It Changed My Life!

No really, it did!  (QVC, I'm ready for my close-up!!!!!!)

By "it" I mean working with an amazing career coach several years ago.  With his expert help, I was able to unleash potential in me that I never knew existed.  What a relief I felt to discover all of these untapped abilities which had previously been masked as"something is missing, but I don't know what." 

Once I began applying my strengths instead of trying to improve my weaknesses, life got a lot easier.  I felt as if a gigantic boulder had been lifted off my shoulders: a heavy burden that pulled me down, making me feel like I should be happy with where I was, what I was doing, and the success I had had thus far as an actress.
 
Before finding out that a) career coaches even existed and b) I could actually afford one, I looked like every other unhappy worker bee out there;  I felt underused, for lack of a better word.  Moreover, I adhered to "The Great Career Myth":  that we should all be able to do this career deciding thing on our own.  Because hey, if some people can find the right match, then so can everyone, right?  There seems to be an collective understanding that if we, and we alone, think and try hard enough a career will come into our sphere of recognition.  I was under that impression for years until I happened upon a great career coach myself.  I learned just how much information and targeted questioning goes into a perfect career path.

Prior to moving to the Washington DC area, I had never even heard of a career coach before.  Growing up in rural Indiana, the term "coach" referred solely to someone who, for instance, headed up a basketball team and threw chairs at his players.  (Thanks for the memories, Bobby Knight!)  Career "counselors" held court in career centers at high schools, colleges and universities, not on their own.   So I was pleasantly surprised when I happened upon someone who could work with me one on one.

And what a truly life-altering experience working with a career coach turned out to be.  I found out what razor-sharp questions to ask myself, and I learned how my temperament affected the way I learn and take in information and make decisions.  I also came to understand how certain abilities and inabilities influenced past hits and misses.  Most importantly, I was finally able to determine my brain's needs and natural affinities. 


How I Did It
 
My first step entailed taking a career assessment that was actually really helpful, unlike those I'd taken in the past.  The assessment measured things that I'd never even heard of but that are so important to know when it comes to finding your dream career.  If you are wondering about which career assessments to take, let me give you a hint:  as with anything in life, you get what you pay for.  A sophisticated career assessment that measures 16 + aptitudes and talents will run between $500-600.

While that may seem expensive, especially compared to the free Strong Interest Surveys and personality assessments offered at a high school, college, or even online, it is a much, much more powerful tool.  (Kind of like an X-Ray for your aptitudes!) Because it is more in depth, this type of assessment will narrow down the career playing field to small fraction of what the other, more generalized assessments offer.  And let's face it, who has the time to pour over hundreds of career possibilities versus a handful?

A good, comprehensive ability instrument (*see recommendation below) will measure many critical abilities and aptitudes, versus just focusing on personality or our ever-changing interests.  And while personality, temperament and interests are very critical components to your "sweet spot" formula, they are not enough to complete the equation.  Compared to the money you may be about to spend on furthering your education ($100K +), training you might seek, or getting stuck in a job that you feel you can't leave lest you look like a job hopper, I would say $500 is a drop in the bucket!

In addition to discovering my strengths and abilities, I worked intently with my coach.  He never told me what I should do; rather, he helped me figure it out for myself, just like any good career coach should.  Using the assessment results as a guide, I fleshed out what I was consistently drawn to do.  I also asked those close to me to assess my abilities and talents and natural instincts.  Thirdly, I changed my perspective from that of a job seeker to that of a career designer.  No more looking at want ads to determine what might fit me.  I knew I needed to invent a career specifically tailored for me.

Lastly, once I made some really scary but meaningful commitments to myself, I took a leap that I never thought I would be capable of taking:  I started my own unique consulting business.  In career coaching, no less! While aspects of self-employment can be challenging, I have no doubts that this is exactly what I need to do.  Helping people design their own careers fits me like a glove.  This line of "work" is anything but for me.  That's because this is something I need to do, not just want to do. 

Thanks to my fantastic mentor and aforementioned coach, this career design process describes what I do with my own clients today. I enable them to figure out what they do best by "connecting the dots."  I show my client how to gather clues about his or her strengths, how to self motivate by using inborn talents and preferences, and how to unleash the potential within.  In this way I help my client play detective and uncover the mystery of where his or her "sweet spot" lies.

So that's my story.

What's yours?

Or have you yet to invent it? 


*I highly recommend using Pathfinders, owned by Anthony Spadafore.  He administers and interprets the Career Finder Program, which measures a full range of aptitudes.  Check out www.pathfinderscareerdesign.com for more information.

The Blind Side's Got Talent... to a T

Being a parent of two little children means that I am a few weeks, perhaps months, even years behind on my movie viewing.  I am equally pathetic at reading your typical mainstream bestsellers.  For example,  I just read The Da Vinci Code a couple of months ago.  I really don't understand the hype about that one... but I guess I can't add anything to that erudite (ahem) and controversial discussion because it ended, what, 10 years ago? So I will apologize here and now for referencing movies that are so NOW-ON-DVD.

That being said, the movie, The Blind Side, hasn't been out too long (and Sandy won an Oscar and adopted a baby or two and had boy trouble, as I was told by the supermarket tabloids), so I thought it might still be on everyone's radar.

My grade for the movie:  an A+ for celebrating the powerful force of knowing one's own unique talents.  Based on the non-fiction book, The Blind Side:  Evolution of a Game by Michael Lewis, this movie illustrates what happens when talent and temperament are ignited by a catalyst:  in this case, an observant, intuitive mother.
  
As a young man, Michael Oher, now grown up and an offensive tackle for The Baltimore Ravens, was the victim of tragic neglect since infancy.  This neglect stunted his intellectual and social abilities by epic proportions.  However, as movingly portrayed in The Blind Side, Oher has the good fortune of being taken in by a loving and caring family.   His adoptive family provides not only for his basic physical needs of a bed, a home and food, but his emotional and intellectual needs as well.  His mother, Leigh Anne Touhy, played by the aforementioned Sandra Bullock, as well as his father and a caring teacher see his potential intellect and talent lying dormant, and gradually help to nurture Michael's inborn gifts to life.

Motivation and Ability

Oher's new caretakers quickly discover that the young man possesses incredible natural athleticism in addition to his large size;  however, they feel there's a missing piece of the puzzle.  Michael, who does not - and cannot- adequately communicate his own preferences, seems reluctant to use his athletic ability and strength.  Despite his enormous size he has no desire to tackle just for the sake of tackling, unlike every other lineman on the team.  The high school coach can't understand why anyone of Michael's stature wouldn't seek to use this size to his advantage and crush his relatively diminutive opponents.

As if in response to the coach's incredulity, the movie employs a wonderful analogy: the classic children's story of Ferdinand the Bull.    Ferdinand is the sweet, loveable and enormous bull who has no aggressive instincts even though he's supposed to be, well, bullish.   Oher is that gentle giant who's modus operandi, in spite of his size, carries no aggressive inclinations.

The mother discovers this lack of aggressiveness and turns it into a solution.  She intuitively taps into a priceless jewel hidden beneath her son's 300 + lb. frame: an unsung affinity for protecting and caring for others.  She points out to Michael that he has the opportunity to protect his fellow players, just as he protects his family.  Once this pivotal discovery is put into play, Michael Oher's life is changed forever.  He has found his motivation, and the rest of his life starts to come together.

Specialized Talent

Unlike many offensive positions in football, the left tackle actually seeks to protect the quarterback, not just tackle the defensive line.  In his book, author Michael Lewis examines how specialized a person must be to play the offensive left tackle position at the highest level in football: playing in the N.F.L.   This position's requisite specialty is even rarer than many other positions in pro football and therefore "one of the most valuable commodities," as Lewis writes.  (Oh, and did I mention, the second highest paid position, next to the quarterback?)

This specialization is where Michael Oher's physical tools come into play.  He has amazing agility combined with enormous (yet solid) size and incredible speed.  He also possesses inordinately large hands to handle tough defenders, and long arms to keep the rushers at bay.  These traits enable Oher to protect the quarterback's blind side- the left side.  The country's top football coaches spotted his uniqueness right away and vied for Michael Oher to come play at their schools.

On a career note, we have all seen/heard/read about how talent scouts and coaches look for specific characteristics in putting together a football team.   Different positions obviously require different skills.  So what if non-athletes were to look at themselves from that perspective?    My guess is that most people would benefit from thinking of themselves as highly specialized individuals.

You have a singular, intricate tapestry of physical and mental abilities in the same way you have a distinct fingerprint.   What if you began looking at yourself as a scout would:  what combined talents, motivations, abilities, and strengths do you have to offer?  If you aren't crystal clear, a career expert can help to illuminate traits you would never think of as useful.  (Because, hey, who has the luxury of being discovered by a talent scout for accounting or entrepreneurial brilliance?)
 
Environment Seals the Deal

By the end of the movie we see what happens when a nurturing, supportive environment helps an individual ignite his talent and intellect.  We see Michael's journey from working hard just to physically survive each day (as he had for 16 + years) to working hard to excel at his talents, mental pursuits, passions, and dreams.  And this journey illustrates an important element as far as talent is concerned: without any nurturing, a person's nature cannot be expressed fully or, as in Michael's case, barely at all.  His hard-working, intelligent, protective nature, was not seen until some basic foundations had been allowed him.

As a mother watching this movie, I could relate. This is because I've got my own little Ferdinand.  Or Fernandina, to be exact.  And she's more like a lithe little calf than a bull, but that's beside the point.  Like Michael, she seems to lack any aggressive instincts.  When playing soccer, for example, she would much rather stand out in a field and gather daisies for the other teammates than have anything to do with fighting for ball time.  Moreover, when a fellow player gets hurt, she MUST  go and see if he is okay.  (Yes, "he."  She's in with all boys, and no, we did not plan it that way but she's hanging in there like a champ.)  She would much rather play the healer role than that of the aggressor.  But instead of wishing she'd kick the ball (okay, just once during the entire one and a half hour class might be nice,) I do find her inclinations fascinating.

Who knows how my daughter will use her healing nature in the future, but only she can figure that out.  It may or may not have anything to do with the medical field;  healing may be the way she approaches her job or clients or students or co-workers.  But I hope that, like Michael's parents, I can provide the opportunities for her to thrive.  My wish for her as she gets older: to be able to pick daisies in whatever field she chooses.