1.02.2012

Some New Year's Non Resolutions


Flicker



Happy New Year!!


This year I don't resolve to:

lose weight
get organized
make more money
exercise more
write more
read more
or
spend more time with family and friends

Those resolutions never seem to last anyway...

do vow to appreciate what I have today:  good health, time with family and friends, financial stability, time to do what I love most:  reading, writing, running, biking, walking my new doggie (more about her to come), and adequate space for everything I need. I may not have an overabundance of these things, but I have what I need right now.  Overly high expectations of myself and others invariably lead to a dead end.

I think, in this new year of 2012, we could all use a bit less self-transformation and a bit more self-appreciation. Let's turn down a notch our unending quests to try harder or be better versions of ourselves. Let's find more contentment with who we are right now and appreciate what we accomplish every day just by authentically being ourselves. Not ideal, airbrushed, romanticized versions of ourselves, but rather the real, imperfect, genuine and good enough ones.

The concept of not trying harder contradicts everything we read and see these days, but I truly believe we accomplish more when we positively focus on what we are versus what we could be. On what we're doing right versus doing wrong. Awareness of our present situation helps us recognize what's working good enough in our lives, and how certain unrealistic ideals can simply be let go. Often this simple, singular approach can work even better than setting numerous goals that not only are vague but also don't account for the way we are wired.

We all know that trying to make changes without articulating why, when and how we are going to do it brings us down more than it brings us results. But what's more, often times change is not what we really need anyway.  Perhaps it's more about shifting our focus to what we do best and seeing that we have most, if not all, the inner resources we need to be satisfied and content. We have windows of opportunity already: we just need to pay attention to them.

Very content horses from my homestate, Indiana.

So here's to focusing on what we're doing right in our lives as opposed to what we're doing wrong. I'll bet a million bucks that the good energy and self-acknowledgement coming from that exercise will bring some powerful results.


Cheers, 2012!


-Katie








12.21.2011

Hail To All Ye Procrastinators

Flickr








I bear glad tidings and even better news!

I've found a plethora of great gifts out there for those of us who like to do our Christmas shopping in the fast lane:  last minute.  Although I started shopping for gifts at the beginning of December, I was still shopping online yesterday and may buy some little gems today or tomorrow.  With sites like Amazon and eBay, you can get killer deals shipped free in one or two days.

Amen, Brother!

Flickr

This newfangled thing they call the internet is so beneficial to those of us who don't have all their little Christmas geese in a row. Of course, being an objective proponent of peoples' personal preferences, I should mention that I think it's just ducky that some people are so organized they have their holiday cards stamped and ready to go on Thanksgiving... the entire year before.  We may accurately assume that these are the same people who have their underwear drawer alphabetized by brand and color.

Again, not a judgment, just an observation.

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But I, for one, am not one of those people.  And yet, who cares?  I choose to be true to my nature, stick with my strengths, and retain some merriment of the season, rather than exhaust myself with other peoples' expectations.  That is why I now send out New Year's cards every year instead of Christmas cards.  And these are the paperless kind- on Smilebox Greetings.  (Another great invention for people such as myself, which tells me there may be one or two others like me out there, remaining incognito.)

This way I can drum up the best of the year's pictures, add in some little captions and call it a day.  I really enjoy (and am pretty good at) creating photo collages, and selecting accompanying music and backgrounds.  Most importantly, I can do it the week after Christmas, when the frenzy is over.


In doing so I have embraced my aversion to post offices, buying stamps, ordering cards in time, and hand addressing 100 envelopes.  I've officially declared myself free from my most dreaded part of the season. Plus I save a few trees in the process.
colormegreen

I used to be much harder on myself, and I still find myself stressed and overwhelmed by the things that I am obligated to do.  For example, I do like to get everyone's presents to them by Christmas.  (I know, crazy huh?) And I find that a not-so-easy task, especially since that requires a lot of practical planning.

But I don't stress the stuff that really isn't necessary and just wigs me out.  So I send out e-cards versus snail mails, and go to a cookie party with bakery cookies versus home baked.

            (Trust, me the bakery I use does a bang up job on iced cookies.)  
Annie's Picks

The way I look at it, the more people who rebel against the status quo the easier and more festive this  season will become.  Therefore, I am helping out society by being one of those "holiday slackers."

You may thank me later.

I have one last plea, however, and that is to the retailers out there who seem to chastise consumers for buying after December 15th.  I ask of these advertisers:
                      Why must thou rub it in? 

Why use phrases such as, "Last Minute Shoppers rejoice!  You still have time!" or, like the Land's End promotional e-mail today read, "On Dasher, On Dancer on Procrastinator."

(Seriously, at least be funny if you are going to chide us like that.)

Why must we be labeled as "procrastinators?"  Why not just call us "ne'er do wells" or "hanger-ons" while you're at it?  Don't you know we all prefer to do things differently?!!  Where is the love, the understanding, the compassion for individual styles?

Couldn't you say something like, "Hooray!  You did it!!!  You stuck it out for the really good deals!  Way to push the envelope, Ye Non-conformists!"

But alas, I have little faith my pleas will be heard.



And no matter!  I shall now enjoy a cup of steamed milk with cinnamon and honey, in this festive holiday mug pictured above, and see what else I can still get "guaranteed by the 23rd."

(Hopefully I'm safe to assume that's the 23rd of December, not February or March.)


12.04.2011

"Mommy, Why Can't Girls Be President?"

Flickr

This question came from my seven year-old daughter's mouth, just the other day.

And then came my response, "Oh they can, Sweetie.  But, ummmmm....  Hmmm.  Let me think about that."

There are a million things I could have told her, but where does one even begin?

Since she was born, I had naively hoped that she would never question whether girls were as smart or capable as boys, or whether women could be just as effective leaders as men.  We're so much farther along than when I was her age, after all.  But, silly me, I had forgotten that numbers speak for themselves:

Male Presidents of the United States: 44
Female Presidents of the United States: zippo




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So why wouldn't she start asking questions like that?

Now, to make matters worse, here are the numbers for female corporate leadership representation  (note, she's not been privy to these stats yet):

Percentage of women in the U.S. labor force: 46.3%
Percentage of female Fortune 500 corporate officers: 15.4%
Percentage of female Fortune 500 CEO's: 2.4%

Sheesh.

(Click here to read the rest: http://www.womenonbusiness.com/new-us-women-in-business-statistics-released-by-catalyst/)

But back to the conversation at hand.  I managed to continue my response with:  "Women can most certainly be President.  There are female presidents in other countries for example.  However, here in the United States we've not had very many women run for President.  And to be President you have to be elected."

I decided not to throw out heavy hitters such as "sexism, patriarchal society, domesticity, women's suffrage, and historical ramifications of misogyny."  I thought that might be a bit much for a second grader.

But I dread the next question I'm going to get once she hears that the 19th Amendment wasn't added to the Constitution until 1920, which is:  "Why weren't women even allowed to vote, mommy?"

My answer will probably be something short and sweet like, "because the men running the show were ignorant- or afraid of-women's capabilities, honey." This barely scratches the surface, of course.

******************

As a career coach, I help individuals pursue a personally challenging and healthy path to professional fulfillment.  And although I absolutely encourage clients to pursue whatever career they design,  I wouldn't quite call running for President of United States the healthiest of all pursuits, especially for women.  Though male presidential candidates are under an unprecedented amount of personal scrutiny, women face sexism above and beyond the frenzied media probing.  For this reason alone, I am hardly surprised women are not coming out in droves wanting to run for Congress, much less for the Presidency.  I personally would rather have a root canal on each of my teeth than put up with the ummm... let's call them "shenanigans"... that go along with political campaigns.

Yet we all know the irony:  if more women who, generally speaking, have an innate ability to bring people together and decrease friction, don't enter the political arena, we'll stay put in our divisive American politics with a paucity of female presence.  Furthermore, once we gain gender diversity, problem solving will evolve to a much more sophisticated level than it remains today.

But in the meantime, I'm doing my little part with my daughter.  I show her how I share my talents by helping people thrive in their careers and lives.  I help her appreciate her joys in life and what makes for good brain candy.  I'm careful not to put down any career as "unworthy" or, at the other end, completely unattainable; she's only seven, for Pete's sake!  Even pro basketball is fair game in my opinion (and I can honestly say this only because she's is in the 5th percentile in height and has shown NO interest.)

As for the mother/daughter discussion of no female presidents, I borrowed a clever little book, Grace for President, from the local library.  It's a small step, but at least it's a step, in my own home.  And I'm not embarrassed to say that I cried a little bit when we read the book together.

Here's to the next generation of women:  may you have the choice to do whatever it is you are meant to do.


http://www.amazon.com/Grace-President-Kelly-DiPucchio/dp/B001Q3M5RQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318971658&sr=8-1

11.29.2011

Gotta Love the Crossed Eye

I'm going to describe someone to you and you get to guess what his profession is.

Ready?

Alright...

Get set...

Go!

*Enthusiastic
*Motivational
*Friendly
*Lively
*Warm
*Personable
*Knowledgeable
*Thorough
*Intelligent

Any clue yet?

How about:

*Communicative
*Fast Paced
*Quick thinker
*Reassuring
*Science lover
*Fascinated by physics
*Gregarious

And, lastly:

*Sports fan
*Consultant to star athletes like baseball player Christian Guzman, soccer legend Mia Hamm, and former Redskins player, Clinton Portis.
*Has been featured on major news stations

Have you figured out his profession yet?

Well, if you guessed "optometrist," you would be correct.  And if you said, "one who specializes in sports vision," well then, you are a freakin' genius!

Thankfully, this optometrist also works with everyday blokes, including those who are blessed with a crossed eye.

And that would be me.

Turning 40 has brought with it all sorts of interesting problems, only one of which I will mention in this blog.  (And when a crossed eye is your least embarrassing issue, you know things are kind of bad.)  I discovered I had this problem, also known as Esotropia, within two weeks of turning 40, so I absolutely blame it on age.  And why not?  Aging pretty much sucks when it comes to physical deterioration.

I didn't know I had this Esotropia deal until I went to an optometrist, because neither I nor anyone who looked at me could tell that my right eye invariably turned inward.  I just knew it was increasingly difficult for me to focus a few feet in front of me.  Fortunately I found this vision specialist, Dr. Smithson.  Although he mainly deals in Pediatric and Sports Vision Optometry, he has helped little ol' crossed eyed me.

But what really struck me when I first met him was his dynamic and enthusiastic personality.  This is the only health care provider that has made me feel really interested in his area of specialty.  His enthusiasm is catching!  Moreover,  he made me want to do my little exercises that take up precious free time.  If anyone else had told me that I would have to spend several hundred dollars on a software program that eats up 20 minutes of my time every day I would've groaned in agony.  Because seriously, who has the money and time for that??  If it's not going to make me skinnier, richer, smarter or more attractive why bother?  (This is where the superficial side of me rears its ugly head.)

I realized what a persuasive and motivational person he was when I came home and told my husband about the prescribed eye therapy.  Here's a snippet of our conversation:

Husband:  So how did your eye appointment go?  Do you need to be kicked in the head by a mule to make your eye uncross?

Me:  Very funny! Nope,  I have this great new program that is going to fix it.

Husband:  Really?  What?

Me:  It's a software program that I'll use every day to correct my eye from turning inward.  It's kind of like a video game.

Husband:  Hmmm... sounds interesting.  How much did it cost?

Me:  $500.

Husband:  Wow.

Me:  Yeah, it really was expensive.  But it's my eyesight we're talking about!

Husband:  I know, I know, it's fine. But it did cost more than I thought it would.  And what about the time commitment?  How long will it take?

Me:  20 minutes a day for the next few months.

Husband:  Really?


(This is where it starts to dawn on me that perhaps I'd been duped by my eye doctor.  Somehow he'd goaded me into thinking I was fortunate to be doing these eye exercises!)


Me:  Yeah.... I guess it is kind of a raw deal, isn't it?  I hadn't really thought of it that way until now.

And really, it does kind of stink to have to spend time and dollars on this therapy I'd never thought I'd need.  But you know, every time I go in to see Dr. Smithson, he always has a way of encouraging me to keep at my exercises, to keep trying new tricks, to give me different solutions to my obstacles.  In essence, he makes me believe that I can overcome this problem, even when I feel like I'm getting nowhere.  And that positivity helps me keep in mind how fortunate I am to have an alternative to surgery.

So, you may wonder, why am I telling you about all this cross-eyed nonsense?  Because I find it's so refreshing when someone loves what they do, when they take what could be a mundane or boring day of appointments and make it lively and enjoyable for themselves and their patients.  Other optometrists I've seen throughout my life just go through the motions.  They don't seem nearly as captivated by their subject or their patients' problems and definitely not very enthusiastic about helping them overcome those problems.  My guess is they probably don't have a great career fit.   Or, if they do have a fairly good fit, they don't see how they can make it a great fit by tweaking a few things.  Specializing in something they are fascinated by can make all the difference.

Which is why Dr. Smithson has received this kind of praise for his work:


"...one of the most energetic, professional, knowledgeable and most importantly, thorough clinicians I've ever worked with. In any medical discipline."
-Eric Waters Head Athletic Trainer, Washington Wizards

"After my first appointment with Dr. Smithson, it was obvious that he was not your typical eye doctor... Dr. Smithson's experience and personable disposition far exceeded my expectations.... "  

-Brian Bocock Philadelphia Phillies shortstop


Pretty telling, huh?  Coach/motivator/ eye specialist/problem solver is how I'd begin to describe Dr. Smithson.  Can you really label him as just an optometrist?  Of course not.  And that's why I find job titles extremely limiting.  They don't adequately describe what elements allow a person to be outstanding in a given field.

I can see why professional athletes and coaches turn to him for making a difference in their careers .  He followed his talents and his fascinations, which makes him a superstar in his own right.  Who isn't motivated by someone like that?

11.22.2011

Why Talent is Rarely Overrated

The "talent is overrated" notion has been touted in best-selling books over the past few years.  And, like any trend, its wave is cresting... and perhaps soon to be crashing?

I shan't make any predictions, however, because I'm the last person on Earth to forecast trends.  I never seem to understand how trends come and go, much less what the masses will go for next.  Whenever I look at an issue of Vogue I'm always convinced that the designers have huge disasters on their hands.

Take Exhibit A:

StyleBistro


I personally find the above "shoes" quite unattractive, not to mention borderline masochistic, but what do I know?  I'm apparently not privy to the appeal of an Alexander McQueen piece d'art ... or the Kardashians, if you'll recall.

But I do know quite a bit about talent, and overlooking this bit of info is the exact opposite of what I'm always harping on.  In my mind, it's quite obvious that talent is largely underrated in our society. Trendy or not, talent first needs to be personally acknowledged and then honed and worked on for the 10,000 hours that true world class performers achieve.  So many people waste their time honing skills that will never amount to much because the natural talent isn't there.  If you're going to put in your 10K, shouldn't you do something you've got a real shot at achieving?

The plethora of high school and college graduates floundering, living at home until they "find themselves," is one big juicy clue.  Couple this with the fact that many of them were once extremely hardworking, ambitious students creates even more suspicion that they've been led in the "hard work comes first" direction. In other words,  these kids worked their butts off to get the best grades, the best SAT scores, and into the best colleges.  But with no inner-led direction and sense of natural abilities, then what?

Further down the road of young peoples' lives comes even more substantial evidence.  Just look at the large population of adults, 25+, who are unhappily employed, confused and overwhelmed.  Many are the other former academic aces who grabbed the first big jobs offered to them.  However, they discover after a few years that the great career that made their parents proud and friends envious, is nothing close to what they really wanted (whatever that may possibly be.)

Apparently, we need to be able to name our talents, our preferences and our abilities from a younger age than 40+.  (This is the typical age when people seek career help after years of frustration.) From high school onward, why not name these strengths and use them to guide students to success and satisfaction?  Then the hard work, obviously essential to success, can be purposeful, efficient and effective.

Now, granted, these aforementioned 'talent-is-overrated' books make some really good points.   However, in our fast paced age of sound bytes and information overload, everyone judges books solely by their covers, which means whatever points these authors make in all those pesky pages go largely unread and ignored. These catchy titles get reiterated and expanded on, which means articles pop up everywhere, touting the veracity of these very general notions.

In response,  I've decided to give my unsolicited, pretty darn unhip explanation for why titles such as Talent is Overrated and The Talent Code, to name just a few, are so appealing.   Here are the top three mentalities that make these book titles popular:

Mentality Number One 

"I can do anything I want to if I just work hard enough.  Talent is not just for a selected few."


Mentality Number Two

"My dream alone will sustain me to the end."

or, my personal favorite,

"If you can dream it you can do it!"

Where's my hanky?  Sounds like a bumper sticker in the making... or a best selling book title.


Mentality Number Three

"There are so many lazy people out there who fail because they try to get by on their talent alone.  Obviously hard work is more important." 


Okay.  At least the first sentence is true:  there are a slew of lazy people that try to get by on their innate gifts, especially when those gifts have been well revered since their youth. 


But remember, there are some people who actually have no relevant talent or general work ethic and yet still succeed.  I will not name names.


*********************

Unfortunately, this conventional wisdom circa 2011(soon-to-be-2012) is really the last thing we need to be focused on.  The idea that hard work makes talent nearly meaningless is oversimplification at its best.

To their detriment, very few people know the specific language of aptitudes and strengths, and are therefore unable to identify specific talent in themselves (what works, what doesn't and how to sell themselves in an interview.) Nor can they recognize necessary talent in others (as in, hire the person who has the relevant abilities, rather than just a requisite pedigree.)

And while it will mean less turmoil and pointless work in the long run, discovering what makes you tick is more daunting to people because it requires stopping and thinking rather than just plowing ahead and making no headway.  Ever heard the phrase, "don't know where I'm going, but I'm sure making good time!"?  That pretty much sums up this method.


Unfortunately for mass marketing purposes, self- knowledge is much more complex than a simplistic, catchy title. But who knows, maybe economic times will force the issue.  And a recent article in The New York Times gives me hope that someone is trying to dispel the myth that all work and no talent makes Jack a successful boy.


Until then, I've got a Grow-endorsed book title for America.  It's called,
Success: The Intersection of Talent, Hard Work, and Following Your Fascinations.
What's that you say?  It won't sell?

Okay.

Hmmm... How about this pithy little number?
Ability Schmability: Make Big Bucks Doing Whatever You Want
Excuse me now while I call my literary agent.  She'll be all over this one.

 Via Flickr

11.06.2011

Meet the Design Team!


All of these members of the design team were busy high school seniors when they designed my website this past spring and summer.  They are now busy high school graduates tending to their very full lives: attending art schools, working with designers, creating their own ventures, and pursuing colleges degrees.

Thought you might want to know a little bit about them... 





Tayler Aitken

 
PERSONALITY TYPE: ISFJ

PASSIONATE ABOUT: Photography

FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TOY: My teddy bear

FASCINATED BY: The way people think and the world around me

CREATING MYSELF MEANS: Discovering yourself and becoming who you are and what you want to be

MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE: Outdoorsy things- biking, fishing, etc.

REALLY GOOD AT: Organizing (lame I know!)







Amanda Alves



PERSONALITY TYPE: ENFP

FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TOY: Sega Genesis

MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE: Dancing!

FAVORITE TOOL: Adobe Illustrator

FASCINATED BY: The moon and stars

REALLY GOOD AT: Listening to and helping out with my friend's problems. 

REQUIRED DAILY: Being happy.

NEED TO: Figure out my major for college! 






Ben Finfrock


PERSONALITY TYPE: ISTP

WANT TO: Take a cross country trip, see real things

NEED TO LEARN HOW TO: Surf

MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE: Observing people

WORD THAT DESCRIBES ME: Lone wolf 

FASCINATED BY: People

FAVORITE CHILDHOOD OBJECTS: Spider Man, comic books

PASSIONATE ABOUT:  Art with movement








Sophie McGale




Personality Type: ENFP

Favorite Childhood Toy: The woods

Passionate About: Creativity and the human experience

Need To: Figure all of this out

Fascinated By: Everything in and outside the natural world, motivated by a desire for understanding

Really Good At: Arts and crafts

Creating Myself Means: Understanding and using the gifts and talents I’ve been given to best glorify my own existence to understand how I was made for something beautiful





Brenna Powers


PERSONALITY TYPE: INFJ

PASSIONATE ABOUT: Animals, animation, art, aquariums, music.


CHILDHOOD TOY: Cat beanie baby

SAVING MY MONEY TO BUY: A Pacific Green parrotlet and a giant fish tank.

FASCINATED BY: Animals, psychology, animation, people in general. 

CREATING MYSELF MEANS: Being happy with the person I am and the things I've accomplished.

 REQUIRED DAILY: Doodling wherever and whenever I can.




Alexa Sears

PERSONALITY TYPE: ENFP

FAVORITE TOOL:  Computer graphics

NEED: Variety

FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TOY: Dad’s teddy bear and blanket

ENJOY: Antique hunting

MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE: Running (it's a "place" to think)


11.03.2011

Five Steps to Designing a Great Webpage




Flickr: Fab4chiky




Step One: gather together creative, talented individuals, give them paint, snacks, an old art book, and a giant canvas




Step Two:  tear out pages from old art book and affix them to the canvas






Step Three: paint the letters on the paper

















(Be sure to add glitter. ALWAYS add glitter.)






Step Four: take photos of letters




(helpful hint: find a cutie pie to prop up canvas)









Outdoor, natural light is best.  
Plus, bringing a giant canvas onto the front lawn confuses the neighbors.  
Bonus.





Step 4.5: don't forget to photograph the sunflower! 








Step Five:  enlist a very talented individual to put it all on the computer.  (Thanks, Brenna!)








Stay tuned to meet the design team!!!


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