Faith

In the spirit of the holiday season, I thought I'd take a break from the career talk to mention a little something about faith.

I have never been what one would call "religious."  I have always felt, however, a pull toward the spiritual.  I tend to believe in miracles, serendipity, things happening for a reason, and knowing when you've found "your calling."  I also believe that it takes a certain amount of faith to make changes in your life. 

I don't know how else to explain why someone would take a chance on following a dream, make a long term commitment with a significant other, have children, try out a new path, or invest in themselves or their prospective business.  These acts require a person to have faith in themselves, their relationship, their talent, their abilities to cope with whatever problems arise.   Believing without seeing is what faith is all about, which is not an easy task, as many people will admit.

I remember a time when I had a really tough, life-changing decision to make, one that I'd been putting off making for way too long.  I'd procrastinated because I knew the repercussions would be personally devastating no matter the decision.  There was definitely a responsible, ethical choice , but I couldn't bring myself to make it because I knew it would be emotionally painful.  Finally, in a moment of desperation, I tearfully explained my turmoil to a friend who wisely told me, "Katie, sometimes you just have to make the adult, mature decision you know is right and live with that decision." 

"Live with that decision."

Those words magically resonated with me and I felt a huge sense of relief.  The fact was, I did have substantial evidence as to the right decision, but the fear of not being able to emotionally deal with the consequences of that decision had crippled me.  But for some reason, those words triggered an ounce of faith that I could live with that decision, no matter what happened.  This faith in my coping abilities enabled me go with the right choice.

Now, admittedly, it was extremely hard, but I had mustered up the faith in myself to live with my decision.  I braved through the after-math with a newly acquired confidence and strength. Making life decisions and commitments require nothing less than blind faith, knowing that even if the change involves a certain degree of failure, you can live with those failures, knowing that the decision is the right one.

So here's my holiday wish for you:  believe in your abilities, your ideas, your passions, your inclinations.  Have faith that you can make changes in your life that benefit you and those you care about.  Allow your faith to grow each day of the upcoming year and see what happens.  While you don't know for sure what the future will bring, you can at least know that you are choosing your actions based on self-confidence and faith, as opposed to choosing inaction based solely on fear.

So What the Heck is a Career Anyway? Part II: A Word by Any Other Name... Might Actually Sound Better

The term, "career" can mean just about anything these days, and to say the term comes loaded with baggage is an understatement.  That is why, when I tell people I'm a career coach, I get reactions as varied as:

"Oh, really?!  I (or my son, daughter, mother, aunt, uncle, friend, cat...) definitely need to talk to you!"

to

"Oh."  (As in, "Oh.  Did you pick that one out of a hat or something?")

to

“Ohhhh.” (As in Ohhhh... you’re one of THOSE people who are going to tell me to do what I LOOOVE and sing kumbaya and make no money and be happy about it. This is typically accompanied by a subtle roll of the eyes.)

I have searched high and low for various definitions, derivations, musings, and general nonsense about careers, and this is what I've uncovered:  the word "career," solely from a dictionary's point of view, centers around three words:  permanency, longevity, and commitment.

Sounds kind of daunting, huh?  No wonder adults, young and old alike, feel intimidated by choosing a career.

When I work with clients, I don't even bring up terms such as the above.  Instead, we simply uncover what they enjoy doing and determine what they are exceptionally good at.  Does commitment follow?  Absolutely.  Does this result in permanency and longevity?

Hmmm...

I'd prefer to use the term, "growth."

Growing entails learning, evolving, making mistakes, re-adjusting, mastering, and, ultimately, succeeding. However, this evolution needs some scaffolding to make the process efficient. I therefore help clients find the one brilliant spine or cohesive glue, if you will, that binds their cognitive abilities, skills, preferences, and passions together.  Once that spine is in place, their professional lives can naturally unfold and flourish. 

Successful careers are living expressions of our brain and body.  They may shift as our needs and lives change, but their essence remains.  This essence must be discovered, cultivated and put to use in order to meet the needs of others as well as our own needs.  They may take the form of one straight and narrow path or a combination of paths that we creatively weave together to satisfy our different interests and skills.  And though different types of people are obviously drawn to different kinds of paths, ideally all of these paths bring our talents and interests to life in the form of a career.

All that said, I won't throw out the dictionaries entirely.  I've decided that as far as a dictionary definition is concerned, I'm going to pay homage to the origin of the term "career", which stems from the Middle French "carrière," meaning "course" or  "passage."  Moreover, "carrière" continues to be the French word for career.  (Most likely because the New French found no need to change what the Old French had started.  And hey, it sounds pretty.) 

I personally find "course" and "passage" appealing for a number of reasons:

1) they allow for a broader understanding of the word "career"
2) they just sound a little less daunting, and I'm all about taking the daunting out of life in general
3) they mesh well with the idea of growing and moving forward, all within a given path

So perhaps I should try calling myself a "carrière coach", making sure to amp up the rolling r's in the middle.

That'll put an end to the bad "Oh's."  And begin the new phase of people just looking at me kind of funny.

So What the Heck is a Career Anyway? Part I: An Enigma for Most People

As I compiled all of the career poll responses, both online and off, my inner monologue went something like this:

"Seriously, Katie.  Why do you punish yourself this way?
Gathering data (yay!!) must lead to sorting data (awww, do I haveta?)
And what do we say about sorting data?
'Avoid like plague!!'
So why on earth did you decide to open this can of worms?
How are you ever going to sort through all of these different responses?
Where does one even begin?"

(I just thought I'd be honest with you, if for no other reason than because I was raised Catholic and I'll feel guilty if I don't.)

Yes indeed, I did panic.  But then, 2 days, 2 minutes and 31 seconds later, I felt much better.  I just needed to let the overwhelming data overwhelm me for a while.  And then I realized how the variety in responses validates my theory of why the meaning of the word career is enigmatic for many people:  everyone has his or her own version. This also means that one post is not going to cut the mustard, as they say.  (That’s a bad saying, but I felt like using it anyway.)  Therefore there will be a sort of blog miniseries on the career definition.  Yes, my dear readers, you are getting your Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa present early this year.

First of all, I’d like to share with you some of the interesting analogies and definitions I received:

Leslie said she thinks of a career as a "book with many chapters."

For Pat, the term "connotes a chosen professional path, which is probably a way to earn a living, but is also a way to build self-esteem and identity. The word 'career' is stronger than 'job' but weaker than 'calling' or 'vocation'."

Katherine said, "On occasion, when you choose a career and have been practicing in that career for many years, things can turn on you."  This comment pops up in so many conversations I have with people who've been in the same career for some time.  They feel as if something has gradually shifted, wherein tasks, responsibilities, environment, and/or colleagues have changed and now their days look nothing like they did during the first few years.  Sometimes liking a career and seeing it morph into something you never bargained for is just as bad as not knowing what career to pursue in the first place.  However, these two predicaments need the same solution:  think more about what you want to do everyday, and less about the title you possess.  

Another person has come to view a career as more of a "journey" than a "destination".  I definitely plan to elaborate on this career philosophy in the future, which I consider a key ingredient to successful career development.  It's kind of like when you are going on a plane trip and try not to care about how the airlines are treating you like sand in their proverbial swim trunks, and instead you just enjoy your time devouring that book you've been wanting to read or that Snickers Bar you've been saving for just the right occasion.  Now is the perfect time to whip that puppy out since it'd cost you about ten bucks on your flight.

But I digress. On to the career poll.

I personally find all of the poll choices legitimate components of my definition of career.  For example, the first choice, "a job, plain and simple," as basic as it sounds, has merit in its own right.   At times clients may take on jobs not only to pay the bills, but so that they may also reach their meta goal of pursuing their desired long term career path.  (See Alice's comment about her writing career.)  Many artists and performers may find themselves in this position quite often, unless he or she develops an equally satisfying parallel career along the way.

On the other hand, some people are content filling their lives with various jobs (not necessarily draining jobs, but not abundantly satisfying either) that help support one or more passionate hobbies.  I'll be writing future posts about the pros and cons of piecing together jobs and hobbies, but I do like the succinct comment submitted by Rachel.  She explained, "I think of a career as something that builds related job experiences over time into something that means more as a collective than each job could on its own."   I love it.  There’s much to be said in having a common thread, gradually building up your range of expertise over time.

The next, most popular, selection, "following my life's calling and/or passion(s)" has always been a necessary component of my definition of "career."  And come on, if I didn't believe this one, why would I even bother calling myself a career coach?   Job listings and forecasts tell you where the money and jobs are and will be, but not where you personally have a chance of thriving and succeeding.  For example, if you have no passion or interest (or talent) in medicine and healing people, who cares if the job forecast says the nursing profession is a financially promising field because of aging baby boomers?  Without the motivation or interest or talent you will probably find it difficult to compete professionally with those who have a real passion and gift for nursing.  And then you are back to square one, but with college or grad school loans piled on top as well.

The third choice, "uncertainty and aggravation," unfortunately, have their place in careerdom.  (Don't bother googling that word, I just made it up.)  As much as we all wish this weren't true, these discomforts come with the territory. Even when you courageously follow your dream career path, wherein all of your talents and skills and interests line up perfectly, you'll still have moments of doubt and frustration.  (In fact, if you had absolutely NO trouble at all, I'd wonder if you are truly challenging yourself.)

Younger clients, quite understandably, often feel frustrated and overwhelmed with all of the possibilities presented to them.  My poll didn't reach many high school age and college age students, who would probably have selected this choice in greater numbers.  I personally remember feeling overwhelmed with career uncertainty in college and in my twenties;  however, my experience predates the onslaught of information (Facebook, Twitter, bing, google, and so on) that barrage young people today. 

One young person has described career coaching in terms of helping to "tame the monster," or making the ordeal of career selection more manageable. In light of this clever metaphor, isn't interesting that one of the most popular job sites today is called "monster.com?"  Surprisingly, doing a typical career search by itself results in far more frustration and anxiety than self discovery.  One would think the exact opposite is true, perhaps because the classifieds and career search engines such as careerbuilder.com and monster.com seem so easy, so accessible, so immediate. And we as a society- both young and old alike- don't like to think about long-range life planning.  It's difficult to see the immediate gratification.

Add to that the degree to which organizations inundate us with ads declaring that they can meet all of our career needs for success RIGHT NOW. In doing so they make it seem as if it takes less emotional energy to look to the outside for self-definition.  The great secret lies in searching for clues by looking at our own talents and interests;  however, remember this entails steering off the information highway and answering some questions about ourselves.  While it may seem easier to ingest lots of extraneous information (something we're addicted to now) than make a life decision, it's actually much more debilitating.

And the good news?  Great career design helps to ensure that the uncertainty and aggravation are only moments, not incessant daily occurrences.  Furthermore, being in a career that fits makes these moments feel like bumps in the road, not huge potholes that can swallow you whole. The more a client can look within for clues rather than search desperately for outside guidance, the more successful his or her path finding will be. 

Next up on the list, "a journey of trial and error."  Not a very popular choice, but a definite career component.  Sometimes what looks good on paper, in your mind's eye, on You Tube, TV, or on a glossy brochure isn't so perfect in real life.  That's why I recommend trying on a career for size before taking the plunge.  Take as much time as you can to shadow, volunteer, work part-time, intern, set up informational interviews... do whatever it takes to get a true look at a typical day "in the life of" said profession.  As one respondent pointed out, a career is "more than a job title."

And finally, "filling a need in society."  This is the entrepreneur's calling card.  Innovators know they don't get paid for doing or providing something no one wants or needs.  And if the need isn't apparent to society, they show society the need.  For example, computer programmer Craig Newmark founded Craigslist in 1995.  Before that time we all just assumed we had to pay for classified ads.  Craigslist and ebay, Google, Facebook- seriously, where would we be without these innovations?

Well..., probably more sane, but that’s a different story.

Often clients first come in thinking they need to fit in somewhere, when in actuality they discover they are the ones who have the upper hand.  They soon learn how empowering it is to learn that they have something others want.  It’s hard to see an innate talent because it’s innate!  If something comes easily for us, we don’t naturally recognize our uniqueness and that others need what we have.

Whether the needs of others involve healing, nourishing or teaching, or computing, advising, or investing, the fulfilled individual creates a way to fill these needs using his or her own vessel of physicality (strengths, agility, endurance), aptitudes, and talents.   In turn, using our own strengths (and you know something is a strength when your brain needs to do something, kind of like needing to exercise a dog that is pent up in a room all day) fuels us to keep filling others' needs.  Otherwise the vessel is depleted and there is nothing left to give.  I tell my clients that they must get energy in order to give energy, and they heartily believe me because they've usually had a lot of experience with one way giving in their jobs.

Stay tuned for my next post about defining a career, dictionary-style vs. Katie-style.  I'll attempt to help you make sense of the various schools of thought in career development circles.  That way when you go to the bookstore you can expediently identify the various philosophical camps without wading through the myriad career and self help books.  Unless you have that kind of time;  in which case have fun and let me know if there's some little gem I've missed, like, Bathroom Humor Part IX, or something...  (Is that in Self Help, by the way??)