The Freedom of Audacity

Flag
Jasper Johns

I hope you had a great Memorial Day Weekend. 

I was fortunate enough to spend the weekend in NYC with my daughter, and we had a marvelous time, of course.

One of our stops was to the Museum of Modern Art (a.k.a. MoMA), where we saw magnificent paintings, including Jasper John's Flag painting shown above. Very appropriate for Memorial Day Weekend, no?

What I find most gratifying about going to a museum and seeing a work of art in person are the brush strokes. It humanizes the painting for me, making it relatable and personally inspiring.

detail of the mixed media
nature of Flag

So much of what we read about art has to do with it's monetary value. For instance, it was much easier to discover on the internet that Flag was recently auctioned off at a cool $36 million than to determine the creative underpinnings of Jasper Johns and his patriotic work. However, when I go to a museum full of Picasso's and Monet's and Matisse's I forget about the money and the fame of the painters. Instead, I am overwhelmed by their creative audacity.

Modern artists had the willingness to create their own artistic language and develop mediums and styles that went against what their contemporaries deemed worthy. What's more, these are people that took a gamble on spending their lives pursuing endeavors that most people found impractical at best and a complete waste of time at worst: painting, philosophizing, growing their artistic interpretation of space, figures, color and light, fusing together politics, psychology, language and popular culture. They reimagined what art was and could be.

While money was painfully elusive to some and generously bestowed on others, they all shared the very real risk of expressing themselves as individuals. Take Jasper Johns, who grew up in a small rural community in Georgia, who has said the following about being an artist,

"In the place where I was a child, there were no artists and there was no art, so I really didn't know what that meant. I think I thought it meant that I would be in a situation different than the one that I was in."

Needless to say, my daughter and I were very inspired by our visit. The MoMA's exhibits made us think, "What could we accomplish if we chose to break down the most common barriers to entry? What if we could drum up some of that courage?"

Imagine the possibilities!

smARTteacher
elementary students
reinterpret Johns' Flag painting

Most importantly, we determined that, in light of such an important American holiday, we needed to appreciate those human beings who gave their lives and made inspiration and creative freedom ours for the taking. 

What a truly priceless gift.

Create Yourself

If you look just above this sentence, you'll see my banner head, GROW, with the smaller script below it reading, "Create Yourself."

When I came up with this tag line many years ago, I didn't think twice about it. I felt it was a perfectly reasonable, catchy little phrase that aptly described my career philosophy: I believe in creating your own career path using your amazing and unique combination of talents vs. trying to squeeze into a one-size-fits-all career mold.

(Think Chief Software Developer at Creative Design Solutions, Inc. vs. The Butcher, The Baker, or The Illustrious Candlestick Maker.)

But as I've spoken with people regarding this "create yourself" concept over the years, I've met a lot of raised eyebrows. As in, "What the $^%# are you asking me to do?!" I quickly learned that the idea was not as intuitive and accessible as I'd expected it to be.

And yet, this concept of creating oneself isn't some new-fangled buzz phrase in modern career thought. Rather, it's inspired from a source that is as far from new-fangled as you can get:

George Bernard Shaw. 

Born 1856. Dublin, Ireland.

I'd always been fascinated by Shaw's expansive and dynamic career journey in which he played multiple roles during his lifetime of 94 years. These included: playwright, essayist, novelist, orator, politician, social activist, music and literary critic and co-founder of the London School of Economics. He also won a Nobel Prize in Literature and an Academy Award for the screen adaptation of one of his plays.

Not too shabby!

And so, as you can imagine, it was with great delight that I stumbled upon this gem of a quote from Shaw:

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

As shown by the life he led and the career choices he made, Mr. Shaw obviously didn't wait for a career to jump out at him. Instead, he engaged his talents and particular fascinations in a way that would carve out his own unique and wildly successful career journey.

But somehow, across the Atlantic and over a century later, most of us are still conditioned from childhood to believe that, if we want to succeed, we have to follow a narrow, much trodden career path. If it's been done, we think we stay safe by going the same, well-lit route. (Never mind that well-lit routes are more fleeting than ever!) We are too scared at the daunting prospect of the unknown, of the initial confusion that must exist in order to create our own way that we back away from creating ourselves.

Leveraging our unique strengths? We can't risk that!

But how about the risk of losing our sense of self when we constantly focus on everyone else's career trajectories? For example, we slave over getting perfect grades in brand name high schools in order to gain entry into brand name universities and then even cooler companies. But what then? What happens when we discover that the prize was nothing even close to what we really were looking for? What happens when we personally and professionally flounder because we're now so far removed from what we're really good at?

I suppose that's why, whenever I see someone who dares to create his or her own path in life I take notice. These people always seem to be some of the most fulfilled people I meet. They know their strengths and use them to create solutions for others. They don't focus so much on finding the path they are supposed to take; rather, they actively create a layered, rich life that allows them to engage their multiple talents and fascinations in many different ways. They openly recognize, appreciate and leverage their unique combination of abilities and interests in ways that only they can. They stick with what they value and, if what they value is useful to others, people come to recognize and even pay handsomely for that value.

And so, despite the occasional raised eyebrows and skepticism, I'm going to stick with my "create yourself" battle cry. It's what I value, how I approach my life and, most of all, it's a philosophy that's proven effective time and again with clients. However, unlike Mr. Shaw, I'm not so patient when it comes to ideas catching on.  In fact, I'm not-so-secretly hoping for the idea of "create yourself" to go all viral on me. You know, like a social meme or something like that.

Drumming fingers on desk

Aaaaany day now....

"What's Your Verse?"

As I watched The Oscars last night, I found myself enjoying the highly inventive commercials. My favorite? The ad for the iPad Air®.

Read the commercial's script here, taken from Robin Williams' monologue in the movie, Dead Poet's Society.

Enjoy!

-Katie

The iPad Air is a registered trademark of Apple Inc.

Blazing Your Own Trail

While I was a graduate student here in Washington, DC at the beginning of the new millennium, I drove daily along the battered end of North Capitol Street, where you could see the beautiful dome of The Capitol Building straight ahead, in the distance, just as you passed by the bullet proof glass protecting the Kentucky Fried Chicken Drive-Thru. 

Then, after turning off North Capitol Street onto D Street, I'd approach a crazy intersection that seemed to go in about 10 directions. That intersection was surrounded by abandoned buildings and scrappy little patches of grass (I absolutely wouldn’t call them lawns) where no one seemed to inhabit, save for the rose sellers or beggars who’d try to get you to roll down your window and give them hope in the form of loose change.

Now, like much of the revitalized District, the area is built up with steel corporate high rises replete with gleaming mirrored windows, luxury apartments and über hip fitness centers. But at the time of my trek to and from school, this confluence of roads couldn't be described as anything more than an urban eyesore. 

So it was no surprise that the one thing that stood out among this barren urban crossroads was a brightly painted message along the side of one crumbling, abandoned building:

“Do Not Follow Where the Path May Lead.  

Go Instead Where there is No Path and 

Leave a Trail.”

Now, you have to remember that this time period predated the proliferation of motivational quotes on Tumblr, Facebook and Pinterest, so I wasn't yet desensitized to the power of a pithy quotation. Instead, it truly intrigued me, and, more often than not, haunted me.

The anonymous graffiti artist didn't include the author of those words, but I soon discovered through research that it could be attributed to American poet and writer Muriel Strode (b. 1875.) I drove by that quote almost every day for three years, and each time I'd wonder what kind of trail I wanted to leave, and, more specifically, how I would leave it. Would it involve acting? Directing? Writing? Teaching? Or something else entirely?

It took me a few more years before I understood what kind of trail I wanted to leave, which, as you know, ended up falling mainly in the "something else entirely" category. And to this day that trail is always evolving and expanding, keeping things interesting. I'm constantly asking myself questions such as, How do I take my coaching practice to the next level? Make it more nuanced? How do I best deliver my service in a novel way? Who needs my career services the most? Will I need to carve out my niche market more intricately?

Even with these ongoing uncertainties, I can't describe how good it feels to have cracked the code, so to speak. It's wonderful knowing that my sweet spot lies in coaching; that I use some of my most valuable talents- that happen to be non-performing ones- to make a difference in others' lives. And, in that coming full-circle kind of way, I like the fact that my "trail" involves helping others blaze their own.

(Here's where I'm going to boldly imagine that Strode would've been pleased!)

I won't lie and say it's been easy; far from it. It has taken due diligence and a hefty sense of self to figure out what kind of path to create. And, undoubtedly, I couldn't have done it alone. Reaching out to others made a turn-of-the 20th century writer's words come to life for me. I realized that in order to create my own unique, individual path I needed the power of collaboration. While that may sound ironic, it actually makes sense given the communal nature of the creative process. And what is the process of designing our own career paths if not a creative one?

Ultimately, yes, it is our own creative hand that paints our life's legacy; however, we can always use the wisdom and support of others to inspire our creations. Seeking guidance is different than following footsteps; we're allowing the paths and knowledge of others to inform our choices, to navigate our way through obstacles, to help us design our own exciting, personalized paths.

Interestingly, the following is Strode's prequel to the above quote, which allows us to see the author's journey in arriving at her conviction to "leave a trail."

"I longed to build as you had builded, but I knew that your joy lay in the conception of your own design. 

I longed to follow where your feet had trod, but I had watched your exhilaration as you felled a new way.

I longed to do that thing you did and be that thing you are, but I knew life's complement was yours because you were yourself."

My Little Book of Prayer

Muriel Strode, 1904

I am eternally grateful for Strode's words so generously painted on an otherwise useless building. Her proclamation held me accountable to discover my own voice. And, because of that difficult search, it also led me to seek help in finding it.

So now I'll hand these thought provoking words over to you, with the hope that you'll feel embolden enough to blaze your own trail.

But hopefully they'll also beg the question:

Who will provide you with the tools to create that trail?

Notes:

*Strode's original quote was, "I do not follow where the path may lead, but I will go where there is no path and leave a trail" 

**Many have mistakenly credited this quote to Ralph Waldo Emerson.  

A Super Bowl of Talent

As we head into Super Bowl Sunday 2014, I thought a great football quote by sportswriter extraordinaire, David Epstein, would be à propos.

In his most recent book, The Sports Gene, Epstein writes about athletic ability and the complex combination of raw talent and hard work that go into world class athleticism.  The following quote comes from an interview Mr. Eptsein gave with EconTalk's Russell Roberts:

"...what sports are and should be is an attempt to get the most out of what someone's gifts are and see how they can be used uniquely. 

And there are not only all these different sports, but different positions within the different sports. 

Look at a football field. You almost have the extremes of the human physique represented on the field at one time. 

And I just find that to be really cool and fascinating, and a big departure from the early 20th-century idea that the average body type was the best for all endeavors and that anything that deviated from that was basically a mistake."

Click here for Mr. Epstein's phenomenal interview.

Enjoy!
-Katie

p.s. Please do not tell my husband that I used "à propos" and "Super Bowl Sunday" in the same sentence. He would not be pleased.

Create Yourself: Tom Waits

“My kids are starting to notice I'm a little different from the other dads. 

'Why don't you have a regular job like everyone else?' they asked me the other day. 

I told them this story: 

In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, 'Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at you...you're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you.' And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, 'Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest.' So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, 

growing stronger and stranger every day.” 

― Tom Waits, American singer-songwriter, composer and actor

Taken from Lowside of the Road: A Life of Tom Waits by Barney Hoskyns

Create Yourself: Shane Coyczan

Good to know there are still people out there who dare to do something fresh and authentic.

Enjoy!
-Katie

p.s. Please be advised before clicking on video link below of the mild, brief profanity

Remember

Why I Succumb to the Thumb

Via Flickr

I never sucked my thumb. (I was a paci girl!)

My children never sucked their thumbs (which was lucky for us.)

So why am I now succumbing to the thumb?

As in, the Facebook Thumb?

via Flickr: ksayer1

After much debate, I have a business page on good ole FB. Lest you think me a complete luddite, however, I'll have you know that I've had a personal page for quite a while... but, cough, never used it much cough cough.

And currently, as I write this sentence, my business page says that I launched it "20 hours ago." However, from what I can tell, everyone else's FB business pages say, "launched 20 years ago." Which is questionable, since Mr. Zuckerberg wasn't even alive back then.

(Or maybe he was a toddler.  I've no idea.)

Anyway, here's why, up until a few days ago, I thought Facebook pretty much Zucked:

1) I NEVER wanted to know who ate Tostitos while watching the hockey game last night.

Or who liked the fact that that individual did that and then liked that she liked that ... and where that monumental revelation occurs on someone's timeline.

2) I had concerns about someone "liking" their own status.

Or commenting on their own update.  In my mind, it equates to a person addressing herself in the third person. And I am forced to wonder, is this the new way of communicating offline as well? Will FB permeate regular dialogue?

Perhaps I'll do a little experiment. At my next cocktail party I'll try saying, "It's been nice talking to you, but Katie would now like to go tear into some of those bacon-covered shrimp thingies. And then she'll let you know if she likes them by giving you one thumb up.

3) I wondered how everyone all the way to Venus and back could share everything safely, without some sort of Invasion of the Life Snatchers happening.

Here's a satirical segment I recently saw on The Onion.  The gist of it is this:

Q: When the CIA wanted to legally infiltrate people's every life detail, what did they do?
A: They started Facebook.

(Okay, well, I thought it was kinda funny. A little Zucked up, but funny.)

Via Flickr: ksayer1

Like It!

So why did I decide to switch over and enter this brave new world?

(Like I even have to tell you; everyone but me has known the answer for like, 20 years.)

Because I'm realizing that:

1) I kind of "like" how efficient and revolutionary it is.

Now I can connect with people I love connecting with but don't have the time to offline.

2) It has an incredibly good design.

I'm all about good design that has almost universal appeal.  Because I don't go for trends too much, being a non-conformist by nature, I tend to seek out innovations that are excellent to use, allow for individualistic experiences and are progressively beneficial.

3) I have business needs.

Since the world is on Facebook, I need to be there too.  (I know, I know. Duh!!)

So Please 

(now that you know I'm a convert) 

Won't You, O Won't You, Gimme a Thumbs Up?!!

If you happen to be thumbing through Facebook, which, statistically speaking, you just did less than five minutes ago, be sure to check out my new business page at:

https://www.facebook.com/growcareercoach

And let me know if you "like" it!

P.S. 

Don't get me started on the Twitter Bird. 'Cause I've Zuckumbed to that one too. (Or have I been Dorseyfied?)

Create Yourself: Will Gray

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” 

― George Bernard Shaw

Last year, when my friend, Rebecca, recommended I go with her to a screening of Will Gray's documentary, "Broke," I thought little of it.  But Rebecca always has good recommendations when it comes to musical events, so I figured I might as well check it out. (After all, she was the catalyst behind my Enriquez Iglesias experience.) And this documentary was about breaking into the music industry, so I suspected that I'd probably enjoy it.

But "enjoy it" was an understatement. The experience blew me away.

The film screening was held in an intimate setting, a row house in Washington, DC. Upon entering, Will welcomed all of us in what I now know to be his typical warm, affectionate way. I was even a little taken aback by his humility and graciousness, being that he'd made a film, was a phenomenal singer and a gifted song writer.

And let's just say he was quite easy on the eyes.

(Shoot, was that out loud?)

Anyway, what really blew me away was Will's voice.  And I'm not just talking about his speaking voice or singing voice, which was, I have to say, amazing. (He and his fellow performer, Reva Williams, treated us to a few stunning performances following the film screening.) I'm referring instead to what Will had to say.  He had managed to find his Voice with a capital "V," that inner awareness that so few people seem to achieve in their lifetime.  He knew what he wanted: to perform, to create, to tell a story; and he new what he wanted to say: that the music industry was changing in some not-so-beneficial ways and how it that affects the artform of performing and songwriting.

The fact that Will had made his music career- by age 30- something profoundly personal and unique was truly inspirational.  What's more, Will had made his life his own in a world of imitators and skeptics, a world I'd become somewhat familiar with from my time in professional acting. Like a breath of fresh air he was genuine and kind. He hadn't succumbed to all of the phoniness of the music business, from the rejections, from the hardships of trying to express his art despite the throngs of people trying to break into showbiz mainly to be famous.  He hadn't been hardened by the fact that being the right look or sound can easily trump talent.

What I saw that night was someone who had chosen to transcend that often troublesome world by having faith: faith not only in God but in himself and others as well.  He appreciated the collaborative approach to music, writing and filmmaking. He spoke of the miraculous results stemming from working as a team and how he relished that collective creative process.

It became increasingly apparent as the evening progressed that Will was living in a truly multifaceted way, using his whole person. He had tapped not only into his songwriting ability and singing talent but also his entrepreneurial streak, his sharp intellect, his poetic gift for visual, oral and musical storytelling, and his penchant for finding meaning in life and sharing it with others. He demonstrated all of these extensions of himself in his beautiful music, his insightful documentary and the visual way in which he had presented the entire evening.

Listening to the story and songs of a musician who had gone for "broke" (thus the documentary's title) provided a visceral experience for all of us gathered there.  We shared an unexpected creative intimacy in a normally distant, reserved and sometimes unimaginative city. I suppose we Washingtonians just needed a bit of a renegade to shake things up!

So, from a person who has been fortunate enough to experience your talents, here is a belated thank you, Will.  Thank you for touching my life in such a wonderful way. You eloquently embody what it means to "create yourself."

Make It Your Own

If there's one thing I learned from my 12 years of professional acting it's this:

Don't go into professional acting.

I'm kidding! 

(kind of...)

And the second most important thing I learned is this:

Whatever you do, make it your own. 

I thought of the latter when I watched a video of these two young men playing the Lennon/McCartney song, "Let it Be":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-5XOCMpUwA

Enjoy!
-Katie

Grown Ups Who Like To... Play??!!

My astute brother-in-law found this fun article from the Wall Street Journal that I just had to share you.

I don't find too many stories that depict adults having fun just for the sake of it. These guys have managed to continue playing a game most of us abandon when we're 10.

Enjoy!

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323375204578269991660836834.html?mod=WSJ_hp_mostpop_read

Hail To All Ye Procrastinators

Flickr

I bear glad tidings and even better news!

I've found a plethora of great gifts out there for those of us who like to do our Christmas shopping in the fast lane:  last minute.  Although I started shopping for gifts at the beginning of December, I was still shopping online yesterday and may buy some little gems today or tomorrow.  With sites like Amazon and eBay, you can get killer deals shipped free in one or two days.

Amen, Brother!

Flickr

This newfangled thing they call the internet is so beneficial to those of us who don't have all their little Christmas geese in a row. Of course, being an objective proponent of peoples' personal preferences, I should mention that I think it's just ducky that some people are so organized they have their holiday cards stamped and ready to go on Thanksgiving... the entire year before.  We may accurately assume that these are the same people who have their underwear drawer alphabetized by brand and color.

Again, not a judgment, just an observation.

Flickr

But I, for one, am not one of those people.  And yet, who cares?  I choose to be true to my nature, stick with my strengths, and retain some merriment of the season, rather than exhaust myself with other peoples' expectations.  That is why I now send out New Year's cards every year instead of Christmas cards.  And these are the paperless kind- on Smilebox Greetings.  (Another great invention for people such as myself, which tells me there may be one or two others like me out there, remaining incognito.)

This way I can drum up the best of the year's pictures, add in some little captions and call it a day.  I really enjoy (and am pretty good at) creating photo collages, and selecting accompanying music and backgrounds.  Most importantly, I can do it the week after Christmas, when the frenzy is over.


In doing so I have embraced my aversion to post offices, buying stamps, ordering cards in time, and hand addressing 100 envelopes.  I've officially declared myself free from my most dreaded part of the season. Plus I save a few trees in the process.

colormegreen

I used to be much harder on myself, and I still find myself stressed and overwhelmed by the things that I am obligated to do.  For example, I do like to get everyone's presents to them by Christmas.  (I know, crazy huh?) And I find that a not-so-easy task, especially since that requires a lot of practical planning.

But I don't stress the stuff that really isn't necessary and just wigs me out.  So I send out e-cards versus snail mails, and go to a cookie party with bakery cookies versus home baked.

            (Trust, me the bakery I use does a bang up job on iced cookies.)  

Annie's Picks

The way I look at it, the more people who rebel against the status quo the easier and more festive this  season will become.  Therefore, I am helping out society by being one of those "holiday slackers."

You may thank me later.

I have one last plea, however, and that is to the retailers out there who seem to chastise consumers for buying after December 15th.  I ask of these advertisers:

                      Why must thou rub it in? 

Why use phrases such as, "Last Minute Shoppers rejoice!  You still have time!" or, like the Land's End promotional e-mail today read, "On Dasher, On Dancer on Procrastinator."

(Seriously, at least be funny if you are going to chide us like that.)

Why must we be labeled as "procrastinators?"  Why not just call us "ne'er do wells" or "hanger-ons" while you're at it?  Don't you know we all prefer to do things differently?!!  Where is the love, the understanding, the compassion for individual styles?

Couldn't you say something like, "Hooray!  You did it!!!  You stuck it out for the really good deals!  Way to push the envelope, Ye Non-conformists!"

But alas, I have little faith my pleas will be heard.

And no matter!  I shall now enjoy a cup of steamed milk with cinnamon and honey, in this festive holiday mug pictured above, and see what else I can still get "guaranteed by the 23rd."

(Hopefully I'm safe to assume that's the 23rd of December, not February or March.)

Don't Be Like Steve

Here is some wonderful insight by John Lilly, investor, computer scientist, teacher, blogger, former CEO of Mozilla, and once-Apple scientist who worked with Steve Jobs:

The biggest message from Jobs’ life: Don’t try to be like Steve. Don’t try to be like anyone. Be yourself and work as hard as you can to bring wonderful things into the world. Figure out how you want to contribute and do that, in your own way, on your own terms, as hard as you can, as much as you can, as long as you can. His most lasting message, I hope, won’t be about technology or management or media or communications or even design. The work he did in those areas certainly matters and will continue to — impossible to ignore it. Still, I think it’s not the main thing, the essential thing. 

I hope the message that people really take, really internalize is that being yourself, as hard as you can, is the way to have important and lasting impact on our world. That might be in the context of technology. It might be in the context of technology, or the arts, or sports, or government, or social justice — or even in the context of your family and close friends.It almost doesn’t matter. The thing that matters most is to figure out what’s important to you, what’s core to you, and do that. Be that. And do it as well as you possibly can, every single day.

http://john.jubjubs.net/ Oct 09

So What the Heck is a Career Anyway??? Part IV: Alternative Career Lifestyles

In a recent post ("Part II", to be specific), I mentioned that we could all benefit from thinking of careers in broader terms.  Specifically, I pointed out that while some successful careers may take the form of one straight and narrow path, others are not so traditional.  This post addresses the non-traditional form that certain individuals may choose to take: a combination of paths creatively woven together to satisfy different interests and skills.  As I said before, while different people are drawn to different kinds of paths, ideally all of these paths bring our innate talents and interests to life in the form of a career.  

That being said, I've decided that I would now like to give the latter, non-traditional description the title:

"Alternative Career Lifestyle."

Say what?!!

Yes, I am declaring a new wave of thinking about careers, so much so that I am putting it in bold print and quotation marks. This new wave, which I will shorten to "ACL" (and not to be confused with the ligament found in the knee) describes the individuals who push the envelope of what it means to be fully satisfied career-wise and live well in the process.  These people don't care what "The Book" (i.e. the general consensus) says about what careers look like;  rather, these folks just do what they are:

a) good at
b) drawn to and
c) NEED to do, even if it's not what conventional wisdom dictates as acceptable. 

And no, I'm not talking about doing anything illegal.  I am sure you can find other blogs about that.  What I am referring to is simple:  Do what you need to do, even if it doesn't make other people say to themselves, "WOW!  (S)he has one really important/lucrative/respectable/hoitytoity/pie-in-the-sky/enviable/intellectual job!"  Because, really, who cares if your career path doesn't fit into the 40+ hour work week of say a doctor/lawyer/engineer or whatever else society says is the ultimate in job titles? 

At least I don't, if that makes you feel any better.

So the following are just some examples of people who lead alternative career lifestyles:

1) A person who has a multitude of interests that are better met with two or more part-time, but individually fulfilling jobs (such as a person whose main function or common thread is teaching/advising, and feels compelled to teach and advise in multiple demographics and settings.)

2) A parent that works for him/herself from home, intermittently dividing his or her time between a professional business and family business (i.e. running to the dry cleaner on the way to a client meeting and stopping on the way to that meeting to deliver a forgotten lunch to their child's school.)  
This same individual is less concerned with being the primary bread winner and more committed to raising a family while devoting some coveted hours to personal, career-oriented work.

3) A person who, for one reason or another, physically cannot work a full-time job outside the home but still needs and wants to contribute his or her talents in a non-traditional way.  (Paid or unpaid.)
He or she may start a business or get involved virtually with an organization and/or create a schedule of getting outside the home to work on a less-than-regular basis.

4) An individual who takes his or her training and education and inherent talents and volunteers full-time for an organization, garnering only what they need to live.  These careers may not pay anything but room and board, but many will say that giving of themselves in exactly the way they want to give is a luxury in and of itself.

5) Anyone  who writes, designs, paints, builds, acts, sings, etc. but needs to have some side job(s) that gives them peace of mind.  Having the financial burden lifted allows them to create without the pressure to perform or create for pay.  I must mention one extremely important caveat, however.  If the stability job drains the person emotionally, physically, and/or psychologically, creativity and self-esteem will suffer and peace of mind goes out the window!

All of this Alternative Career Lifestyle talk really boils down to this:  good career design doesn't always have one dimension.  Creating a career that fits your life means taking into account many factors, and talent and passion must mesh with where you are in your life at this point in time.   Therefore, "life design" more adequately describes the process I use with clients.  I encourage them to look at their lives as a whole.  Where are they now?  How is that different than 5 or 10 or 15 years earlier?  How have their needs changed?  How has their physical energy changed?  Have priorities been shuffled around, changing their minds as to what is most important to them?  I suggest they move away from the traditional practice of balancing personal and almost oppositional professional lives.  Rather, I propose that they take a more toward a holistic approach to meshing their lives, talents and careers together.

What that looks like is up to them.

The Blind Side's Got Talent... to a T

Being a parent of two little children means that I am a few weeks, perhaps months, even years behind on my movie viewing.  I am equally pathetic at reading your typical mainstream bestsellers.  For example,  I just read The Da Vinci Code a couple of months ago.  I really don't understand the hype about that one... but I guess I can't add anything to that erudite (ahem) and controversial discussion because it ended, what, 10 years ago? So I will apologize here and now for referencing movies that are so NOW-ON-DVD.

That being said, the movie, The Blind Side, hasn't been out too long (and Sandy won an Oscar and adopted a baby or two and had boy trouble, as I was told by the supermarket tabloids), so I thought it might still be on everyone's radar.

My grade for the movie:  an A+ for celebrating the powerful force of knowing one's own unique talents.  Based on the non-fiction book, The Blind Side:  Evolution of a Game by Michael Lewis, this movie illustrates what happens when talent and temperament are ignited by a catalyst:  in this case, an observant, intuitive mother.
  
As a young man, Michael Oher, now grown up and an offensive tackle for The Baltimore Ravens, was the victim of tragic neglect since infancy.  This neglect stunted his intellectual and social abilities by epic proportions.  However, as movingly portrayed in The Blind Side, Oher has the good fortune of being taken in by a loving and caring family.   His adoptive family provides not only for his basic physical needs of a bed, a home and food, but his emotional and intellectual needs as well.  His mother, Leigh Anne Touhy, played by the aforementioned Sandra Bullock, as well as his father and a caring teacher see his potential intellect and talent lying dormant, and gradually help to nurture Michael's inborn gifts to life.

Motivation and Ability

Oher's new caretakers quickly discover that the young man possesses incredible natural athleticism in addition to his large size;  however, they feel there's a missing piece of the puzzle.  Michael, who does not - and cannot- adequately communicate his own preferences, seems reluctant to use his athletic ability and strength.  Despite his enormous size he has no desire to tackle just for the sake of tackling, unlike every other lineman on the team.  The high school coach can't understand why anyone of Michael's stature wouldn't seek to use this size to his advantage and crush his relatively diminutive opponents.

As if in response to the coach's incredulity, the movie employs a wonderful analogy: the classic children's story of Ferdinand the Bull.    Ferdinand is the sweet, loveable and enormous bull who has no aggressive instincts even though he's supposed to be, well, bullish.   Oher is that gentle giant who's modus operandi, in spite of his size, carries no aggressive inclinations.

The mother discovers this lack of aggressiveness and turns it into a solution.  She intuitively taps into a priceless jewel hidden beneath her son's 300 + lb. frame: an unsung affinity for protecting and caring for others.  She points out to Michael that he has the opportunity to protect his fellow players, just as he protects his family.  Once this pivotal discovery is put into play, Michael Oher's life is changed forever.  He has found his motivation, and the rest of his life starts to come together.

Specialized Talent

Unlike many offensive positions in football, the left tackle actually seeks to protect the quarterback, not just tackle the defensive line.  In his book, author Michael Lewis examines how specialized a person must be to play the offensive left tackle position at the highest level in football: playing in the N.F.L.   This position's requisite specialty is even rarer than many other positions in pro football and therefore "one of the most valuable commodities," as Lewis writes.  (Oh, and did I mention, the second highest paid position, next to the quarterback?)

This specialization is where Michael Oher's physical tools come into play.  He has amazing agility combined with enormous (yet solid) size and incredible speed.  He also possesses inordinately large hands to handle tough defenders, and long arms to keep the rushers at bay.  These traits enable Oher to protect the quarterback's blind side- the left side.  The country's top football coaches spotted his uniqueness right away and vied for Michael Oher to come play at their schools.

On a career note, we have all seen/heard/read about how talent scouts and coaches look for specific characteristics in putting together a football team.   Different positions obviously require different skills.  So what if non-athletes were to look at themselves from that perspective?    My guess is that most people would benefit from thinking of themselves as highly specialized individuals.

You have a singular, intricate tapestry of physical and mental abilities in the same way you have a distinct fingerprint.   What if you began looking at yourself as a scout would:  what combined talents, motivations, abilities, and strengths do you have to offer?  If you aren't crystal clear, a career expert can help to illuminate traits you would never think of as useful.  (Because, hey, who has the luxury of being discovered by a talent scout for accounting or entrepreneurial brilliance?)
 
Environment Seals the Deal

By the end of the movie we see what happens when a nurturing, supportive environment helps an individual ignite his talent and intellect.  We see Michael's journey from working hard just to physically survive each day (as he had for 16 + years) to working hard to excel at his talents, mental pursuits, passions, and dreams.  And this journey illustrates an important element as far as talent is concerned: without any nurturing, a person's nature cannot be expressed fully or, as in Michael's case, barely at all.  His hard-working, intelligent, protective nature, was not seen until some basic foundations had been allowed him.

As a mother watching this movie, I could relate. This is because I've got my own little Ferdinand.  Or Fernandina, to be exact.  And she's more like a lithe little calf than a bull, but that's beside the point.  Like Michael, she seems to lack any aggressive instincts.  When playing soccer, for example, she would much rather stand out in a field and gather daisies for the other teammates than have anything to do with fighting for ball time.  Moreover, when a fellow player gets hurt, she MUST  go and see if he is okay.  (Yes, "he."  She's in with all boys, and no, we did not plan it that way but she's hanging in there like a champ.)  She would much rather play the healer role than that of the aggressor.  But instead of wishing she'd kick the ball (okay, just once during the entire one and a half hour class might be nice,) I do find her inclinations fascinating.

Who knows how my daughter will use her healing nature in the future, but only she can figure that out.  It may or may not have anything to do with the medical field;  healing may be the way she approaches her job or clients or students or co-workers.  But I hope that, like Michael's parents, I can provide the opportunities for her to thrive.  My wish for her as she gets older: to be able to pick daisies in whatever field she chooses.

Goat Heaven

I recently visited the amazing Caromont Farm, and saw not one but four baby goats (or kids, to be precise) who had just been born the night before.  I owe this pleasure to owner Gail Hobbs-Page, who gave me a fantastic tour of her intimate goat farm.  She kindly introduced me to her precious, angelic kids and does. 

Now, you may ask, what was I, a career coach, doing in a remote goat farm in the middle of Virginia's Shenandoah Valley?   First of all, I love goats.  I'll brazenly admit that fact.  Second of all, I needed to follow up a hunch I had upon reading about Gail:  that this was a person I needed to meet!  I am always on the lookout for a unique individual who creates her own career, as opposed to choosing one, cafeteria style, from want ads and occupational handbooks.

My hunch was correct,  Gail certainly fit the bill.  She embodies what I call The Trail Blazer:  one who successfully blends her skills, varied passions, core beliefs and ideal environment into one distinct, and often uncommon, career path.  (For more on trailblazing, please see my previous post.)

My trip proved extremely fruitful.  I got a wonderful glimpse into a career path filled with personal integrity and joy.  Ms. Hobbs enthusiastically shared with me the intricacies of artisanal cheese making, the importance of ethical animal husbandry, and the merits of eating locally and supporting healthy food systems.  She articulately explained her business and life philosophies all the while affectionately stroking and cuddling with her ever-grateful goats.  (Who were happily munching on my purse, I might add.)

Talking to someone like Gail, a woman enthralled by what she does, even (and especially) during the hard times, gives me goose bumps.  Farming and cheese making is a career she needs to do, not just wants to do.  I applaud loudly when someone takes the oftentimes scary plunge to live well and genuinely, thereby soaking in the rewards that an honest day's work has to offer, even if it means giving up a lucrative career.

Before founding Caromont Farm, Ms. Hobbs-Page was the head chef of three top restaurants in North Carolina and New York City.  Interestingly, the University of North Carolina graduate never studied formally at a culinary school; rather, she learned the "old fashioned way" as she puts it, by apprenticing.  She quickly realized after beginning her work in professional kitchens that she had found her calling.  She possessed a special, innate gift of culinary prowess.

However, after many years, the restaurant lifestyle was becoming something she was ready to leave behind. The weekends, holidays, and general craziness in schedule was starting to drain her.   (I told her that I could definitely relate to lifestyle fatigue, a common casualty of being in the acting business for any length of time.)  Nevertheless, immersing herself in the restaurant business became an important stepping stone in her lifelong food journey.  As a chef, she learned how the culinary world operated.  This knowledge would later become a critical component for transitioning to the other side of the table.  As a farmer she would have to meet the needs of the most discerning epicurean clients,  fellow chefs. 

She spoke with me about this transition from Head Chef to going out on her own as a farmer:

"[I found myself] at that proverbial 'crossroads', where you want to do something so badly, you know in your heart you can do it, but the overwhelming fear in your brain takes over and you are so afraid of the failure that you make bad decisions or even worse rationalize yourself into doing nothing. It's the ultimate form of self-sabotage, I think. It had paralyzed me for so long.

When I decided that I was going to start making decisions NOT based on fear, but based on this new idea of success (not based on making money, but making a good product from animals that love and nurture me)  is when Caromont took off. For me, that distinction was pivotal. I was no longer coming from a decision based on fear, quite the opposite. I was living THIS life based on my core values, not just swimming downstream serving feed lot beef and vegetables from China."


Not only does Ms. Hobbs-Page live in accordance with her personal values, she presently draws from her rich treasure trove of talents:  Cooking, farming, teaching, and cheese-making.  She has a strong preference for working with her hands, which she can accomplish in her cheese-making.  She cares for the animals most of the day (another hands-on task), along with doing marketing and thinking down the road for her business.  She finds it crucial to be able to "see ahead" to determine what will be needed next.  These last activities are, of course, very conceptual, very visionary tasks, which many successful entrepreneurs are capable of doing on a daily basis.

Gail also teaches cooking classes, which she particularly enjoys.  She says that people have commented to her that she teaches all the time, especially each time she talks about food.  That seems to be a natural proclivity for her:  sharing what she knows with others who want to learn.  Sounds like a head chef function as well, no?

She shared with me the concept of relationship-building when it comes to the food business.  Her propensity for building bridges with other members of the food community as well as the surrounding Central Virginia community-at-large has garnered her many successful partnerships.  Her hand-crafted artisanal chevre is served at world-renowned restaurants in Virginia such as the Inn at Little Washington.  She also provides her cheeses to many other fine establishments like The Clifton Inn and Fosters of Keswick Hall.  Gail has built, from the ground up, long-lasting relationships with other like-minded, gifted chefs; relationships grown from mutual respect and trust.

Ms. Hobbs-Page gave me a sample of her delicious cheese and what a treat!   I have never tasted anything so fresh and wonderfully flavorful.  I can tell that it came not only from happy and well-loved goats, but from an artisan who cares deeply about what she creates.  So the next time someone says to you, "I love to cook, but I don't want to be a chef," inform them that they don't have to be!  There are many delectable ways to create one's own culinary path.

If you want to know more about the life of a goat farmer and the ups, downs, and nitty gritty ruggedness of farming life, check out Gails website, www.caromontfarm.com.  You may become a goat fan too.

Following Footsteps or Blazing a Trail?

What is it about comparing yourself to others that is so counterproductive, if not self-destructive? 

First of all, envy focuses our energy entirely on someone else rather than ourselves.  While we have no control over what enviable career path a particular person has taken, we do have control over what choices we make for ourselves.  And, generally speaking, do we really know what led them down their so-called enviable path?  Or what sacrifices they made to get there?  Maybe they sacrificed nothing valuable to them, but to you the compromises would have to be very significant.

Secondly, is it realistic to think that you will take the same exact path of someone else and excel in the same exact way?  Everyone has his or her own cocktail of aptitudes, preferences, experiences, upbringing, education, and financial circumstances so why would you follow in someone's exact footsteps?  It’s extremely draining and futile to match someone else’s tracks.  And, most importantly, it’s NOT YOU!

One of my favorite quotes that has seen me through some pretty self-doubting (and envy-ridden) times is by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Do not go where the path may lead.  Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

 
There are many ways to get what you really want, but when you limit yourself to the paths others have taken, you are least likely to find personal fulfillment or your “sweet spot” as career experts like to say.  Someone else’s path of becoming a revered, published Harvard professor may have been an appropriate and even satisfying endeavor, but is it yours? 

We all tend to salivate over someone else’s degrees or talent or fame or salary, but I have found that I lose my ability to creatively invent my own niche when I am preoccupied envying someone else.  That preoccupation is actually fear that I’ll never be as good as that other person and therefore not be as successful. 

But this train of thought misses the point of career success entirely.  In most fields, the simple economic rule of supply and demand prevails.  We must meet a need that is not being met in some way.  Attempting to follow someone else's exact path does not fill an unmet need- that person is already supplying the need that is in demand.  Your job is to supply a need that no one has yet supplied and that only you, in your unique way, can offer.  And that, as Emerson said, is "leaving a trail."

G.R.O.W. Get Results the Organic Way

The term "organic" is certainly today's food buzz word, and rightly so.  But instead of thinking of the term merely in reference to your favorite yogurt, try thinking of it in career terms.  Organic growth specifically means that which is "characterized by continuous or natural development."   Growing your career organically translates to following your internal, natural inclinations and instincts.

For example, instead of looking to the managerial hierarchy within a corporation or organization to define your personal career goals, think internally.  In other words, envision what you actually want to be doing in the future years.  If the traditional hierarchy fits your plan, great;  but most likely it won't. 

Why?

Let's say you are a salesperson and love what you do:  sell.  You do this most of the day and you really enjoy it most of the time.  However, while you may thrive as a salesperson, if you start going up that organizational ladder you may find yourself completely incompetent as a manager.  And that's okay!  These two positions most likely involve many different functions and abilities.  Maybe managing more than selling gets you farther from what makes you tick, what motivates you.

Maybe instead of climbing the managerial vine within an organization, you stay within your preferred and proven function, but leap off into another environment where you have more earning potential or flexibility or whatever you value as a personal goal to achieve.  Who knows, even if you do stay within your current environment, maybe you eventually create a position for yourself that uses your proven abilities and talents to a greater degree.   Or (gulp!) have the courage to ask for that raise you are entitled to for doing what you do so well, instead of for the chance to move up to a greater salaried, managerial position.

Developing yourself on your own terms may seem slow, and less known ('cause who does THAT?)   Moreover, it may not be as immediately rewarding salary wise as say, moving in the most visible, linear way and moving to the next organizationally logical rung within your company.  But being honest with yourself and knowing what you do best is real.  It's sustainable.  It has long term possibilities for personal mobility and growth.  And, depending on the way you roll, it may be the only way you will remain happy, fulfilled and personally successful.

So try creating a more organic, locally grown approach to your career goals and see what happens.  And who knows, maybe you'll even find yourself eating better too... rifling through the farmer's market more than the Hostess aisle of the supermarket.

But let's not get crazy now!