A Hushed Meditation for 2016

 Before Thanksgiving I published a post about aiming for a hushed, rather than a rushed, holiday season.

I won't pretend that I followed ALL of my own advice down to a tee, but I did manage to be mindful in many new ways. However, my biggest nemesis, Ye Olde Perfectionism, refused to take a holiday! Trying to perfect every single thing is impossible, of course, but when there's lots of stuff on your plate, perfectionism becomes more aggravating than an itchy Christmas sweater on dry skin.

(Go ahead... chew on the that image for a while and see if you don't start scratching.)

But I'm used to having to outsmart perfectionism. Walking helped, as did writing, yoga, reading, playing games with my family, and putting antlers on my dog, Cloey Margaret.

Someone did not like her antlers.

But another trick that worked super well was meditation. In fact, over the holidays I created a new little 10 minute meditation to escape the busyness of the season, and I thought I'd share it with you now, in the new year. I think we can all use a bit of mindful slowing down, no matter what season. 

I hope you enjoy it!

-Katie

Sometime today or this evening, find a quiet place where you may either sit or lie down. Make sure you are in a very comfortable position.

Close your eyes and imagine you are in a clean, quiet, white space. You are alone, surrounded by pure, calming whiteness.

As you imagine this place, let your mind drift throughout your body, allowing every inch of your body to loosen and relax. 

Slowly take several deep breaths in and several deep breaths out. Focus on breathing in peace and breathing out tension. Allow yourself to do this until your body and breathing are calm and relaxed. 

Now, with your eyes still closed, imagine you have a very simple, empty white basket that you place on the floor a few feet away. You may imagine what it looks like or you may not even look at it at all. It's just there, sitting by you.

As thoughts of what you need to do at work or at home come to mind, allow each thought to float into the basket. This is where you may place tasks on your to do list, your worries and fears and anything else that may be causing you distress. Trust that this basket is an adequate, safe place for those thoughts to go. By placing these thoughts there, you are giving yourself the calm and serenity that your mind and body need right now.

As you let these thoughts float to the basket, remember to continue to breathe in calm and exhale tension. Allow your mind to find peace in this very moment. Allow your body to replenish itself with calming, nourishing breaths. 

As you do this, you might find that your mind gradually replaces all worries with gratitude for the moment that exists right here, right now. No need to think about the past or worry about the future.  The only gift to focus on is right here, right now.

Focus on this relaxing breathing and meditation for as long as you are able.

When you are ready, gently open your eyes and come back to a place of peacefulness. Allow this meditative time to refocus on the moment, as it is and your place in it. Bring to the moment your renewed energy and calm peace of mind.

Create Your Own Path

"If a path exists, that path belongs to someone else." 

- Joseph Campbell

Bare Branches

Have you ever noticed a tree standing naked against the sky,

How beautiful it is?

All its branches are outlined, and in its nakedness

There is a poem, there is a song.

Every leaf is gone and it is waiting for the spring.

When the spring comes, it again fills the tree with

The music of many leaves,

Which in due season fall and are blown away.

And this is the way of life.

- Jiddu Krishnamurti

A Hushed Holiday in Five Easy Steps

We have entered the holiday season, now that we are practically on top of Thanksgiving, and my understanding is that there's no going back.

But not to worry!

Here are some things to remember. 

(Okay, I need to remember these things, so I thought I would share my holiday TO DO and NOT DO list with you...  in hopes that you might need to remember these things too.)

1. PURPOSEFUL GIVING 

Determine NOW what causes you want to give to and about how much you'd like to give. Make a list. Everyone and their brother, sister and step-grandmother are going to be asking you for money. How do you know when to say yes, no or how much? By prioritizing what is most important to you over the next few weeks (i.e. the holidays.) And if it's a great cause you're wanting to give to but you happen to not have a trust fund handy, mark a date in March- several weeks and pay periods later- to revisit making an investment of time and/or money. And sometimes that feels better than just telling someone "no."

 2. MONEY 

But wait, there's more to say about money! 

Oh, Man...

The gifts. Yeah, the gifts. Again, thinking in advance about what you'd like to spend- and sticking to it- does help. Lists are key here as well. Writing your intentions down in advance for the gifts you want to give is a beautiful thing.

But what if you aren't a planner? What if planning makes you a very grumpy snowman? Here's a thought: just manage expectations as you buy. Stick to your promise to not overspend on gifts and put less pressure on yourself when selecting the "best-ever" present. What about giving an experience like making someone dinner? Or what about a gift card for a reasonable amount tucked inside a fun little card that has been handmade by you, a local artisan or your little Rembrandt in diapers? Just a thought.

3. FORGET THE DEALS 

Deals might be more about you than the recipient. Do they really want your great deal on a wok if they hate to cook? It doesn't matter if Macy's took twelve of your coupons on Black Friday, taking it down from $59.99 to  $3.99 plus tax, it's still useless to those who care not for woks. Plus it took a lot of your precious holiday time and effort using all of those coupons. (Take it from me: I tried going to Macy's once on Black Friday with coupons and shudder at the experience.)

But how about knock-offs? As their name indicates, knock-offs aren't the real thing. Nor are "steals" on Craig's List or Ebay.  For example, one year my husband and I were trying to be clever and thrifty and got a great deal on an American Girl Doll from Craig's List. However, as my husband and I discovered, there is usually a reason these dolls are being sold for less. So if you happen to be in the market for an AGD here'rs our recommendation: if you believe the recipient might want a doll who's head stays on, you may want to pay the retail price on the (gulp!) actual website. It would've saved us a ton of time and energy had we just gone the regular route.

4. PERFECT SCHMERFECT

 

Do NOT, I say, do NOT, be a perfectionist. The funniest holiday movies are based on the ridiculous   notion that there exists a so-called Perfect Holiday, when no one fights, every dinner is perfect, and homes practically decorate themselves in magazine-worthy splendor. I'm sure there are some families who have that fortune, but I try to avoid hanging around them lest I feel less-than merry and bright.

5. HUSH 

I say, let's try for a hushed holiday season, as opposed to a rushed one. Be selective about what you want to spend your time doing. And if there are fewer jam-packed days, let little moments of fun linger, allow quiet time to last longer and permit yourself to laugh as much as possible. Play a game with friends and/or family for the sole purpose of having a good time. (I know, that's deep, right?) A game that has no real point is always good in my book. 

And speaking of books, take time to read books and watch movies that make you reflect, chuckle or just remember what's important to you. Plenty of people want to tell you what should be important to you, but what are your priorities? What is most valuable to you?

I'll tell you what I most value this time of year: quiet time. 

It's priceless.

How to Grow Old Gracefully

This wonderful, eclectic group of individuals gives us wisdom on growing older.
Watch How to Grow Old Gracefully

Enjoy and have a great weekend!

-Katie

Fishin' With My Dad

When I returned to my home state of Indiana in August, I took my dad fishing. 

It was a gloriously warm, late summer afternoon. A perfect day to be out on the lake.

Yet despite the perfect weather, I had to practically drag my father there, kicking and screaming.

It's not like he hates to fish or anything. In fact, my old man is the consummate fisherman. He's undoubtedly logged over 10,000 hours of fishing during his lifetime, which many claim to be the tipping point of mastery.

One millionth Crappie caught
(Note: this is an approximation.)

No, my dad went to the lake kicking and screaming because, like many of us, he'd forgot how much he needed to do something fun.

We've all been there, right?  When we're really, really busy and stressed, the last thing we want to do is to stop and take time to relax. And that's where my dad was mentally.

He'd been worried about my mom, who's recovering from a major stroke, and so busy taking care of bills, the house, the insurance and the endless medical forms, that he'd forgotten it was okay to take not just any old break, but a really good, replenishing one.

Lucky for him, Dad has two loving daughters who relentlessly remind him to take care of himself. 

And that afternoon, this daughter prescribed a healthy dose of fishing.

****

Our first stop: the tackle and bait shop. 

This fishing lure is the only hot pink item my dad owns.
He insists pink doesn't go well with camouflage or plaid flannel shirts.

While Dad went in for bait I stayed outside admiring the landscaping. Ever seen this concept for a flower bed on Pinterest? 

Me neither! Who knew a rusty old truck could be so useful?

However, it does take you back a bit...

Anyway, once we got out on the lake guess who had a perfectly marvelous time fishing?

Yup. My old man.

And who was that brilliant individual who suggested it again?

She had a pretty good time too.

Watch Me, Watch Me!

My son has recently become fascinated by the "Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)" craze, a pop rap song by Silento that features a series of dance moves. The song has gone viral and has inspired hundreds of self-made dance videos around the world. (I think we've watched way too many versions, but this one, featuring some very rhythmically-gifted kids, is his favorite.) And I will declare- albeit as his mother- that my little guy is THE CUTEST when he dances to the music.

Of course, not everyone is as charmed by the song as my tiny dancer. Critics question the quality of the song itself and find it's overly-simplistic lyrics mediocre at best. My brother-in-law, for instance, has dubbed it "the song of our times," illustrating how society is all about self-centeredness. And, in his opinion, the song's refrain of "watch me, watch me" perfectly exemplifies that phenomenon.

Hmmm.... I certainly can't argue with him there. I too am weary of the over-sharing, self-indulgent individuals who love to provide the media with sensationalism.

However, in the midst of all of this selfie-laden frenzy I try to remember that there can be greatness in self-expression. Not self-aggrandizement or behavior meant only to attract attention, but true, authentic self-expression. Sharing our talents, our joys, our interests and passions with others,
isn't that really what it means to connect with one another?

To engage in life and share what we believe is worth sharing?

I can't count the number of times when someone's personal story has helped me figure out a problem I've been grappling with. Or when someone's well thought-out insights have transformed my way of thinking and behaving. And I can point to numerous moments throughout my life when I've been profoundly touched by someone else's self-expression through film, dance, music, art, writing, photography, performance or athletic feats.

In fact, here's a great example from Upworthy that shows of the power of sharing music through opera.

I'll readily admit that the cynic in me never ceases to be appalled by what is shared by people who eat notoriety and fame for breakfast. ('Cause over-sharing is NOT caring!) But the idealist in me gives some of these folks the benefit of the doubt and believes that the hidden motivation behind the majority of blowhards and show-stealers is this: they want to be heard, just as we all want to be heard. They want to make an impact but they don't know what kind of impact. They want to express themselves and no longer feel invisible; however, they don't really know what they want to say or how to say it, and so it comes out too raw, too crass, too bombastic and lacks the integrity of a well thought-out expression of themselves.

So I've learned to sift through the noise and look for joy. Watching someone's unguarded, uninhibited enjoyment of expressing an impulse makes me feel like humanity might just have a chance.

And my son? Though he previously shunned any form of dancing has now been practicing his moves: spinning, handstands, hip wiggles and hops. He sings the song loud and proud and his classically trained singer-mom is thrilled. The fact that he's added a new dimension to how he moves his body and expresses himself makes me smile.

(I think I may have even seen some dance-inspired moves on the soccer field last weekend!)

And who do have to thank for getting my guy to take a second look at music and dance? I suppose I'm indebted to a 17 year-old boy named Ricky Lamar Hawk, otherwise known to his fans as "Silento", who decided he had something to share.

Photo Credit: "spotlight" Marcin Kargol via Flickr/Creative Commons