Enriquez Iglesias-induced Impairment

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I temporarily forgot that I was over 40 with children when I said "yes" to my friend's invitation to go to an Enriquez Iglesias concert.  Didn't get home 'til almost 1:00 am last night.

Wait- that was... technically this morning.  Whatever.

http://www.desiretoinspire.net/

Very tired today.  Children up quite early.

Had a lot of fun, but again,

Very tired today.

Now, because of my fatigue, I've been experiencing a phenomenon which I discuss in my presentations:  Inferior Function awareness.  Just to clarify here and now, these are not functions that relate in any way to bodily functions. (It's not that kind of blog.)  Rather, these "functions" pertain to Personality Type, wherein "inferior function" is a term used in Type Development discourse.

We all have dominant functions and inferior functions, no matter what our personality type.  My dominant function, as determined by my ENFP preference, is a perceiving function called extraverted Intuition.  In other words, I tend to ask questions of others first before making judgments. Extraverted Intuition is a great dominant function to have as a career coach, because I ask really good questions of my clients.

I prefer seeking information from my environment rather than constantly making internal decisions on that information.  It's a conceptual, imaginative and open-ended dominant function, and I do it naturally, easily and without thinking. Kind of like writing with my right hand.

Now using my inferior function?  It's like using my left hand:  not quite as adept.  I can use it for basic things like picking up something or clapping, but forget trying to write my name with it.  Unless, of course, I want my handwriting to look like a kindergartner's.  

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My inferior function is introverted Sensing, which involves retrieving information from the archives of my brain.  Numbers, dates, general data recall, details, minute planning, blah blah blah.  Introverted Sensing is all about the internal perception of the here and now, the concrete details, and practical data.  I'd mention more but it's wearing me out just writing about these bad boys.

I mention my less-than-stellar adeptness with details in How We Got to the Moon.  And you can bet those pesky details are the first thing to go when I get tired or have a headache or get overly stressed.

The big concept part of my brain is fine; it's operating just dandily, almost automatically because it's used so much and works quite adeptly.  But my inferior, introverted Sensing function? Well, it might as well be where Enriquez and his band probably were this morning: in bed nursing a headache from too much La Vida Loca.  (Or perhaps that's just my fantasy of the kid-less showbiz crowd.)

So today it took a lot of extra energy to concentrate on paperwork, processing data, and doing calculations in my head.  Thankfully, being in the highly conceptual field of a career coaching that I am, those activities are kept to a minimum.  But struggling with these activities makes me appreciate my choice of paths.  My typical day really focuses on my dominant function and what I do best:  gathering information from people and outside sources and creating solutions with these concepts.

I've been in jobs where my inferior function was used every day all day (administrative work) and it was immensely draining.  Why?  The inferior function just doesn't work as well as the dominant function, and so it takes more energy to use.  Of course, we all use our inferior function all the time, but preferably in moderation.  And when someone says that their job drains them or that they come home "at the end of their rope," it's most likely due to the fact that they're probably using way too much of an inferior function.

That being said, I'm going to bed.  And you can ponder over your inferior and dominant functions while I sleep.

Oh, and Buenos Noches, Senior Iglesias.

My Website- like my home...

(Okay, not my home, but quite fetching, no?)

I have been working with a design team this past spring and summer.  We're working on a new web design, logo, brochure, and everything-in-between.

Oh, and did I mention the design team is in high school?

Well, actually, now they've graduated, but still.  Eighteen year-olds rock.

But back to the beginning of the process:  my team needed direction.

Being of the Perceiving persuasion, as the last letter of my ENFP personality type preference, I don't really give direction by nature.  I ask lots of good questions instead of giving orders.  And that's great for what I do.  In the case of clients, I first ask them what specifics are important to them, and then, using these clues, help guide them in a direction.  But I never tell them what direction to take.  This method works like a charm in the career coaching field.

Furthermore, in the case of my own projects, I ask others what they think and then direct myself using their input and my own inner compass.  Again, works well for the most part.  But giving directions, making lots of decisions... I was tremendously rusty.

And then I realized it really was quite simple:  I needed to figure out what I really wanted.  I just needed a nudge.  Kind of like when I had to decide how to decorate my home, I sought inspiration.  You'll recall my home design boards when I was doing my home makeover;  this time I made website design boards.

via geograph
Also not my home.  Makeover, anyone?

In creating my website design boards I surfed the web for hours.  I found websites that were stark white, minimalistic, and modern.  I found hipster designs that I loved, but many of them ultimately screamed, "I'm so cool I think you should have to pay to look at my words, you low-life."

(Or perhaps that was just me feeling intimidated?!)

(Nah... they really were quite snooty.)

Anyway, I combed through the endless corporate blather, the sentimental and trite, and, of course, the in-your-face, obscenity-laden rebels reporting how The Man or The Woman or Whatever Breathing Creature is Trying to Screw Them Over.

In other words, nothing fit me.  Nothing looked like what I wanted.  But then I eventually realized that was okay because that's what creating an original website is all about.  It's not about fitting into something out there;  rather, designing my website was about creating something totally fresh, from in here.  (You can now picture me lovingly pointing to my heart.)

(And now imagine a sappy and sentimental Hallmark-esque commercial.)

(And now you may retch.)

Although, generally speaking, I was drawn to the modern, the cool, the hip, the fun, and the fairly irreverent, I realized that I needed something more vibrant and meaningful.  I love color, the outdoors, the summertime, bright, living energy.  I needed- and continue to need-  all of these things.  Because it's not just about what I want, it's what I need for sustainability... when I go to write, to create, to invent.

Thankfully, I had a design team chock full of creative people who listened to what I needed.  They produced great ideas, combinations, designs, and photographs.  And I'm so very happy with our collaborative creation.  We're still working out some kinks, but it's coming along quite nicely, don't you think?

How I Stepped in It Big Time

 

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Wondering what I mean by "it?"

Okay, just imagine you are a city girl going to the country for the first time in your fancy Jimmy Choo stilettos and you decide it would be cool to prance around in a bucolic pasture of ginormous cows.  (You aren't a very smart city girl, apparently.)  And the next thing you know, as you pirouette your way past Bessie grazing blissfully on a mouthful of grass, you have landed in a big ol' pile of...

You see where I'm going with this, right?

So anyway, I stepped in a very big pile when I replied "yes" to an email requesting unit leaders for my daughter's day camp.

I thought, how bad could it be?  Just take the little gals from group activity to group activity, bond with my daughter and no problemo.

Problemo was, that doesn't begin to describe what the job actually entailed.  How did I fail to know this?  Because I failed to ask, "what does that entail?"  The only thoughts going through my mind were emotional, not factual: daughter, bonding experience, they neeeeeed me, blah blah blah.  If you'll recall I'm an ENFP, so my go-to decision-making uses the Feeling Preference, which means my heart can override my brain when left unattended.

As you can probably gather, Ol' Feeling was left unattended.  I'd already committed myself before asking about the details and facts of the situation.  I quickly discovered that the volunteer position actually entailed about 40 hours of prep and planning, on top of the 40 hours spent actually at the camp.  Oh, that and the fact that 24 girls were in each unit, and there were 200 total in the camp.  Woooaaa Bessie!

If only I'd bothered to ask about the details of the day-to-day requirements (for example, that I'd have to plan 36 hours of curriculum for six to eight year olds in rain or shine weather,) my decision would have at least been well-informed.  Had I known the enormous time commitment I would never have signed on, despite the pitiful cries from the leaders of the camp saying that our daughters couldn't have a camp without parent volunteers.  I would've just turned on the Thinking Side of my brain which would've said, "So what?  She misses out on a camp. No big deal, we'll go to the pool."

Now, on the other hand, and this is the second part of this post (hereafter entitled, "What I Learned From Camp") I'm kinda sorta glad I stepped in it.  I suppose the impulsive, bleeding heart, sucker-born-every-minute Feeling Side of me didn't do such a terrible job.  First of all, I ended up being able to learn more about my daughter, what engages her and what she is capable of.  I never would've really known had I not been in the trenches.  (And, Baby, was I in the trenches!) I can really appreciate how well-behaved and talented she really is.  I think I take that for granted sometimes.

Secondly, I met an incredibly interesting and inventive guy, a former marine, that can make almost anything out of, well, almost anything.  He was my co-leader who also became my saving grace.  He and I forged through the week battling not only some whiny hiny kids and a completely disorganized camp infrastructure, but also the blazing sun, humidity, mosquitoes, threats of thunderstorms, and a bathroom full of wasps.


Despite these obstacles we succeeded in creating a really great curriculum.  We climbed a fort, visited horse stables, learned about cumulus clouds, weather patterns, butterflies, lightning and tornadoes.  We made some kick-ass volcanoes, silly putty, ice cream, compasses, and, for the grand finale, we performed a musical review complete with glitter laden props.


(Do you really think I could get through a week at camp without incorporating glitter?  Or putting on some sort of musical spectacle?)



Collaborate and Survive

My co-leader and I couldn't be any more different in personality but we both share a determination to make the best out of any situation.  Best of all, we both possess a strong affinity for sarcasm and irreverent humor, which is probably why we can make the best out of any situation.  Instead of wallowing in camp hell (which was the first day) we managed to combine our talents and teach the girls creativity, friendship, coping skills, manners, animals, pioneering, flag folding, music, science, weather, theatre, and grace-under-fire.

My co-leader made it a special point to use his big old army knife for pretty much everything.  (They're quite versatile I discovered.  I'd get one if I thought I could keep all of my fingers.)  I made it a special point to teach the rules of engagement, of course.  I could tell there were some girls well on their way to becoming the future BMW's of the adult work world.  So why not at least try to pre-empt it?  We saw some major improvement over the week.  It felt good to make a positive difference in young lives.

In retrospect, I realize I paid a small price (80 hours of my time and some income) for committing to something before asking for clarifications.  And yes, it all worked out splendidly in the end.  But compare that to a a much bigger conundrum:  when we embark on a career path such as one that includes grad school without doing much research.  Talk about a huge price to pay!  We waste gargantuan amounts of time, money, and mental well-being when we jump into career path without gaining insight into what that career path entails.  Sure, trial and error plays a big part in discovering a path that fits, but a lot of the error is totally unnecessary. Just talk to anyone who has stepped in to a law career that sucks the soul out of them.  They wish they'd done a bit more research before going to law school in the first place.

This week's experiences also remind me of the challenges my clients face as they leap into new careers:  adversity, fatigue (because nobody has loads of free time to work on career transitioning without losing some sleep,) doubt, frustration when hitting obstacles, you name it....  Yet these same people are no less than heroes when they come out transformed, emboldened and on a mission to take ownership of their lives.  Whether they are creating their own paths or jumping into a new company from scratch, they are taking risks.  But it's worth the self-doubt and confusion, because in the end change has happened.  Heroes are all about facing the unknown, and, in turn, change.  Without it where would we be?

(Still rubbing stones together to make a fire and muttering incoherently to each other I suppose.)

I don't know if I'll embark on this camping adventure next year.  We'll see about that.  But I do know that I've really grown this past week.  So I guess I should pat myself on the back for that...

And I'm thinking that pat on the back will be in the form of a manicure and pedicure.  My nails are pretty much camped out.

Preferences... Because I'm Worth It... and So Are You.

I will always remember watching those old commercials for Preference by L'Oreal. Meredith Baxter Birney would would shake her gorgeous golden mane for the camera and say, "Preference.  By L'Oreal. (Shake hair, look back at camera.) Because I'm worth it."  And I would think, as a little girl, "Wooow!... I wish my hair could look like that."

Now my brunette locks do indeed look commercial-ready... at least on the day I go to my favorite hair designer, Pari Payravi, owner of Silhouette.  I relish those days I leave the salon feeling like a million bucks for not-so-many-bucks! 

Which brings me to the point of this post:  preferences.  What are yours?

It really helps to write them down.  It makes you feel happy, and "worth it."  Because come on, be honest.   Don't you kind of like feeling happy?  Even you cynics out there?

Also try writing down what you don't prefer, which, of course, is easier homework for the cynics.  Doing this exercise reminds you of what to incorporate into your life and what to stay away from... because I think we forget sometimes.  It's also nice to refer to your list whenever you need a boost of energy or a reminder of why something isn't working for you.  

So here are my likes and dislikes, in no particular order, that I thought I'd share with you.  You'll see this is quite an eclectic list, but then, I'm a pretty eclectic kind of gal:

Preferences:

1. Golden Retrievers.  These precious angels make wonderful pets.  They are like people but furry, soft and cuddly, not to mention extremely loyal and loving.  Goats follow closely behind, but I really don't know enough about them to put them at the top of the list with along with Golden Retrievers.

2. Pouring over Shelter Magazines.  (Note, I could call them "shelter mags," as they're often labeled; however that would be in direct violation with #2 of my non-preference list below.)

Fortunately for my subscription budget, but unfortunate for my past-time love, many of the great shelter magazines such as House and Garden and Domino have gone under.  I therefore find myself pouring over # 3...

3. Design Blogs. I am still working on my favorites...

4. Periwinkle.  My favorite clothing store in the Washington, DC area.  Elizabeth Mason, the owner, has an uncanny knack for putting together beautiful clothes and accessories to make the perfect outfit.  It's what I wish I could do naturally, but cannot.  (Which is why there are Elizabeths in the world.) Even when I can't afford to buy anything, I love looking at the gorgeous combinations.

5. Snacks are what I live for, because I'm like that type of desert mouse whose species I cannot recall that has to eat all of the time.  Although I know I'm supposed to just snack on "a piece of fruit" or "a handful of lowfat granola" (isn't that what the diet articles are always pushing?) my preferences include: Pretzel M & M's, pastel colored butter mints, Happy Goat Caramels (How can I resist any company that cares about a goat's well-being?) and cashews.  Can anyone say, "sweet and salty?"

6. Caramont Farm goat cheese.  Talk about happy goats!

7. Yoga pants from Athleta.  Anything that makes my bum look cute is worth buying.

romanticasheville.com

8. Asheville, North Carolina:  Gorgeous. In the mountains. Artist colony.  What's not to love?





9. Small businesses. I really do love to buy locally here at home or wherever I go.  (I know, so bandwagon.)  But so many businesses are little works of art.  They create such personally detailed atmospheres that actually have character.  Most important in my mind?  The owners are people who have guts.  They venture out of the typical work arena and create their own space.

Lovegrove Gallery via Coastal Living-AMAZING

10. Modwalls  So cool.  Just for fun, give the Modwalls Blender a try. You can go to their website and custom design glass tiles, then order samples of them.  Besides, it's good to be prepared.  You just never know when you'll need an emergency supply of custom designed glass tiles.

 11. Crest Outlast Toothpaste  I don't know what they put in this stuff (and no, I don't think reading the label would help) but the minty flavor does stay with you for a long time- sometimes as long as two to three hours!  Like I said, no clue what allows that to happen....

12. Talented people. Oh yes, I know, everyone has talents, but I'm referring to the people whose talents I know about because they have shared those talents with me in some way.  If you don't put your talent out there, how will I or anyone else know what you have to offer? 

Via: My Modern Met

13. Neon art. Dunno know why.  Just love it.

14. Innovative individuals.  These are people that are solving important problems, trying new things, creating something that's never been created before.  My sister is a great example.  She has Lupus and writes a poignant, funny, and informative blog about her experience.  She also wrote and published a fantastic book, Despite Lupus, that shows how to live well despite having a chronic illness.   Now she helps hundreds of people all over the world!



15. Personality.  I'm an ENFP, which is to say I have the following personality preferences:
Extroversion, INtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving.
So what does this mean in layman's terms?  I'm not the corporate type.

16. Flowers.  I have a habit of taking the picture of every flower I meet when I'm on vacation.  (Just ask my husband how many millions of floral images take up perfectly good hard drive space on our computer.)  I can't think of a more photo-worthy subject, except for my children, who, although adorable, move way too much when it comes to trying to capture them on film.  Which then begs the question:  why do I have thousands of pictures of them?

Non-preferences (no pictures for these bad boys.)

1. Any combined words, such as "jeggings."  Seriously.  There is no need. 

2. Abbreviations such as 'vator (elevator) or 'braire (library).   You can imagine this musical theatre lover's dismay when people began calling Les Miserables "Les Miz."
*note, in college, I met a friend who shared my distaste for abbreviations.  Ironically, her name was M.K. (short for Mary Kathryn.)

3.  Bumper stickers.  Again, seriously.  There is no need for me to know, just by looking at a person's car:
a) who they voted for, or
b) how they feel about, well, anything... or
c) that "s#@t happens!"

I mean, it's a car, for heaven's sake.  How about... just, ummmm, driving it?

4. Taking care of practical details.  That would be a ruh-eeeally nice preference to have, but I don't. Of course, I know that just because I don't prefer to do something doesn't mean I don't do it.  But I do tend to procrastinate those types of tasks.  For example, scheduling my own appointments around multiple schedules.  Talk about torture!!  I use up all of my practical detailing energy taking care of my kids' doctor appointments for heaven's sake....

5.  Living in the moment.  Nope, c'est pas moi. I'm a future thinker who takes a shot at mindfulness now and then.  And, yet again, it would be a nice natural preference to have, but I don't.  That's the "N" in my personality. (See Preference #15 above.)

A friend of mine, another woman who has the "N" preference, jokes that she knows she should read The Power of Now, but she never gets around to it.  I told her I feel her pain.  I've not read it either.   I'm sure I'll get to it... but right now I'm just too busy imagining how good it would be for me to read it.

6. Repetition.  So much for becoming a world class figure skater, or opera singer or anything that requires a lot of repetitive work.

7. Taking Care of Newborns.  I was really relieved when my children passed the six month stage....

Oh, alright!!!!! Who am I kidding?  Their first years are rather blurred by all of the practical details of diaper changings and feedings and whatever else I managed to do.

8. Abstaining from good food.  I know, I know, who likes to diet?  But I can't think of anything I'd rather NOT do than enjoy a good meal, no matter how many calories it has.  And I really can't stand bland food. 

9.  Routine.  I don't mind a schedule or having a system, within flexible reason!  But the redundancy that comes with a monotonous routine puts me over the edge... into my next non-preference...

10.  Boredom.  See, here I go writing a previous post called Rules of Engagement, whereby one is responsible for preventing one's own boredom; yet I still experience this mental phenomenon?  I suppose it's a little thing called "ob-li-ga-tion."

And there you have it.  Now, what are yours?  Let me know!  Maybe it will become a "fav" of mine!
(Ugh..., it hurt just to type that.)