Click below to hear this gem of a presentation. Remarkable words of wisdom from Brene Brown, author, professor, and self-described storyteller/researcher.
Enjoy!
-Katie
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
2.18.2013
Freedom From Perfection
"Well, you have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won."
-Glen Hansard, "Falling Slowly"
from the Once soundtrack
In case you were wondering, which you probably weren't but you'll hear about it anyway, there are always backstories to the stories that I post here. There's the wondering if I should post x, y or z to the general public. There's the factor of someone from high school (who I was always trying to impress) reading about how I now have one eye that crosses in and a right knee to go along with it. There's the chance that someone to whom I normally wouldn't divulge ANY personal information is now reading about how I've had my self-esteem in the gutter and have recently become concerned in the summer about my ailing bikini body.
Before posting my recent pumping iron with old people post, I had my husband read it first. I was actually just asking him to see if I was being offensive to older individuals. He didn't think so; in fact, he liked the post. But, as I was turning to leave the conversation he added, "if you don't mind telling everyone all that stuff about you."
And do you know how I responded, quite definitively in fact?
"Actually, I don't."
Revealing these flaws is my way of slowly freeing myself from the perfect image that I have, for years, tried to sustain. I am gradually crawling out of that cocoon of hiding my once (seemingly) fatal flaws and am now just becoming me, in all of my imperfections. I can laugh at the chinks in my armor, versus berating myself for having them. God knows they just keep accruing every year!
I'm not saying I never wear makeup or nice clothes, or never worry about how I look or sound or act. (I'm not perfect at showing my imperfections, after all.) But I am feeling free to reveal more vulnerability, because that is what everyone needs. We crave honesty from others. We need to be reminded that we are not supposed to be the airbrushed image in the magazines and online. We all have- or will have- dark circles and blemishes, wrinkles and age spots. And they don't have to be surgically corrected for us to be presentable.
We don't have all the answers and sometimes feel like we know nothing about anything. And that's just reality, not something to hide or be ashamed of.
As for our personalities, we need to have some of our "shortcomings" and "flaws" re-imagined as gifts. Whether we're talkative or quiet, imaginative or realistic, emotion-centered vs. fact-centered, open-ended or orderly, we need to remember that, when channeled well, these traits are beneficial and even vital to making the world go round.
Vulnerability. Freedom from perfection.
Isn't that a great place to start?
2.13.2013
Margaret Young: In Order of Importance
"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.
The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."
-Margaret Young, Vaudeville Comedienne, 1920's Jazz Singer
2.06.2013
Pumping Iron with Old People
Did your mother ever tell you, "Young Lady (or Man,) you need a serious attitude adjustment!"
Mine did, and, in truly redundant fashion, I now say the same exact thing to my kids. You'd think I'd come up with something a bit more creative, but, alas no.
It's just a vicious cycle, My Friend.
I'll admit, however, that there have been many instances in adulthood where I could have used my mother's admonishment to change my attitude. Because sometimes I forget that I am indeed "coppin' an a," as those of us 40 plussers used to say in the 80's.
(We were sooooo cool, Dude!!)
One recent instance of an attitude in need of adjustment was my work out situation. This past summer, as I lamented the demise of my bikini figure, I was also undergoing physical therapy on my knees. (Yup. Both of them.) Due to the fact that my right knee naturally turns ever-so-slightly inward, kind of like my right eye that ever-so-slightly crosses inward, (and no, that doesn't mean that I inadvertently just go around in circles) my body became really out of alignment. And that, in turn, meant that both of my knees would hurt every time I ran or did certain exercises. Which then meant that I had to figure out how to work out in a way that benefitted my knees, my health and my schedule. (Oh yes, and my ailing bikini bod.)
So, when my physical therapist told me that running for more than a mile was unwise, I decided immediately that I was totally screwed. That was my main form of exercise, after all. But, not one to give up on my situation so easily, my therapist then asked me if I belonged to a gym so I could weight train and use the elliptical machine, which would help my strength and alleviate my knee pain. No Siree, I proclaimed right then and there. No way was I going to join the nearby exclusive gym! I'd joined a similar one a couple of times before and I always felt like it was just too far away and a waste of time and money given the exorbitant initial membership fee and monthly rates. All for the sake of a hip vibe.
And that was the end of that discussion. Although I didn't exactly sulk out of my last appointment and was outwardly grateful for the help she'd given me, I did harrumpf a little to myself. I grumbled about how, now that I was getting older, my body just couldn't handle the simplest of things, like running.
Like I said, totally screwed- for life.
Fast forward a month later. I don't know when it hit me, but I suddenly remembered an option I had that I'd always dismissed: the recreation center. It was only five minutes away. It had really good machine weights, an elliptical, plus classes. And you don't need to pay a membership fee! Why, oh why, didn't I think of that sooner, I wondered.
But in actuality I knew the answer to that question. I'd dismissed the notion many years earlier because I didn't want to work out in a nondescript place with a bunch of old people, since that's who mainly goes to the rec center gym. It's completely ridiculous I know. Talk about coppin' a 'tude!
However, now that I've changed my attitude I've discovered there are so many benefits, besides saving money, to working out in the community rec center with old people. Now, let me just clarify that by "old" I mean 80's and above. (Because, at age 42, you've got to be careful about who you're calling old.) In fact, I'm actually working out at the rec center quite a bit now, especially since the weather is so cold. I won't say I'm quite ready for bathing suit season, but I'm getting there!
So what are the benefits, you might well ask, of working out with the twilight generation? Here are my top five reasons:
1. I can wear reading glasses while on the elliptical and not feel embarrassed.
I actually wear them to read because of my slightly converging right eye problem, not because of an aging vision problem, but still, no one there judges me. It's possible they can't see me very clearly from where they are sitting five feet away, but that's neither here nor there.
2. These old people are clean!
When the signs say, "please wipe down your machine after every use" they actually DO IT. This results not only in fewer germs but also in no smell, which I can definitely appreciate.
Of course, there doesn't seem to be a ton of sweating going on either, so I'm sure that contributes to the fresh air. Which leads me to...
3. No grunting, egregious panting, or other outrageously loud noises interrupt my workout.
No one appears to be going for the gold as far as pumping iron is concerned. If someone starts grunting I'd actually call an ambulance.
4. I get to hear about the latest offerings on PBS.
Masterpiece Theatre and the like are all the buzz at this gym. Thankfully no one has spilled the beans on Downton Abbey, since I remain most pitifully on Season One.
5. I feel quite young, trim and athletic.
Of course, I try to overlook the fact that it's all relative. After all, I'm using the leg press next to Millie, who just turned 90 and is more interested in discussing her needlepoint project than in burning calories. (Truly, I am not making that up.) But heck, she's 90 and she's in a gym! I think that's awesome.
So there you have it. I solved a big problem by making a slight adjustment in my attitude.
Which begs the question: if you adjusted your attitude about certain things, what could you accomplish?
Mine did, and, in truly redundant fashion, I now say the same exact thing to my kids. You'd think I'd come up with something a bit more creative, but, alas no.
It's just a vicious cycle, My Friend.
I'll admit, however, that there have been many instances in adulthood where I could have used my mother's admonishment to change my attitude. Because sometimes I forget that I am indeed "coppin' an a," as those of us 40 plussers used to say in the 80's.
(We were sooooo cool, Dude!!)
One recent instance of an attitude in need of adjustment was my work out situation. This past summer, as I lamented the demise of my bikini figure, I was also undergoing physical therapy on my knees. (Yup. Both of them.) Due to the fact that my right knee naturally turns ever-so-slightly inward, kind of like my right eye that ever-so-slightly crosses inward, (and no, that doesn't mean that I inadvertently just go around in circles) my body became really out of alignment. And that, in turn, meant that both of my knees would hurt every time I ran or did certain exercises. Which then meant that I had to figure out how to work out in a way that benefitted my knees, my health and my schedule. (Oh yes, and my ailing bikini bod.)
So, when my physical therapist told me that running for more than a mile was unwise, I decided immediately that I was totally screwed. That was my main form of exercise, after all. But, not one to give up on my situation so easily, my therapist then asked me if I belonged to a gym so I could weight train and use the elliptical machine, which would help my strength and alleviate my knee pain. No Siree, I proclaimed right then and there. No way was I going to join the nearby exclusive gym! I'd joined a similar one a couple of times before and I always felt like it was just too far away and a waste of time and money given the exorbitant initial membership fee and monthly rates. All for the sake of a hip vibe.
And that was the end of that discussion. Although I didn't exactly sulk out of my last appointment and was outwardly grateful for the help she'd given me, I did harrumpf a little to myself. I grumbled about how, now that I was getting older, my body just couldn't handle the simplest of things, like running.
Like I said, totally screwed- for life.
Fast forward a month later. I don't know when it hit me, but I suddenly remembered an option I had that I'd always dismissed: the recreation center. It was only five minutes away. It had really good machine weights, an elliptical, plus classes. And you don't need to pay a membership fee! Why, oh why, didn't I think of that sooner, I wondered.
But in actuality I knew the answer to that question. I'd dismissed the notion many years earlier because I didn't want to work out in a nondescript place with a bunch of old people, since that's who mainly goes to the rec center gym. It's completely ridiculous I know. Talk about coppin' a 'tude!
However, now that I've changed my attitude I've discovered there are so many benefits, besides saving money, to working out in the community rec center with old people. Now, let me just clarify that by "old" I mean 80's and above. (Because, at age 42, you've got to be careful about who you're calling old.) In fact, I'm actually working out at the rec center quite a bit now, especially since the weather is so cold. I won't say I'm quite ready for bathing suit season, but I'm getting there!
So what are the benefits, you might well ask, of working out with the twilight generation? Here are my top five reasons:
1. I can wear reading glasses while on the elliptical and not feel embarrassed.
I actually wear them to read because of my slightly converging right eye problem, not because of an aging vision problem, but still, no one there judges me. It's possible they can't see me very clearly from where they are sitting five feet away, but that's neither here nor there.
2. These old people are clean!
When the signs say, "please wipe down your machine after every use" they actually DO IT. This results not only in fewer germs but also in no smell, which I can definitely appreciate.
Of course, there doesn't seem to be a ton of sweating going on either, so I'm sure that contributes to the fresh air. Which leads me to...
3. No grunting, egregious panting, or other outrageously loud noises interrupt my workout.
No one appears to be going for the gold as far as pumping iron is concerned. If someone starts grunting I'd actually call an ambulance.
4. I get to hear about the latest offerings on PBS.
Masterpiece Theatre and the like are all the buzz at this gym. Thankfully no one has spilled the beans on Downton Abbey, since I remain most pitifully on Season One.
5. I feel quite young, trim and athletic.
Of course, I try to overlook the fact that it's all relative. After all, I'm using the leg press next to Millie, who just turned 90 and is more interested in discussing her needlepoint project than in burning calories. (Truly, I am not making that up.) But heck, she's 90 and she's in a gym! I think that's awesome.
So there you have it. I solved a big problem by making a slight adjustment in my attitude.
Which begs the question: if you adjusted your attitude about certain things, what could you accomplish?
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