'm excited to say that we have a guest writer here at Grow a Career!  Her name is Laura Herren.  She is in her early twenties and has a fresh and insightful perspective on a topic we all grapple with:  striving for excellence for its own sake, rather than measuring success by credentials.  I couldn't be any more thrilled to have her as a guest writer.  And, if I'm lucky, maybe she'll be back.

Enjoy!
-Katie

"Journey to Excellence"

Whatever excellence may mean to you, the world will ultimately measure your worth in credentials.  Those experiences that you have had that were not adorned with grades, certificates, awards, or any other honors will go largely unnoted.  It is unfortunate that this is so.  Unfortunate because the recognition itself can act as motivation, because it muddles the true significance of the work, and because there are many ways to excel for which awards do not exist.  For all of these reasons, you must forget whatever honors may be waiting for you at your goal’s end, and remember why your work is important to you.  At the end of the day, what means more to you: the trophy or the knowledge you have gained?
    An individual may choose to journey down a path because they are attracted to the prestigious recognition that lies at the end of that path.  In this way, the work becomes a means to an end, detracting from the value and enjoyment one can find in the work itself.  One may ask, What does it matter if people buy into these honors if the end result is the same?  To this question, I reply with a quote from Richard Feynman, one of the most brilliant physicists of the 20th century.  In 1981, he was interviewed in a BBC special entitled The Pleasure of Finding Things Out.  About his Nobel Prize, he replies:

I don't see that it makes any point that someone in the Swedish Academy decides that this work is noble enough to receive a prize. I've already got the prize. The prize is the pleasure of finding the thing out, the kick in the discovery, the observation that other people use it - those are the real things, the honors are unreal to me.

    By creating a system of honors, we have defined exactly what merits recognition and what does not.  Our confidence in this system is arrogant and it becomes evident when we assume that those endeavors that receive no honors are less worthy than those that do.  A single mother may, against all obstacles, raise her children with the education, opportunities, attention, and guidance that would normally be provided by two parents.  She will not receive an award or even an A+, but only the knowledge that she has cared for her children to the best of her ability.  I have received a good number of awards and recognition over the past four years, but I am certain that I have never worked as hard as someone with the job of two parents, nor have I ever provided the world with something as consequential as another human life.
    What drives me to do my best work?  There is the desire to please my parents, which often means bringing home good grades or awards, but also being aware of what I’m doing: would I let them down if they knew this?  I would like to say that what drives my research is the quest for knowledge, which I suppose it is in a broad sense, but the gratification is really much more instant than that.  To design an experiment is a titillating process: I must use everything that I understand about nature and consider especially what I do not.  When the results come, a euphoric high follows when my hypothesis is confirmed, while a bittersweet amazement follows each time nature foils my plans and shows me how it’s really done.  Finally, my most constant drive is the ticking in the back of my mind that reminds me of the limited time I have in this body with this consciousness.  It reminds me to relish each moment of the journey, because if all that matters is the awards that I have accumulated, then I have wasted an awful lot of time.
    The sum of your achievements is not what defines you.  What a misleading word “achievement” is!  To think that one has ever truly mastered or completed one’s undertaking is foolish.  There will always be more questions to explore, and this is the beauty of pursuing excellence: you are never really done. Excellence is not the pat on the back that you receive at certain points along your journey - it is the journey.

How I Got My Self-Esteem Out of the Gutter

High School for me was anything but a walk in the park.  I looked and acted like a perfectly jovial person, but inside my self-worth was virtually non-existent.

For starters, I had a long term relationship with a guy that was a whiz kid.  In my eyes, he was absolutely brilliant.  Why?  Because he could immediately master mathematical equations and scientific concepts faster than I ever could. My brain simply wouldn't work that way.

Via Flickr

And yes, objectively speaking- not just in my girlfriend's-rose-colored opinion- he really was intelligent, especially by society's standards.  My high school years predated the recognition of emotional, social and artistic abilities as legitimate forms of intelligence;  therefore, when I was a teenager, most people measured intellectual ability in terms of scientific and mathematical prowess. I was one of those biased people.

Next to my boyfriend, I considered myself a complete moron intellectually. The fact that I could nimbly analyze literature and poetry, win foreign language awards, make A's in every subject (but that blasted Algebra II), sing the hell out of a difficult song, and deftly perform Shakespearean monologues didn't seem to register more than a one-out-of-ten on my self-esteem-o-meter.  These subjects and talents were "easy" things that I didn't believe counted on the intelligence front.

As for The Boyfriend?  We broke up.  He ended up going to Stanford and then, I am told, on to UCLA for his Ph.D. in Science (couldn't tell you in what field specifically.) I am sure he is out there somewhere continuing to live in his super smartdom.

And then there was the sports arena.  While I averaged B's in Algebra II, I was a D+ student (at best) in athletics.  This, of course, didn't win me any favors in sports-lovin' Indiana.  But in my mind I had to at least try to be great at everything lest I feel inadequate.  That meant, in addition to my academic and artistic pursuits, lettering in sports.   

olympushighemlyhoffman.wikispaces.com

Knowing my limited hand-eye coordination,  I went out for Track and Cheerleading, thinking I could at least do those sports.  Unfortunately, as far as Track was concerned, it soon became apparent I had no business running competitively. On one level I ignored that discovery and pushed myself anyway.

Now, you may be thinking, isn't the act of pushing yourself beneficial, even you aren't good at something?  Of course it is.  Problem was, I chastised myself whenever I didn't do well, which was pretty much all the time.  Now, looking back, I think, "Of course you didn't do well!  You are not naturally fast, your legs are short, and, genetically speaking, there is nothing that would make you a good runner!"  But logical thinking requires a healthy dose of self-esteem, so I was pretty much S.O.L. there.

And the cheerleading?  Well, let's just say I didn't quite master the whole teamwork idea.  I vaguely remember there was a point where I was doing my infamous chipmunk impressions at the request of the cheering section.

Via Flickr, but those were our school colors!

Now, seriously, what was I thinking?  Besides acting like a chipmunk in public, a rather absurd notion in itself, wasn't I there to cheer on the football team?  Couldn't I just do the routines like the rest of the cheerleading squad?  But noooooo, there I went, drumming my own little drum, not grasping the notion that not only was I a different drummer, but also that cheerleading wasn't really a good different drummer type of activity.

So how did my phoenix rise out of the self-esteem ashes?  The answer is, simply:  it took time, hard work and a bit of luck.

In my twenties my self-worth did improve with effort, but something always seemed to set me back.  First of all, trying to make it in the tumultuous world of the theatre didn't quite help matters.  So up until age thirty, I'd say, the self-esteem-o-meter hovered precariously around a four.  But then, once I hit 30, things started to improve.  My maturation level enabled me to naturally become more comfortable in my own skin.  Even so I really didn't understand how intelligent, gifted and remarkable I was as a human being until I reached age 34.

That was the year I had my daughter, my first child, and I realized pretty quickly that I needed to have a substantial amount of emotional strength to devote to parenting.  I knew I didn't have the time or energy to deal with low self-esteem and the havoc it wrought on my life.  And besides, life is too short not to have your you-know-what together.

Just by luck, I stumbled upon a seminar taught by a local career coach.  When I listened to his presentation I knew immediately I'd come to the right place.  I ended up signing on with that career coach who then introduced me to the idea of preferences and abilities, unlike any other individual or academic institution ever had.  For the first time in my life I had a non-emotional, objective way of looking at my mind, my talents, and my preferences.  I could finally look at my strengths and weaknesses in a non-judgmental way.  I also began to recognize the intelligence and gifts in all people, not just those labeled as "smart" or "talented" or successful" in our society.


Of course, there were still some major cognitive-behavioral issues that I had to conquer.  Take negative self-talk for one.  It's like a pit-bull that grabs a hold of you and refuses to let go.  (I should know, I used to have one, God Rest Her Soul.)  And to this day I must continually be mindful of shutting down negative thoughts and letting my mistakes and weaknesses go.

Furthermore, there are lots of questions I still have to ask myself and boundaries I have to test.  But I'm exponentially better at sorting and answering these questions and boundaries than I used to be.  I am also much better at:

1) Living with uncertainty
2) Creating opportunities for myself
3) Tailoring my commitments to my strengths and weaknesses
4) Sharing my talents with confidence
5) Making things happen for myself instead of waiting for fate to tell me what all's in store for the future.

And as far as my self-esteem-o-meter?  It's registering at a 9.5, which means that while there's always room for improvement, I can live well.  I'm no longer a slave to happenstance and mood.  And honestly, certain circumstances still set my confidence back momentarily to maybe a six, but never to a zero anymore.

What else can I ask for?  I worked hard to be where I am, and so can you.  Consider getting the help you need instead of trying to do it on your own.  The investment of time and money will be well worth it.