To Have and To Be... Enough

 "Sufficient"

I recently finished reading a book that continues to radiate well beyond the last page. You probably know what kind of book I'm talking about: you can't get it out of your head because it resonates with some major issues you've grappled with over the years.

This book, The Soul of Money, came recommended by a friend, and I in turn recommended it to others the minute I finished it. Written by global activist and fund-raiser, Lynne Twist, The Soul of Money gives the reader a refreshing perspective on wealth and resources, especially needed in our part of the globe where money underlies the majority of our transactions and decision-making.

Although we- myself included- all know intellectually that money isn't everything, that money doesn't buy happiness and that it shouldn't be the sole factor for determining something as important as our career choices, it still manages to needle its way into our subconscious, into our worries, anxieties, fears and ambitions. And I'm going to bet that those of us who think we're above the trappings of monetary worth are just as prone as anyone to being led by the power of the dollar. I truly believe that in cultures such as ours it's next to impossible to resist the urge to let money, status, recognition- or lack thereof- drive our motivations. Money sits on an inexplicably high pedestal, even though it's only one of many resources we have at our fingertips.

Which is why this book is such a breath of fresh air. Ms. Twist turned my unconscious assumptions about wealth, giving and resources on their heads. She points out the myth of scarcity, or the "not enough" syndrome:

Once we define our world as deficient, the total of our life energy, everything we think, everything we say, and everything we do- particularly with money-becomes an expression of an effort to overcome this sense of lack and the fear of losing to others or being left out. 

Scarcity and the "not enough" mind-set aren't just limited to money, as Ms. Twist points out in her book. When we look at the world through a lens of constant competition for limited resources, so many things seem insufficient and never enough. In my case, time often becomes this commodity that teeters on being almost too precious; instead of being able to breathe in the moment I find myself wanting to protect it, to hoard it, like I'll never have enough of it to do all the things I want to do. I can't seem to work efficiently enough, write fast enough, make dinner or get through my e-mails quickly enough. Life becomes less about appreciating moments and more about interests competing for time.

However, I've noticed this: when I look at time as just one of many resources, as Ms. Twist suggests, versus an overly precious commodity, I feel more appreciative and less stressed. Time becomes more of a gift, not a burden to be doled out sparingly. This mindset of sufficiency makes me rethink my to-do list, and I start crossing off those items that fall under the "more than enough" category.  Knowing that I have enough of what I truly need naturally eliminates time-wasting, unnecessary activities.  And through a lens of sufficiency, I no longer have a need to fiercely protect every minute from being squandered or wasted. I have more time to be available for what I know is important.

A Life Filled with Richness

The same thing is true with other resources. (And here's where it gets interesting!) If you think about it, many of us actually have a treasure trove of resources:

1) inner wealth (talents, multiple intelligences, skills, problem solving abilities, creativity, motivating passions)
2) communal wealth (motivational support from friends, family, colleagues, groups, organizations, potential contacts and references)

and yes, even

3) financial wealth (if can we pay or save for just what we need, not everything we want per se, but everything we absolutely need, then we are financially o.k.)

When we abandon the myth of scarcity and think instead of the abundant resources we don't even utilize we begin to make peace with who we are and what we have. We make better financial decisions, and become less desperate for all that we could have if we just made more money or had more time (or academic degrees, or work experience, etc..)  We discover that we have sufficiency when we take into account all of the relationships we've nurtured, the lives we have touched, all of the accomplishments we've worked hard to achieve and all of the talents we've honed along our life's journey.

And the most important revelation that comes from a place of sufficiency vs. scarcity? We discover that we have enough to share with others. It turns out that our resources, such as money and time, can transform from overly precious commodities to wonderful tools that make the world a better place. We look to the benefits of shared interests vs. competing interests.

Keeping Up With The Jones' (or is it The Kardashians?!)

It's when we look to others to tell us what we lack and what we just "have to have or life isn't worth living" that we begin to feel as if we are missing out on everything. So many messages out there can make us feel as we just can't ever have or be enough.  The messages come from a variety of sources but they all basically say the same thing: If we can just keep accumulating the best stuff, and earn more and more money then we and our loved ones will be protected from the travesty of not having "enough." Everything will be pure bliss once more is acquired.

But the crazy thing is, just the opposite happens. We actually become more vulnerable than ever. The more we give money so much power over our well-being- as if IT solves problems, not our brains and talents and creativity- the more anxious we become. This is because deep down we know that letting money be the sole dictator of our future puts us in an extremely vulnerable and volatile position. Alternatively, when we share our many resources we find a surprising amount of power.

Career/ $$$ /ME

Of course, receiving adequate pay for a job well done and time well spent is, and should be, a natural component of a career; yet there is so much more to life that has very little to do with being paid money. To allow financial wealth to define who we are and what we do is a true poverty in my mind. Our individual self-worth must far surpass our stock options, our earnings or earning potential, our homes, our cars, our clothing and our degrees (or lack thereof.)

 These items are hardly substitutes for a person's value and identity, wouldn't you agree?

And yet I've found that so much of the journalistic landscape focuses on how to be the wealthiest, most powerful person in ones domain. High profile entrepreneurs, CEO's and other high level executives are all pitted against each other in the media, with everyone guessing who's going to be on top from one week to another. But this emphasis on the competition for high status careers, prestige and great wealth diminishes the significance of personal assets, values, support systems, non-work life roles and ethical responsibilities of individuals and their organizations. It fails to mention the enormous potency of giving to one's community, volunteering time and money to those truly in need. It gives no credence to the being-a-friend time and the family time that mean so much but just aren't measured- thankfully- in dollar amounts.

It's no wonder that our young people think that if their futures don't involve being rich and/or famous than they'll have failed! The messages are pretty loud and clear.

Opt for Selective Hearing

Keeping in mind the scarcity myths being perpetuated from so many different outside sources, I myself am making some changes as far as what messages I choose to pay attention to. I've committed to avoiding articles, books and social media that propagate unnecessary dog-eat-dog competition for supposedly scarce resources. Instead, I'm increasing my reading of those words and messages that really matter. Books like The Soul of Money, which focus on giving, not just getting, are now on the top of my reading list.

What about you? Any good books or articles you'd like to recommend?

Please share them here!