Fame, Fortune and Dreaming Big

By the time I hit the ripe old age of 16, my ambitions had taken on a life of their own.  Every dream career I concocted was infinitely possible and grandly desirable, especially when the career field was fraught with stiff competition and low success rates among those who chose to pursue it. 

Queen of the Long Shots was I. 

"I'm gonna live forever..."

Defying 
Gravity

And what was to stop me from dreaming big? I had the larger-than-life 80's hairdo going on, why not have the dreams to go with it?

As I got older, however, the lack of specificity in all those dreams became increasingly apparent. My 16 year-young, chock-full-o'-hairspray self had somehow failed to address the specifics of how and even why I wanted to live out those dreams. (There must be some study out there linking heavy hairspray use to poor long-term planning, but I haven't come across it yet.)

Once in a while I ponder that journey from 16 to my, uh, age now, and consider how those youthful, nebulous dreams didn't really fade, but rather evolved into a higher level of sophistication. For example, I recall that in my early days money and fame were always an integral part of my dreams of success. Of course, I never outwardly admitted that belief because I considered myself a good, conscientious person, and a good, conscientious person shouldn't care about things like that, right? But I'll admit today that those less-than-noble ambitions were infinitely present, always lurking in the back of my mind like gauntlets I'd thrown down to hold myself accountable.

Now that I'm able to look back and reflect- and hindsight is 20/20, of course- it's easy for me to see how money and fame were the most accessible ambitions to shoot for, especially since I didn't have any specific goals up my sleeve at the time.

Ah, Mr. Robin Leach.
I hope that vest didn't cost you
 a fortune.

Of course, the constant reminders in society extolling the importance of celebrity and wealth made them easy targets. 'Twas the 80's, and everyone (that I was paying attention to, anyway) seemed to value fortune-building over character-building.

But ultimately I recognized that my career ambitions came down to my own choosing. I could listen to how society-at-large defined success. And I could choose to set standards so high that I could never live up to those ever-elusive dreams.

Madonna: before 
her blonde ambition
took over

On the other hand, I could choose to make my dreams clearer and more thoughtful and personal. I could choose to dig deeper and uncover what truly motivated me, beyond material rewards and far-reaching recognition. I could broaden my concept of success while also breaking down goals into easier-to-attain steps.

Once I was able to look beyond these familiar trappings I discovered how much richer dreams can be when they come from an authentic place, born out everything I believe in and need to do. Like expressing my talent for the love of it, making a positive impact in people's lives, and striving for solid financial health versus enormous wealth.

My notion of fame thankfully has evolved as well, maturing from an insatiable appetite for widespread recognition to a yearning for broader social impact. I find that I'm now driven by a need to mobilize my expertise and knowledge to tackle career conventions that are in desperate need of repair. But I'm also equally invigorated when I've helped one person create a successful new game plan for their life or enabled them to use their talents in a brand new way. These individual partnerships have rewarded me in ways I'd never imagined.

But then again, are we ever able to accurately imagine what will drive us in the future? Maybe not. Or maybe, just maybe, if we can come to terms with who we are, what we believe in, and what we're good at, we might catch a glimpse at what our future holds.

Racing Against Time?

Here in the frozen tundra, also known as Washington, D.C., it's been nice to have some indoor diversions. The 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi have dutifully entertained our family over the past couple of weeks, especially when frigid temperatures and multiple snow days have made it difficult to find something to do besides go sledding, make snowmen and lament yet another day off of school.

(That would be my husband and I lamenting, not my children.)

One theme at the center of the Olympic games is time. Athletes are either racing against it or making the most of the precious competition period they've been allotted. It's this high-stakes, temporal element, along with unbelievable athleticism, that provides us onlookers with a thrilling experience.

But time is tricky when it comes to discovering your career. Fast answers aren't always the best answers. Yes, of course, you have to pay the bills, so deciding on a job can certainly be a time sensitive task. But, more often than not, people are actually too hasty in their career choices, in all stages of life.

Ambitious young high school students don't want to hesitate in their response to an adult's question of "So, Young Lady/Man, what are your career plans?" Therefore many come up with whatever career sounds the most exciting and admirable.

(I myself could've won multiple awards for the doozies I drummed up.)

Then there are the older kids, students attending expensive colleges, (wait- isn't that a bit redundant?) who race to declare a major lest they appear to be wasting their parents money. However, according to the abysmal stats on graduation rates, length of time in school and limited use of selected majors post-graduation, it appears that those declared majors might as well have been chosen during a rousing drinking game of Quarters.

Grown-ups continue the trend of hasty choices as well, making career decisions reflecting their own social pressures: the proverbial rat race. Many adults fall prey to keeping up with their colleagues, racing to the next level, even if they don't know why they want to get there in the first place.

You know the old saying, "I don't know where I'm goin' but I'm sure making good time?"  I consider that the official motto for the rat race. And when asked the question, "So, how's your job going?" few people dare to be honest and say, "Well, it's okay, but I feel as if I need to explore other options more in line with my abilities."

Even those embarking on retirement feel pressure to have a response to "So, what are you going to do with all of that time on your hands?" I'd wager that, at their retirement party, 10 out of 10 employees prefer to say, "Play golf" as opposed to "I'm going to work with a coach to do some interest and talent exploration."

Talk about a party buzz killer!

In other words, it's marvelously expeditious- if not expected- to make a career or life decision just so you can say you've made a decision. 

But it takes courage to take the time to wonder, especially out loud, what you need to do to satisfy your talents.

The solution, obviously, is not to slap a giant yellow "UNDECLARED" post-it note on your head, clap your hands and call it a life. Instead, it means having the guts to ask for help in creating a purposeful, thoughtful exploration of what you want- or need- to do with your time, abilities and interests.

Because unlike the Olympics, there is no race to the finish line. Acknowledge this by allowing yourself some guided reflection time. Take advantage of opportunities to assess your abilities, gather unbiased information from those who share your interests and ask yourself some pointed, educated questions.

And if your wondering about the payoff...

It's worth its weight in gold.


photo credits: via Creative Commons, wikimedia
speed skaters
pixabay 
frat party via Flickr
golf course
post-it note
gold medal

Choose Well, Live Well

In my recent post, "Listen Up!", I extolled the benefits of listening to the needs of your mind and body and how that translates to listening better to others' needs.

My sister, Sara Gorman, is a living example of this mindful approach to life.  She was diagnosed several years ago, at age 26, with lupus, an incurable autoimmune disorder.  For the first couple of years her symptoms were especially severe and pain wracked her body daily. However, Sara gradually discovered that by constantly listening to what her body needed, she could greatly reduce Lupus activity.

But she didn't stop there. Sara has been helping other people pay attention to their needs ever since she wrote her book, Despite Lupus: How to Live Well with a Chronic Illness, back in 2009. She speaks to organizations about how to manage chronic illnesses by making healthy (but not always easy) choices in exercise, diet, sleep and stress reduction.

Sara also keeps an ongoing blog that details, in a very positive, energizing way, how she manages to live with Lupus every day. She openly recounts her lessons learned, her ongoing struggles and her successes over the disease. And while I have been faithfully following her blog like a good sister/reader for several years now, she never ceases to amaze me with her insights into what it means to choose well, every single day.

The following post was one of those insights.

Enjoy!
-Katie

Despite Lupus: Choosing Well

Crazy Busy?

“In this era, you must deliberately preserve and cultivate your most valuable connections to people, activities, and whatever else is most important to you. Anyone can cultivate these connections, drawing from them the strength and will a person needs to handle the best and worst of life, but only if you plan to do so and insist on adhering to your plan.” 

― Edward M. Hallowell 

The above is a quote from Dr. Hallowell's book that I highly recommend, CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! Strategies for Coping in a World Gone ADD.

Read it now, in the fall, when things are really starting to ramp up at home, at work and at school. It will help you take inventory of what is most important to you- and get rid of the rest!

The Season of Great Expectations

Vacations, Vacations!

Why must you court us

 With

False expectations?

-Author (thankfully) Unknown

A few months back, while researching an upcoming trip to Italy, (woo hoo!!!!) I found myself reading all kinds of travel literature.  Much of it was fun and exciting, but after a while it just got too overwhelming.  So after slogging through endless declarations of must-see's and stays in southern Italy, (I know, it's pure drudgery, I tell you!)  I was delighted to come across a refreshing article, "Cape of High Hopes," in the March issue of Travel and Leisure Magazine.   

While the author, Editor-At-Large Peter Jon Lindberg, never mentions a word about Italy (at least in this article,) he does eloquently describe the potential pit fall of any vacation endeavor: grandiose expectations of the "perfect" trip.

I don't know about you, but when I plan for a trip, especially to uncharted territory, I get really excited. I become entranced in a sort of perfectionistic rhapsody, romanticizing the upcoming vacation to the point that it can never live up to my supernatural, ecstasy-inducing vision. It's as if my penchant for conjuring up wonderful possibilities (a great talent to have as a career coach, mind you) goes a little nutso-bonko and ends up biting me in that area-where-the sun-don't-get-to-shine.

But then I read this almost therapeutic article about becoming aware of these expectations and am now determined to outsmart my bullish idealism during future travel. I won't summarize Lindberg's elegant insights into not-so-elegant bullet points; instead, I'll just let you enjoy this lovely piece for yourself. His perspective is a great way to approach anything, really, whether it be vacations, careers, or life choices.

(FULL DISCLAIMER: Don't go thinking that this is THE best article in the whole WORLD. Because I'm not going to be the one to overly inflate your expectations.)

But DO enjoy!
-Katie

http://www.travelandleisure.com/articles/when-a-vacation-disappoints.html