Say, Say, Say...

Make someone's day.

Inc. Magazine's Jeff Haden has some great words to say to others.

Enjoy!
-Katie

Letters of Love

A daughter gives a moving tribute to her father, from whom she learned the beauty of the handwritten note.
Enjoy!

-Katie

Lakshmi Pratury: The lost art of letter-writing

Writing Your Way Past Fear

Journalling in the morning, I must say, is a marvelous way to jump start the day.

Now, if you've never kept a journal, you might assume that journal writing is only for people attempting to write profound treatises on life, love, and, I don't know, the deafening sound of their inevitable mortality mercilessly marching toward them. (For propriety's sake I won't mention where I just pulled that out of.)

On the contrary, journalling is mostly a great way to get rid of JUNK.

Yes, mon ami. Junk.

A journal provides an individual such as myself a place to transfer and organize all of the bits and pieces of schtuff that are taking up space in my brain. From to-do lists and frustrations to memories I want to keep someplace safer than my cerebral cortex, my journal- nothing more than a simple spiral notebook- is a welcoming, catch-all repository. I may end up creating little illustrations to go along with the words I've jotted down. Or perhaps I'll go crazy and add in a couple of insights!

Now why didn't I think of that?

Let me point out, however, that I don't try and make an entry every day like I used to; only when I feel like writing something on paper vs. pecking out letters on a keyboard. However, I find journalling to be kind of like going to the gym: it always feels good when I do it and then immediately wonder why I don't do it every day.

That's how I felt after one morning's journalling session. That morning I'd woken up before dawn feeling overwhelmed, so I rolled over and grabbed a notebook and pen from my nightstand. I felt like I needed to take out some major mental trash that, for some reason, had been piling up faster than the strands of no-longer-functioning Christmas lights in our living room.

Not our lights.

While most of the time I have no format for my journal writing- it's mainly just stream-of-consciousness- that morning was different. I realized, as I jotted down my pet grievances, that I needed to get to the bottom of some of these issues that were weighing me down. This was due to the fact that I noticed an all-too-familiar theme cropping up:

fear.


Not big, monstrous fears (thankfully) but rather subtle little fears that were thorny enough to keep me apprehensive and stuck in neutral. And naturally, when one is stuck, there is a lack of movement forward. And when there's no movement forward, back-ups occur.

I knew I needed to uncover what was going on that was causing my back-up so I tried a writing exercise that always helps me unravel my tangled ball of frustrations. (Again, Christmas lights come to mind... which makes me think I'm seeing yet another theme here besides fear....)


This fill-in-the-blank exercise is quite simple, actually, and I thought I'd share it with you.

You don't even need to have a journal to do it, just a piece of paper and a writing utensil.

Are you ready?

Write the words, "If I weren't so afraid of ________I would ______."

Complete the sentence as many times as you can. Just let your mind go from one thought to another.

Here's are some examples:

If I weren't so afraid of making a mistake I would submit that proposal.

If I weren't so afraid of hearing "no" I would ask to collaborate with xyz organization.

If I weren't so afraid of saying the wrong thing I would initiate important conversations.

If I weren't so afraid of getting hurt/criticized I would dare to write that book.

As always, after I completed the exercise I felt so much better afterward. I could specifically see where I needed to take a more active than passive approach in various areas of my life. And because I could see what actions needed to happen, I took a couple of important and long overdue steps.

So when you feel stuck or frustrated, try this exercise. Or create your own version.  It will help you dig deeper and get to the root cause of your problem. Writing down what troubles us can eventually help us name what is truly going on, and how we need to take ownership of our circumstances. And journalling, especially in the morning, reduces the overwhelming tangled mess of emotional blockage into a few actionable tasks for the day. Once you get all of the junk- the whining, complaining, Pity Party 2.0- all of a sudden your brain has "space" to determine what needs to happen so everything can start flowing again.

Speaking of flow, I need to get a new notebook, since I just filled up the last one. 'Cause apparently there were lots of pity parties going on.

****

Photo Credits: Creative Commons
Pencil: Pinksherbet
Design for a flying machine by Leonardo da Vinci
Traffic Jam

The Power of Music

Check out this holiday video of the amazing US Air Force Band.
I'll bet you can't help but smile.

Enjoy!
-Katie

Musical Surprise at the National Air and Space Museum

Words to Live By: John Lennon

“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.” 

― John Lennon

Words to Live By: Chuck Palahniuk

“The first step - especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money - the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.” 

― Chuck Palahniuk

Writer

Choose Well, Live Well

In my recent post, "Listen Up!", I extolled the benefits of listening to the needs of your mind and body and how that translates to listening better to others' needs.

My sister, Sara Gorman, is a living example of this mindful approach to life.  She was diagnosed several years ago, at age 26, with lupus, an incurable autoimmune disorder.  For the first couple of years her symptoms were especially severe and pain wracked her body daily. However, Sara gradually discovered that by constantly listening to what her body needed, she could greatly reduce Lupus activity.

But she didn't stop there. Sara has been helping other people pay attention to their needs ever since she wrote her book, Despite Lupus: How to Live Well with a Chronic Illness, back in 2009. She speaks to organizations about how to manage chronic illnesses by making healthy (but not always easy) choices in exercise, diet, sleep and stress reduction.

Sara also keeps an ongoing blog that details, in a very positive, energizing way, how she manages to live with Lupus every day. She openly recounts her lessons learned, her ongoing struggles and her successes over the disease. And while I have been faithfully following her blog like a good sister/reader for several years now, she never ceases to amaze me with her insights into what it means to choose well, every single day.

The following post was one of those insights.

Enjoy!
-Katie

Despite Lupus: Choosing Well

Words to Live By: Gandhi

"The best way to find yourself, 

is to lose yourself in the service of others."

— Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

HELP! What if I Want to Do It All?

This is the question I get from so many people, but especially from students, who feel that focusing on one single path in life just isn't going to satisfy their hunger for a variety of interests.

But I always have an answer ready for them, which is: If I can settle on a career path I love, so can they.

I've always had so many interests that fascinate me with so little time to pursue them, and I still sometimes wonder why days couldn't be at least three hours longer. So how did I decide on a career path that could satisfy this hunger? Especially one that had a lot to sink my teeth into?

Here are the top five reasons why my career path (which, as you know, involves helping others build theirs) works for my varied interests:

1. Career coaching has loads of variety inherently built in.  My days and weeks vary quite a bit, dividing my time between writing and reading and coaching and speaking. Plus I get to work with fascinating people of all different ages, backgrounds, locations, interests... and career fields, of course. Believe it or not, I feel as if I'm satisfying the explorer in me by living vicariously through my clients.

2. It requires me to solve a variety of complex problems that are similar in nature but never the same. This gets to the heart of what my brain needs to feel stimulated: I need lots of problems to solve that involve people. And I'm good at it too, which is probably why I like it! Success makes everyone feel energized.

3. I decided that the best way for me to be able to experience multiple interests in life was to have my own service-oriented business.  This means that when I want to gradually shift my focus I can, without feeling as if I'm totally losing ground. If I had a manufacturing business, for example, my freedom would be a bit more restricted, as changes would mean wasting inventory.

Another entrepreneurial bonus? Having my own business allows me to quench my thirst for novelty, such that I can invent new ways to do things- and incorporate more interests- like writing, travel, research, photography, art, and whatever else piques my interest. Of course, I don't incorporate everything all the time, because I don't need to.  It's all about prioritizing my interests, rather than trying to do too much and creating a piece-meal, random mess of crisscrossing paths. Which leads me to the next point...

4. Finding an essence is key. I got to the essence of what I enjoyed most about my top interests. Once I looked at all of my seemingly disparate fascinations, I realized most of them centered around psychology, human behavior and personal stories.  Career choices, aptitudes and journeys inhabit the bulk of my work, so it's a perfect match for me. It's like penning a symphony titled, "Variations On a Theme."

5. Wants aren't needs. I realized that there are certain things I like to do and certain things I need to do. In fact, this discernment is key in prioritizing your interests. For example, I like to paint, but one painting project once or twice a year will pretty much do the trick. And singing is another passion of mine, which I really enjoy doing. Performing about once a week plus light rehearsing seems to be a good frequency; however, I found that doing it everyday, on a professional level, proved to be a bit much.

So as far as the needs are concerned: I need to read- a lot.  And reading human interest stories and career journeys (mostly found in biographies) is just something that I do for fun, whether I'm paid to read them or not.  I'm truly drawn to this type of information gathering. My other needs: to write, share ideas and to help people on a personal level. If I don't accomplish these things very regularly it's difficult for me to feel like I'm making a difference.

So you might be wondering, are there other career fields out there-entrepreneurial or not- that have variety built in?

The answer is a resounding "Yes!"

But...

All career paths require the person with multiple interests to think and plan creatively. Beyond finding-or creating- a single dynamic career path, satisfying a variety of interests entails carving out special time to do important activities that really don't need to be done every day, all day, on a professional level, but that still need a place in your life.

And that's okay, because your ideal career, no matter how varied, will never satisfy everything on your ever-evolving list of interests. But it can, if crafted with careful consideration, satisfy the fascinations you want to grow and develop the most.

Photo credit: Creative commons via Flickr

Words to Live By: Andre Agassi

“Remember this. Hold on to this. 

This is the only perfection there is, the perfection of helping others. 

This is the only thing we can do that has any lasting meaning. This is why we're here. 

To make each other feel safe.”

-Tennis champion, Andre Agassi

from his autobiography, Open

Reject a Job Offer?! Maybe.

From salary.com: A very informative article to help you stay objective in deciding whether or not to take that job offer.

-Katie

Consider This

Create Your Space: Cloey Style!

For this edition of "Create Your Space," my dog, Cloey Margaret, will share her wisdom.

That's me and my lovely design

Ever wanted a space to call your own? 
With your own personal touch?
As my mom always says, it's important to celebrate your individuality.Your space should reflect YOU, so make it your own!

Here's what you'll need to get started:

1) A sign.
My human sister made mine for me, since I can't write. I thought it was pretty good.

My Sign

2) A corner of the house.  The kitchen is a good place, as there are many design tools in the kitchen, such as food and paper products.

Me looking for more design tools

3) Pops of Color:

*One bag of lettuce
*One head of lettuce 

*One small pumpkin, preferably freshly plucked from your local pumpkin patch.

4) The Neutrals:

*One old bone
*A couple of napkins
*One loaf of expensive, organic, 12 grain bread

The Design Process

Once you have your sign and your corner, it's time to make you mark!

Step 1: Forage for the above materials.

Cruise the counters. Check the kitchen sink if necessary.  This is where I discovered a treasure trove of items, such as those listed above. (Mom didn't think I'd get stuff in the sink! Ha ha!)

If you are too short to reach counters and sinks, I suggest you hire a Great Dane.

Step 2: Color me beautiful.

First off is the head of lettuce. Once you've shredded it sufficiently, make sure it's strewn all over. 

Caught in the Act! 
Me With the Head of Lettuce

Now for the bag of lettuce. This one's a bit trickier for those of us not sporting opposable thumbs. So open it with your fangs and shake it like you mean it!!!

Greens are all the rage in decorating right now, so go wild with them. But please, spare the label on the bag if at all possible, as you never know if they'll be a product placement opportunity that comes along. (I'm hoping the magazine, "Dog Fancy," will be contacting me soon.)

And oh, that cute little pumpkin. Such adorable, orangey goodness!!
The color orange, which I'm not sure I can see anyway, is the final bright hue to incorporate. Make sure it gets adequately annihilated and balanced among the green.

Mmmm...those pumpkin seeds are good eatin'!

Step 3: But don't forget the neutrals!

Napkins can basically serve as confetti. Shred and sprinkle them accordingly.

A bone anchors the vignette with some weight, and gives an appearance that you do indeed gnaw on it from time to time, as opposed to those other things you shouldn't. Which reminds me...

The loaf of bread: be free with your beige carbohydrate of choice and begin chewing indiscriminately. Please note that the entire loaf might get consumed during the design process, and that's okay. Designers need nourishment while they work.

Step 4: Achieving the "Rampage Look" 

Please ensure you do lots of frenetic tearing, shredding and spewing. You want your onlookers to know that you are an edgy designer, one who isn't afraid of not only pilfering a few odds and ends to achieve the look you desire, but also one who doesn't mind getting down and dirty with design.

And it can indicate you're a just a tad irked that they left you at home.

Step 5: Weathering the "What the ;*@# did you do, Cloey?!!!!" reaction to your masterpiece.

Give your best "I am sooo sssorrrryyyy!!!! it will never ever happen again!!!!" look.

Can you feel my remorse? It's palpable...

And just remember two things:

Great artists are always misunderstood during their lifetime 

and

That loaf of bread will always be worth it.

Could You? Would You?

Via Flickr

...walk away from millions of dollars?
Just curious.

-Katie

NFL football player considers happiness factor

Keep Those Juices Flowing...

The creative ones!
http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/229424?newsletter=true

Words to Live By: William James

"I have often thought that the best way to define a man's character would be to seek out the particular mental or moral attitude in which, 

when it came upon him, he felt himself most deeply and intensely active and alive. 

At such moments there is a voice inside which speaks and says: 

"This is the real me!"

-William James, 

philosopher/psychologist,

in a letter to his wife, 

Alice Gibbons James (1878)

Office Space Revisted

What if your office looked like this?  Would it change the way you viewed your job?
Just curious...
-Katie

Google Tokyo

"You'll Never Walk Alone"

I performed this classic song at a cabaret many years ago and it remains one of my favorites. Introduced in 1945 by writers Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein II for the musical, Carousel, the song has been performed by a wide range of singers, from Judy Garland to Elvis Presley to Renee Fleming. It has a sweet, simple, timeless appeal, and, dare I say, songs like this just aren't written anymore.

I post these lyrics for all of you who are having a rough time right now, and particularly for my friend who is battling cancer. She goes in for major surgery tomorrow and I wish her nothing but "golden skies" and an amazing recovery. 

-Katie

"You'll Never Walk Alone"

When you walk through a storm

Hold your head up high

And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm

Is a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of the lark

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone

When you walk through a storm

Hold your head up high

And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm

Is a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of the lark

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone.

-Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II

Create Yourself: Shane Coyczan

Good to know there are still people out there who dare to do something fresh and authentic.

Enjoy!
-Katie

p.s. Please be advised before clicking on video link below of the mild, brief profanity

Remember

Our Days, Our Choices

"At the end of the day, it’s our choices, and the energy and passion with which we follow up on them, that make our lives successful."

-Peter Buffett 

composer,

musician, philanthropist and  

author of Life is What You Make It

Who's On Your Dream Team?

As an entrepreneur and manager of a one-woman shop, it's easy for me to feel isolated. This could prove especially debilitating for my business since I get the bulk of my energy from talking to other people. As you can imagine, working in a vacuum has its limitations.

Fortunately, I have many great friends, colleagues and general go-to people to keep me thriving. After all, a healthy support system is key to surviving any business or job. And I recognize that my greatest successes come when I connect with the motliest of crews: people from a variety of fields and perspectives.  In fact, the more diverse the personalities and thinkers, the better the collaboration. Katya Andresen, President and COO/Incoming CEO of ePals, has compiled the ideal confluence of minds and personality styles needed for great problem solving and implementation.

Who needs to be on your Dream Team?

A Fun "To Do" This Week

Rediscover the curiosity of your childhood by asking yourself:

What do I need to learn because it's just too interesting to resist?
What in nature fascinates me?
What behavior just makes me want to stare?
What do I want to touch? Feel? Experience?

Who do I want to play (interact) with the most?
Who or what makes me laugh?

Where do I feel safest?
Where do my ideas come from?

How can I experiment?
How can I make something beautiful? Useful? Funny? Scary? Colorful?



And most importantly, don't be afraid to keep asking yourself and others,

 "Why?"

Words to Live By: Mary Oliver

I simply do not distinguish between work and play.

-Mary Oliver 

Dark, Damp, Dreary Days Be Gone!

This past week has been a wet one here in Washington, DC.  For five days we've endured dark gray skies, downpours, drizzles and steady, relentless rain that's left us soaked to the bone. And now, finally, as I type these words, I'm doing what I've been aching to do for the past five days: to sit down with a nice cup of tea, wrap myself in a blanket and enjoy the fact that I don't have to go anywhere.

  

Without the sun's bright rays to bathe the landscape in light, everything has not only looked darker, but felt darker too.

Can you hear me that when it rains and shines, 

It’s just a state of mind, 

Can you hear me, can you hear me?

                                                     
                                                          - The Beatles, "Rain"

Oh, those sunny days...

While rain or shine might not be a tiebreaker for some people, I know that my mind and body actually do function better when it's sunny outside. Any time clouds rule the skies day after day I typically don't have as much energy as I normally do.  I don't feel like exercising or doing much of anything, especially outside.  I wouldn't say that during a period such as this I'm necessarily depressed (at least in a clinical sense, as  major depressive episodes are much more severe and debilitating, and can be chronic.) However, rain and clouds do temporarily dampen my spirit and negatively impact my mood and energy.

And, as you know, feeling lethargic stinks. (Except when you're on vacation, of course.)

So when the sun hides itself behind thick, dark clouds, particularly for days on end, I know it's time to actively elevate my mood by other means than sunlight.  Through research and good ole trial and error, I have uncovered numerous ways to up the endorphins and potentially increase serotonin levels. I have discovered what activities can give my mind the little boost it needs to kickstart it into gear.  And the more I learn about new, effective methods, the more I can combat the blues from all different angles.

Here are My top energy and mood boosters:

Gear up and
get outside!no matter what the weather (natural light is natural light, after all)

read a good book,

talk to an encouraging someone,

PAINT (anything),

journal,

take pictures of your favorite things

make something for somebody (yourself included),

I made this fun brooch

and decorated a mirror. 'Cause why not?!

Watch guinea pigs play,

bake COOKIES for someone,

(Or make your dog bake them for you.)

Cook and Eat a Nourishing 
Breakfast, 

Chef John Macpherson

Look at pictures of baby goats,

(It does it for me every time.)

DOODLE on your front door step,

doodled by Sophie McGale

indulge in a fun magazine,

Did I mention, "Watch guinea pigs?"

look at pictures that make you smile,

buy flowers- or cut them from your garden- and arrange them in a vase,

s-t-r-e-t-c-h,

meditate,
listen to fun music,
dance, 

MOVE! run, hike, walk, lift weights

Go through pictures from great trips

complete a simple task like a load of laundry or a sink full of dishes,  

('cause hey, you're in a bad mood anyway 
and getting it done will make you feel as if you've accomplished something)

or perhaps... just chew on something 
that makes a funny squeaky sound.

Fortunately, one of the benefits of being a career coach is that I am constantly discovering and accumulating effective mental health tools for my clients, since a healthy mind serves as both an essential building block and a happy result of creating one's ideal career path. 

from Useful Guy (creative commons)

Having a handy toolbox full of mental health boosters empowers us to manage our mood before it manages us. We can't always control what the next day at work might entail, who or what might puncture our enthusiasm, whether or not Company Z will love us in our next interview, or if the sun will choose to hide or shine. We can, however, remember what tools pick us up mentally, even if by just a little. Sometimes that little boost is all we need to get moving again.

*********
Need some more ideas?  I often refer people to the works of Dr. David Burns, a pioneer in cognitive behavioral therapy who created powerful steps to take when feeling depressed. In particular, his book, Feeling Good, written over 40 years ago, is still incredibly relevant today.

Most importantly, if you are feeling consistently down, depressed, anxious and/or sad, don't try to go it alone!!  (You know how I feel about tackling big issues with the whole Do It Yourself Method- it stinks!) Talk to a mental health specialist, particularly a provider who comes recommended by others. And don't hesitate to ask for help and support from friends and family as well. You owe it to yourself to have lots of really good days to look forward to.

Test Drive Your Career

Flickr

I'm always advising my clients to test drive their potential new career before jumping in with both feet.  In this Forbes article, Liz Elfman does a nice job of articulating how to do just that.
Enjoy!

-Katie

"Ways to Test Drive a New Career"

Words to Live By: Bill Watterson

"You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure."

-Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes

Kenyon College Commencement

May 20, 1990

Making a Difference in the World: Mulala Yousafzai

Like many girls at age 16, I worried about boys, my grades and what I wore. I badly wanted to make the cheerleading team, and fretted over where I would go to college in two years. I cried when I didn't make the lead in the school play and secretly craved being part of the "in" crowd.

In short, life felt rather grim at the time.

This young lady, Mulala Yousafzai, age 16, is fighting for the education rights of young women and for peace in her homeland of Pakistan. She miraculously survived an assassination attempt by the Taliban for her vocal and very public opposition.

Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Watch her interview with Jon Stewart here.

Wrong Career?

Wikimedia

Love this post from Betsy Mikel!

http://blog.brazencareerist.com/2013/08/07/what-to-do-when-you-realize-you-chose-the-wrong-career/

Peter Buffett On Success

A New Definition

"In my view, success should be defined with reference to the substance of a person’s achievement. What is someone actually accomplishing? Is she helping others? Is he living up to his own unique potential? Is there passion and originality in her approach to life and work? Is there fundamental value in what he’s trying to achieve?

I believe that true success comes from within. It is a function of who we are and what we do. It emerges from the mysterious chemistry of our abilities and passion and hard work and commitment. True success is something we earn privately and whose value we determine for ourselves. The outside world can reward us with money, but it cannot anoint us with this deeper and more personal kind of success. The success we define for ourselves is the treasure that cannot be tarnished or taken away."

-Peter Buffett 

composer,

musician, philanthropist and  

author of Life is What You Make It

For Mr. Buffett's full article click here.

Designing Gardens and Ditching Grievances

Not our yard, yet.

My husband and I recently hired a landscape architect to help us with our front yard, as landscaping is definitely outside (excuse the pun) our realm of expertise. We decided that, by hiring an expert, we'd end up saving money in the end because we'd avoid making a string of expensive errors in our planting efforts. As I've mentioned before, I've come to realize that small, DIY mishaps add up to much more than the relatively meager fee of hiring an experienced designer in the beginning.

Unfortunately, not our piece of cake

So, since we'd worked with an interior designer several years ago, I assumed this exterior design process would be a piece of cake for my husband and I to tackle. After all, most decisions regarding home design had been left to me, as my better half never really had an opinion about anything decorative- save for the color of his office walls.

In other words, I'd been blessed with carte blanche and all was dandy.

Until now.

The Mister, it turns out, does indeed want to have a say about what the yard looks like. (I know! A man, wanting to be in charge of his lawn?  Who knew?)

I first smelled trouble brewing when I began showing him landscape design photos. Suddenly all of these opinions began to surface, like:

"No, no, no, no... All of these houses have flagstone! I don't like flagstone. You have to live in a mansion to make that work."

and

"I can't stand topiaries. They look like Poodles."

Hmmm.... This was going to be a bit harder than I'd thought.

???

A Democratic Union, I Presume

As you are aware, I'm always touting the importance of appreciating multiple perspectives in my blog and work, so I'd hate to be hypocritical and dismiss my beloved's paving preferences. Therefore, in true democratic form, I scoured the internet and photographed neighbors' yards for inspirational designs that suited both of our tastes.

Unfortunately, the morning the landscape architect was scheduled to come for our initial consultation my husband and I remained at a standstill, and neither of us were budging. (In case you haven't noticed, there's a lot of that going on around here in Washington, D.C..)

The bottom line was this: although I did like the look of topiaries, I could certainly live without them; however, I really did like flagstone, and I felt as if someone- I won't name names- could at least entertain that possibility and give in a little too. And when that didn't happen, I began throwing out my own opinions, like:

"WHO doesn't like flagstone?  It's flat! It's gray! It's a stone! What's not to like?!"

So here we were, at odds about rocks.

Unfortunately, Not our walkway-yet.

Cue the designer, breezing up our front walkway. As soon as I saw her I came flying out the front door, open laptop in hand, all in a dither. Confusing exasperation with excitement, she exclaimed, "Well! I see you are ready to go!" And that's when I breathed out, unleashing a torrent of grumblings about how my other half was hellbent against flagstone.

Cue my husband, who tromped out too, expecting, like me, that our expert landscaper would settle the matter right then and there.

Much to our surprise, our skillful designer did nothing of the sort. Instead she simply responded, "Well, we really don't need to worry about the materials we are going to use until we get the design in place. Whether to use flagstone is really a question that we're a long way away from asking."

Oh... right.

Well, that put an end to that. (Maybe she should go to Capitol Hill and work her magic there too.)

First Things First

Of all people, I really should have known better. How many times had I delivered the same kind of message to my eager and sometimes panic-stricken career clients about designing what you need to have in a career, and then thinking about the how. (Will I need grad school? To change cities? OMG!!)  Yet, here I was, making a flagrant design error myself: I was putting the cart before the horse, trying to implement what we hadn't even yet designed!

But this incident reminded me of what we all do, which is this: we concern ourselves first with what's most visible (read: public), difficult and fraught with emotion, without first taking inventory of all of those necessary but less visible considerations.  Like worrying about flagstone walkways instead of crucial details such growing zones, space constraints, hours of sunlight, and soil content. In certain cases even budget talks (how's that for emotionally charged?) can take a backseat until that first design draft is complete. Then the line item choices can be decided.

When it comes to the career decision process, most of us focus on those things which are most tangible and visible, such as perfecting our resumes and aiming for hefty salaries and fancy job titles. But this is actually backward, because we first have to take into consideration the less visible, but foundational parts of career choice, such as abilities, interests, priorities and The Big One: what duties the career mainly entails.  Otherwise, we make poor and costly decisions by using inadequate information.

Exceptional design begins by gathering data, answering the who, what, where, when and why of the problem at hand.  Then comes the solution building, which incorporates all of the vital pieces of information now at hand.

Parameters? Check.
Specs? Check.
Priorities? Triple check.

Then it's time to determine how you are going to implement this great new design.

Hungry yet?

Your Big Decisions? Piece of Cake!

So, when you find yourself worrying about a big decision, ask yourself this:

Are you putting the cart before the horse?  Are you essentially worrying about something too far down the road, such as how you are going to ice the cake without knowing what kind of cake you want to make in the first place?

Or, in our case, are you arguing about flagstone when it may not be relevant in the end anyway? If so, take a step back. Determine, objectively, if you have the information you need. Most importantly, get the help of a good designer. Because chances are, a great design will also provide you with the how.