This Holiday Season, Follow The Golden Rule

...which is, EAT IT ALL!!!

Enjoy!

-Katie

p.s. When I first saw this video I could've sworn I was watching my dog, Cloey Margaret.

Conan Takes on The American Girl Doll

I seriously need to claim more dependents on my tax forms.
It's getting ridiculous around here.

After braving the mall yesterday and getting a hefty dose of holiday-induced commercialism, I found this video by Conan O'Brien particularly amusing.

Enjoy!

-Katie

The Opposite of Love

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. 

The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. 

The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. 

And the opposite of life is not death, 

it's indifference."

-Elie Wiesel

Holocaust survivor,

Nobel-Prize winning writer, 

teacher and global activist

Voracious Living

Grief has made it difficult to concentrate on much this week. It's crazy how much space sorrow takes up in our lives.

My friend, Kelly, passed away last Wednesday. She lost her incredibly hard-fought battle with cancer.

I have been thinking about what to write, but what can I say? I can't seem to get beyond three little children without a mommy. Or a devoted husband who misses his wife in the worst way. Not to mention her loving sister, parents and friends.

During her funeral service today, Kelly's father gave one of the most moving tributes I've ever heard. So did the priest that gave the homily. He had known her since she was a child.

One of the most inspiring aspects of Kelly's life of 45 years? According to friends, family and all who knew her (myself included), she lived voraciously- not only in her work but in her family life as well. She chose to prioritize those things most precious to her: family, friends and giving to those in need. Kelly knew something that too many of us forget: gratifying work is important, yes. But without paying attention to the rich layers that make up our lives, such as relationships, love and compassion, our work is one dimensional and uninspired.

I wish I could say more, since a life lived voraciously overflows with compelling stories, tender moments, heroic successes, crushing defeats and too many heartbeats to count. But I'm going to wager that a few words are better than none.

So thank you, Kelly, for inspiring us to be uncompromising in our giving and grateful in our receiving.

The Thanksgiving Stalker

So I ask you, My Friend, how was your Thanksgiving?

One Intimate Question

This video spotlights a fascinating difference in perspective between children and adults.

Enjoy!
-Katie

Creating Extreme Makeovers: At Home or at Work?

House Beautiful

Many years ago, when I went to see a career coach myself to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, I grappled with two different worlds to pursue professionally. I deliberated between beautifying homes or helping people navigate the career world. Two totally different pursuits, no? 

Option One: The Home Makeover Route

I'll admit there's nothing that gets me more jazzed than good, innovative design, especially in the intimate setting of one's home. I considered going into interior design to be a part of that amazing process of helping others create an environment that energizes and nurtures them. 

I've always loved combing through shelter magazines and interior design books for ideas. I get giddy over colors, patterns and textures, and lose track of time when I start rearranging things in my home. And from the time I was a little kid, I've always loved to draw and create beautiful things, including my future home. In fact, when my sister and I were little, riding in the back seat of our old station wagon to see Grandma and Grandpa, we used to while away the hours by thumbing through the Sears Catalog, picking out items for our future home and putting them in notebooks.

Ah, the days before Pinterest...

Option Two: The Work Makeover Route 

On the other hand, helping people solve problems has always energized me. Enabling people to discover and reach their potential has always felt meaningful and satisfying. Most importantly, I've always had a knack for that kind of thing; people sought out my advice way before I called myself a career coach. 



And talk about a fascinating subject area! I could read and write about people's career journeys, life choices, behavior and psychology 'til the cows came home. 

So which was I supposed to choose? Designing or coaching?

Option Three: Both!

Thankfully my career coach- who eventually became my wonderful mentor- put an end to my dilemma and suggested that I didn't have to really choose. I could, in fact, bring the function of design into career coaching. He suggested that even if I took the coaching route, I would actually still be designing, just not in the artistic medium of velvet-upholstered chairs or sparkly light fixtures. 

(You can tell where my tastes fall on the decorating spectrum, can't you?)

He explained the many ways design is an integral part of career coaching. Coaches help people design their ideal careers, their goals and their visions. Coaches shine light on various bits and pieces of someone's life- pieces such as talents, passions and interests- and help the client create ways to integrate those disparate entities into something streamlined and, well, beautiful.


As soon as I chose to go the career coaching path I realized he was right. I discovered that even though I wasn't going to be an interior designer, I could still ensure that innovation, creativity and beauty were infused into my working life. Every day I'm increasingly convinced that pieces of the career puzzle are exquisite in their richness and complexity, even though they are more conceptual than physical.

Picture, for instance, the vibrancy of a talent that has been uncovered, engaged and honed. Consider the splendor of pursuing fascinations and passions, layering depths into our lives in a way few other things can. Remember how challenging work makes you feel alive and invigorated, especially in a physical environment that makes you feel at home with your talents. 

So what happens when all of these pieces- the talents, the interests, passions and environments- are designed to come together in unison? They infuse a brilliant spectrum of colors and textures into life. And you possess a living, breathing (and ever-evolving) work of art.

Naturally, I will always maintain a pure, aesthetic love of interior design, and I try to give it due time on a regular basis. I fully embrace my role as an interior design enthusiast vs. professional, and yes, you might call me an amateur. While this label might strike some as a bit pejorative and diminutive, I prefer to think of the word amateur as the French originally designed it to mean: "for the love of something." According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, Amateur originates from the Latin, "amator" ("lover") and is derived from amare ("to love.") 

And, as a great woman once said,

"Even if one dost not make home design one's livelihood, 

one always has Pinterest."*

Designer's Guild

Indulge In Your Own "What If" Life Makeover



Ask yourself:

What if you were to take the time to create something innovative in your professional life? 

What if you were to add value to your work that might surprise (and delight) those that witnessed it? 

What if you were to incorporate some of your long-held interests into your personal life? 

What do you miss doing that could come back to you, that could enrich your life, filling it with new layers and meaning?


*Okay, that woman was me. I said that statement in a flash of insight.

What Now?

“What now is not just a panic-stricken question tossed out into a dark unknown. 

What now can also be our joy. It is a declaration of possibility, of promise, of chance. It acknowledges that our future is open, that we may well do more than anyone expected of us, that at every point in our development we are still striving to grow. 

There’s a time in our lives when we all crave the answers. It seems terrifying not to know what’s coming next. 

But there is a time, a better time, when we see our lives as a series of choices, and What now represents our excitement and our future, the very vitality of life. It’s up to you to choose a life that will keep expanding. It takes discipline to remain curious; it takes work to be open to the world- but oh my friends, what noble and glorious work it is.”

-Ann Patchett

What now?

The Happy Secret to Better Work

Check out this fantastic video my friend shared with me.

Enjoy!

-Katie

Invasion of the Candy Snatcher

"That's right, Little Ones. Bring your candy to me"

Here was the unfortunate situation Halloween Night: 

Cloey Margaret, our beloved Golden Retriever, goes out to greet the trick-or-treating family of four. They all pet her soft coat and squeal over her cute little bandana.

"Aww, she's so sweet," says the dad.

"And so good with kids!" adds the mom.

"She likes wishing everyone a Happy Halloween," I say with a grin. 

I love this night, I think to myself.

Just then, one daughter, dressed as Queen Elsa from Frozen, trips on her lovely satin gown. She is not hurt, thankfully, but she takes some time getting up and carelessly leaves her heavily laden pumpkin bucket filled with sugary loot on the ground.

Like a tiger sensing weakness, and as we parents are distracted by caring for the small child, Cloey goes in for the kill, rapidly digging her long snoot into the little girl's pumpkin bucket.

Child: (Still on the ground) Ahhhhhhhh! She's eating my candy!!!

Me: Oh my Lord! Cloey! Stop that!!!!

I grabbed the bucket away from Cloey, who has managed to score a small (fun size!) bag of M & M's. I successfully wrestle the bag from her jaws. It is now covered with slobber.

The Mom: (forcing a smile and reaching for the soggy bag) I'll take that, thank you.

Me: Oh no no no! I'll get her a fresh bag- really. And my sincere apologies about that ummm ... incident.

Child: (who stops crying immediately when I give her a fistful of M & M bags) Thanks!

After that, Miss Cloey Margaret was banished from Trick-or-Treating Land and sent to the basement to think about what she'd done. (But mostly she just barked in protest.)

Hope you all had a Happy Halloween!

Cracking the Moronic Code

I've decided that my husband and I should not be allowed to put children to bed, due to the fact that we essentially turn into morons after 7pm. Sometimes it takes us so long to put each child to bed that we find ourselves eating breakfast once they finally get to sleep, since it's practically dawn anyway.

While this last part might be a bit of an exaggeration, our children's nighttime routines were indeed stretching into the precious hours of our parent-only time, making us wonder if this bedtime behavior was normal.  I therefore began asking fellow parents what time they put their kids to bed. Unfortunately, I received answers that shook me to my mother-lovin' core.

"7:30" was the first answer given.

Hmmm. I asked them to repeat that answer because surely they misunderstood me.  I was certain they thought I'd asked what time they ate dinner.

Nope, it turned out they heard me just fine.  All of their children- even the oldest, age 9, is in bed by 7 freakin' 30.

I was shaken because I'd been expecting a validating response like, "Oh, Lord, bedtime???!!!! It takes us FOREVER to get Precious Georgina and Little Lukey to bed. We are sooooo exhausted every single night!"

So, since I was not getting the validation I was looking for, I decided to do the right thing and ask someone else. Someone who might be more, you know, normal, like us.

And wouldn't you know it, the next parent I asked said the same thing: 7:30. Seriously people!

Not backing down for one minute, I asked yet another two parents and the answers were only slightly better: lights out at 8. Maybe 8:30. One said 9:00, but only on a special occasion, like Halloween, when candy consumption has them dancing on the ceiling.

That's when I began to get the suspicious feeling that we were doing something terribly wrong. Why couldn't we get our children to sleep at a decent hour? Were we complete imbeciles when it came to the night time rituals?

I consulted several pediatric sleep books with titles such as Bedtime Made Easy! Twenty Simple Strategies Even Morons Like You Can Do , but they all contradicted one another, which is why I always dread reading books on raising children: every author professes her method is the only way to successfully guide children to adulthood without failing miserably.

So at my son's annual check-up my husband and I decided to ask the pediatrician what sleep times the children should be getting. The doctor's answer confirmed that while our kids weren't really too far off on their ideal sleeping times, it was enough that they did need more than they were getting. And, most importantly, we learned that we were being majorly played by our offspring. She gently explained to my husband and I that our children were basically taking advantage of our soft spot for together time at the end of the day: reading stories, telling stories, cuddling, asking questions, etc. etc. etc., so on and so forth.

Now, lest you, the reader, think this comportment is sweet and endearing, please understand that it does, in fact, mimic the behavior of ravenous lions preying on helpless, unsuspecting gazelles.

"Oh what a lovely day, Boris,
perfect for meandering through the meadow..."

"That was almost too easy, Sis."

My husband and I have since cracked down on the bedtime nonsense; however, the lions are persistent. Every night we have to keep things moving, otherwise everything will drag out and mom and dad will get frustrated and frazzled and the children will get crabby and ugly everyone will be a big ole mess.

I only mention this ongoing battle in my own little suburban animal kingdom because I'm trying to point out the following:

It's human nature to want things we do not, in any way, need. 

We stay up too late watching TV. Or reading. Or, as The Artist Formally Known As Prince would say, partying like it's 1999. Then the next morning go to work feeling like we've been hit by a semi.

Or perhaps we drink too much coffee or throw down one too many donuts, skip the exercise and treat our bodies like they are mere transporters of our brains.

Then we wonder why they won't work the way they're supposed to.

Everyone has a vice (or five) because we often want what we don't need. But while we can never expect ourselves to behave perfectly, (and nor should we, right? We gotta enjoy life!) there is something to be said for tuning in and recognizing when our minds and bodies are telling us to slow down, or rest, or to rethink how we work and live. We can divert our focus to an activity or food that will nourish us. We can do things in moderation. We can adjust our way of handling stress and stressful people and we can ask for help when we need it. We can make choices, every single day that allow us to push ourselves to do better.

Not necessarily flawless, but at least better.

So now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go share these sentiments with the lions. 'Cause in 12 hours it'll be bedtime and I know they'll be hungry for stalling tactics.

Photos: Creative Commons, Wikipedia, Edupic

Courage is Easier Than Fear

Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier. We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.

You Learn By Living (1960), 41

Eleanor Roosevelt

Instrumental Learning

A New Language

I'm finally doing something I always promised myself I'd do: 

I'm learning how to play piano.

I'd never taken any instrumental lessons in my life, only voice, and I thought it was about time I tried, even if I was in my 40's.

I suppose this later-in-life artistic self-expression has been passed down to me genetically. My paternal grandfather, "Paw Paw", as we grandkids called him, took up painting at age 80. He was a meat cutter and grocery store owner for several decades before he retired in 1970.

One of Paw Paw's first works

But one day, in between leisurely golf games and hanging out with my sweet grandmother, "Rita", in their tiny and inviting South Florida cottage, Paw Paw decided to give painting a go. And paint he did, converting their garage into a studio filled with easels, canvases, tubes of acrylic paints, brushes, and mixing trays. He even went so far as to fashion his own frames out of reclaimed wood, long before using reclaimed wood was über cool, mind you.

(Full disclosure: I'm positive he never once used the term, "reclaimed." His description was probably more along the lines of, "found", as in, "Hey look, Rita. I just found these ol' pieces of wood on the side of the road. I'll bet I can use them for a frame.")

Now dozens of Paw Paw's paintings- framed, mind you- are hanging in homes scattered all over the country, divvied up between his kids and grandkids. And yes, I did indeed say "dozens": he lived to be 97, and enjoyed 15 solid years of painting during his twilight years.

While my grandfather had no reservations about starting something 40 years past 40, I'll admit to possessing a pesky little naysaying voice. It likes to hang out on my shoulder when I sit down to play, whispering disparaging remarks such as:

"Music lessons are expensive. Shouldn't I only be paying for the kids to learn something new?"

or

Shouldn't I be working?

and

 How can this feel so satisfying? You know, like I'm accomplishing something? Accomplishments should, by definition, further my career, right?

 Chinoiserie detail on piano,
by Amanda de la Colina,
my maternal great grandmother,
who painted this piano well past her 40's.

Thankfully, the notes quickly drown out those pervasive "should's", leaving me completely engrossed in my own little musical world.

Playing an instrument, I've discovered, is an incredibly fun and constructive activity to incorporate into my days of working and parenting. For one, playing allows me to exercise my brain in an entirely different way than I'm accustomed to. Not only am I speaking a different language, that of notes and intervals and rhythms, I'm forcing myself to use each hand for a separate task.

Coordination of left and right brain hemispheres?

Oh. Yeah.

For those who don't play, allow me to explain: the left hand typically covers the bass clef and the right hand the treble clef- which means I have to simultaneously perform two different activities. (Kind of like patting your head with one hand and rubbing your stomach with the other.) However, thanks to muscle memory, the more I practice, the more my hands just "remember" and I find I'm more easily able to split focus between my right and left hands.

Apparently, I'm hardly imagining the mental stretching taking place. Many studies have shown the cognitive benefits of playing an instrument, from brain stimulation to specific motor control and coordination to positive effects on the aging brain. In fact, the analytical and emotional complexities of piano performance alone allow for the brain to efficiently challenge its plasticity, according to neuroscientists.

Ruth Silk, watercolor
My maternal grandmother painted the above at age 60 +

But countless studies aside, beginning a new instrument quite simply triggers a playful sense of letting go and being okay with making mistakes. And many mistakes doth I make, since I am, most assuredly, a beginner. And one of the ummm... let's just say, more mature students.

Before and after my lesson, young, Dr. Seuss-loving tykes skip in for their weekly lessons, swinging their little piano bags merrily behind them as they plop down on the piano bench- which, by the way, is scooted in all the way so their feet can graze the pedals. And thanks to a great teacher, many of them sound incredible, their nimble little fingers gliding along the keys with ease. And yes, listening to them feels a trifle humbling. But most of the time it feels good to be a beginner again, or, more specifically, to allow myself to be a beginner again; the hope of improvement stretched out before me in a vast, promising horizon. I look forward to the time when I will actually start to make beautiful music that sounds more, ummm... let's just say, accomplished.

Take time to take pictures.

What about you? When was the last time you invested time in yourself for the sole purpose of growing your mind and body? For the singular objective of enriching your mental, creative and/or physical well-being? Even if it means going back to being a beginner again?

And what if you were to go crazy and give yourself permission to monetarily invest in yourself?  Whether it be acquiring a new camera, booking a weekly yoga class, or taking yourself to the movies on Sunday afternoons, you will help to satisfy your mind's instinctive hunger for knowledge and expansion. (Dare I add that it may even feel revolutionary!)

If Paw Paw were still with me, I'm sure he'd agree. No fancy research required.

Writers, Mountains and Truth

"Imagine truth as a chain of great mountains, their tops way up in the clouds. 

Writers explore these truths, always looking out for new paths up these peaks."

from the novel, Beautiful Ruins

by Jess Walters

Photo: wikipedia

What Engages You? In Life? In Work? At Play?

"The marvelous thing about a good question is that it shapes our identity as much by the asking as it does by the answering."

-David Whyte, Poet

The Rhythm of Your Day

Apartment Therapy

A lot of people think they want to work from home mainly because they dream of working in their pajamas and writing from their laptop in bed while munching on a bag of Doritos and catching up on their Netflix. But take it from me, a work-from-homer: That's a total myth.

I'm not eating Doritos OR watching Netflix!

Seriously, though, who can blame them? Freedom to do what you want on pretty much your own schedule is a pretty enticing concept.

But what those work-from-home dreamers like to ignore is the fact that a) you really do have to get work done and b) there's a whole arsenal of distractions firing at you from all cylinders, trying to impede you from getting that said work done.

For example, here is what I am looking at right now as I type this post:

Cute Dog, looking at me. 
I 'd like to stop and pet her but I won't because I'm working.
Distraction Level: 3

Bits of paper bag pulled out from the recycling bin and strewn about the carpet by Cute Dog,
who chewed it up because she was mad at me when I went running earlier today without her 
(and because it smelled like hamburger.)
Now fighting urge to stop working to vacuum it up and, by the way, 
why won't that rug stain EVER go away?
Distraction Level: 10

Random picture that I took of a flamingo looking at a rock.
Stumbled upon it in my iPhoto Library as I was downloading the dirty carpet and Cute Dog picture. 
Felt compelled to photoshop and share it.
Distraction Level: 7

I could mention more distractions, such as the load of laundry that really should be changed over from the washer to the dryer right now or my closet that needs reorganizing or the frozen chicken breasts that probably should start thawing for dinner tonight or the pitiful looking flowers that desperately need water. But I don't think I need to because you get the point.

No, working from home certainly isn't for everyone, mainly because most people crave already-established boundaries in space and time, and find the parameters between their personal and professional lives in a home office too blurry for their taste. My husband, for instance, telecommutes one day a week and looks forward to it; however, he admits that he doesn't think he could do it two days a week, much less five. 

Now, lest you suspect that I might be the cause of his telecommuting reticence, I can assure you that's certainly not the case. Yes, it's true that I like to bounce my ideas off of him and get his feedback on things and, okay, I might occasionally ask him for a teensy bit of IT help now and then, (he's my tech geek, after all)  I'm generally pretty good at doing my own thing. I think he likes to go into the office because he enjoys being part of a team and gets a kick out of managing and listening and doing all of those things that engage him.

(At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

Embrace the Distractions

Even with all of its drawbacks, working from home benefits me tremendously. As long as I build in the distractions in a clever and efficient way, I'm a working machine most days! I'm even going to be so bold as to say that the dynamic structure of the work-from-home model could be applied to work habits in many environments. The key is being able to use your brain in different ways throughout the day, changing the tempo as needed.

Here are my suggestions:

1. Don't Pass on the Little Tasks 

@ Home: On my "official" breaks- the ones that I've earned by doing the necessary work first- I replenish my brain by doing simple activities like folding clothes or washing dishes. These are tasks that can be completed from start to finish quickly and require very little thinking.

A lot of my career education work is on the abstract and creative side and many projects remain open-ended, so it feels good to go in a completely different, close-ended direction from time to time. In fact, it always seems that as I've finished washing the last dish in the sink, I'm usually able to come up with a solution to a problem or drum up a new way of communicating a complex concept.

@ Office: Unless you'd like to come over and do my housework (which you're welcome to, by the way) I'm sure there are some menial tasks that no one would mind you completing at the office. Stapling, organizing the supply closet, sorting papers, filing, stuffing envelopes, or anything that needs doing but takes very little mental energy would do the trick. And you could always earn brownie points by being the clean-up person of the community kitchen.

(No one will suspect your ulterior motives.)

2. You Can't Sit Still Forever!

Remember when you were little? Remember the good teachers who understood that making you sit for hours at a time was a terrible idea for everyone involved? Similarly, when we feel restless from sitting on our bums too long we need to be able to get up and walk around. That necessity to move hasn't really gone away, even though we adults like to pretend it has.

Some remedies for the restless:

@Home: Take a run or brisk walk. Exercise diverts your attention away from problems- and boredom- and those endorphins will put you in a better mood to tackle stuff you don't normally enjoy. Bonus: creative juices often flow better when you get your heart rate up.

@Office: Walk around the office or the block, either alone or with an approachable colleague that's ready for some moving around. Even just standing up and stretching gives your mind and body a break.


3. "If Music be the Food of Love Play On!" -Shakespeare



Music's tonal language of swells and cadences can both stimulate your senses and help relax you. Why not utilize it?

@ Home: I replenish my spirit by playing piano. I like the fact that I can get out of my head and into the keys of the piano. Playing allows me to concentrate on building up muscle memory in my hands. When I'm lost in a song I'm focusing solely on the musical language of notes, rhythm, chords and beats (rather than ideas, numbers and information.)

@ Office: Put on earphones and kick back with some jazz or whatever gets you grooving. It can give you a boost of energy or relax your nerves when colleagues or bosses test your patience.

Street Music: Players Welcome

By the way, what if an office had a music room? How awesome would that be?

4. Play With the Rhythms In Your Work

@ Home and @ Office: Think about how to structure your day in a musically dynamic way. My suggestion is to aim for a steady rhythm of work in the morning when the brain is fresh, churning out the assignments that require longer concentration and getting into a flow. Then perhaps switch it up to something slow and melodic in the afternoon, with bursts of hot jazz thrown in to recharge you periodically.
(By the way, yes, you CAN achieve this without a Starbucks Double Espresso Mocha Frappuccino.)

5. And Please, Don't Torture Yourself.

When you feel as if you've hit a wall in terms of idea generation or solving a problem, don't keep trying the same thing over and over, getting the same results each time. (Some say that's the definition of insanity, by the way.) Instead, create a whole new tempo by doing something you never do. Draw a picture of your dog, read some poetry, or heck, WRITE some poetry. Eat your lunch on a park bench, stare out the window at the birds, ride a bike, watch a short film, or, if things get really dicey, go to the zoo on your lunch break and take a closeup of a flamingo. (See stellar example at right.)


Just don't come back to work and waste your entire afternoon sharing your stunning photograph on social media. Or, if you MUST share it, limit it to Instagram. And maybe Facebook. And perhaps Twitter, Phanfare, SnapChat, Google+, LinkedIn, Blogger, Wordpress, Pinterest, Houzz, Flickr, SmugMug, Photobucket, StumbleUpon, Tumblr, and five other social media outlets that will become popular in the time it's taken you to read this post.

Photo credits: wikimedia

A New Language: Georgia O'Keefe

Laughing, Scheming and Other Ways to Stay Young

"Shelly"

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes.

You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams.

And life gets more exciting with each passing day.

And love is either in your heart, or on it's way.

Don't you know that it's worth every treasure on earth

To be young at heart.

For as rich as you are, it's much better by far

To be young at heart.

"Young at Heart" 

by Johnny Mercer and 

Robert E. Dolan

All's Quiet in Love

I can hear the crickets chirping around here, 'cause somebody has started kindergarten.

My little guy. My youngest. My baby boy.

I remember when I first had the ultrasound telling me I was having a boy. I'll admit to being a little disappointed. I already had a little girl, mind you, but secretly I'd hoped for another one. This is because:

A. That's what I knew about: girls.

and

B. I love having a sister myself. (And I've got a goodie!)

But mainly because I had no idea how much I would love having a little guy around, with all of his sweet little quirks, a pint-size face peeking out at me underneath a giant baseball cap, constantly asking me to play baseball/hockey/football/soccer or read about baseball/hockey/football/soccer. Giving me the stats on this player or that. Having a rough and tumble personality that is, at the same time, (somehow) kind and precious.

And I had no idea how much my heart would ache when he went off to school, abandoning me to do all of the wonderful things that I've been aspiring to do with my career once I had more time. Leaving me with larger chunks of time and energy to focus on what I need and want to do: to write, to design career education programs, to expand my networks, to work with clients, develop a social media plan and to devour my thick, juicy non-fiction books on careers, creativity, human behavior and the like.

(What can I say? I'm a career geek.)

Yes, I do have more time to do what I love, and for that I'm so very grateful.

I just have to get used to these blasted crickets.

Words to Live By: Twyla Tharp

"When you're in a rut, 

you have to question everything 

except 

your ability to get out of it."

-Twyla Tharp

Dancer, Choreographer

From her book,
 The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life

Poetic Justice

In case you were wondering what my dog, Cloey Margaret, was up to, my daughter has written a poem which pretty much sums up her most recent antics.
Enjoy!

Music Legend Levon Helm: Stick with the Fun Stuff

"I don't fool with a lot of things that I can't have fun with. There's not much reward in that. For instance, after we mixed the album that you couldn't hear over a speaker, I shied away from engineering, you might say." 

-Levon Helm

Drummer/ Singer/
Songwriter/ Actor

1984 interview with Modern Drummer

Words to Live By: Mark Twain

The two most important days in your life are

the day you are born 

and 

the day you find out why.

-Mark Twain

Fame, Fortune and Dreaming Big

By the time I hit the ripe old age of 16, my ambitions had taken on a life of their own.  Every dream career I concocted was infinitely possible and grandly desirable, especially when the career field was fraught with stiff competition and low success rates among those who chose to pursue it. 

Queen of the Long Shots was I. 

"I'm gonna live forever..."

Defying 
Gravity

And what was to stop me from dreaming big? I had the larger-than-life 80's hairdo going on, why not have the dreams to go with it?

As I got older, however, the lack of specificity in all those dreams became increasingly apparent. My 16 year-young, chock-full-o'-hairspray self had somehow failed to address the specifics of how and even why I wanted to live out those dreams. (There must be some study out there linking heavy hairspray use to poor long-term planning, but I haven't come across it yet.)

Once in a while I ponder that journey from 16 to my, uh, age now, and consider how those youthful, nebulous dreams didn't really fade, but rather evolved into a higher level of sophistication. For example, I recall that in my early days money and fame were always an integral part of my dreams of success. Of course, I never outwardly admitted that belief because I considered myself a good, conscientious person, and a good, conscientious person shouldn't care about things like that, right? But I'll admit today that those less-than-noble ambitions were infinitely present, always lurking in the back of my mind like gauntlets I'd thrown down to hold myself accountable.

Now that I'm able to look back and reflect- and hindsight is 20/20, of course- it's easy for me to see how money and fame were the most accessible ambitions to shoot for, especially since I didn't have any specific goals up my sleeve at the time.

Ah, Mr. Robin Leach.
I hope that vest didn't cost you
 a fortune.

Of course, the constant reminders in society extolling the importance of celebrity and wealth made them easy targets. 'Twas the 80's, and everyone (that I was paying attention to, anyway) seemed to value fortune-building over character-building.

But ultimately I recognized that my career ambitions came down to my own choosing. I could listen to how society-at-large defined success. And I could choose to set standards so high that I could never live up to those ever-elusive dreams.

Madonna: before 
her blonde ambition
took over

On the other hand, I could choose to make my dreams clearer and more thoughtful and personal. I could choose to dig deeper and uncover what truly motivated me, beyond material rewards and far-reaching recognition. I could broaden my concept of success while also breaking down goals into easier-to-attain steps.

Once I was able to look beyond these familiar trappings I discovered how much richer dreams can be when they come from an authentic place, born out everything I believe in and need to do. Like expressing my talent for the love of it, making a positive impact in people's lives, and striving for solid financial health versus enormous wealth.

My notion of fame thankfully has evolved as well, maturing from an insatiable appetite for widespread recognition to a yearning for broader social impact. I find that I'm now driven by a need to mobilize my expertise and knowledge to tackle career conventions that are in desperate need of repair. But I'm also equally invigorated when I've helped one person create a successful new game plan for their life or enabled them to use their talents in a brand new way. These individual partnerships have rewarded me in ways I'd never imagined.

But then again, are we ever able to accurately imagine what will drive us in the future? Maybe not. Or maybe, just maybe, if we can come to terms with who we are, what we believe in, and what we're good at, we might catch a glimpse at what our future holds.

Do Something Today

Do something

TODAY. 

Make someone’s life easier.

Solve a problem. Listen. 

Take initiative. 

Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity to help. 

Just do something SMALL. 

Don't sacrifice ACTION by thinking too big.

You 

can 

DO 

some thing 

TODAY.

Photo: wikimedia commons