Create Yourself ... Some Suggestions

found on Little Reminders of Love

picky picky picky

This is what my cup looks like at Starbucks:

Who knew you could write a doctoral thesis on the side of a Starbucks cup?

Well, you can!

I guess I'm just a picky person.  Which is exactly what you want in a career coach, by the way.  A good coach doesn't let you settle... like bitter coffee grounds at the bottom of your 100% post-consumer recycled cup.

(Why, oh why, must I insert less-than-stellar metaphors?!)

A good career coach doesn't tell you what you should do with your life, nor does she merely tweak your resume, upgrade your interviewing skills, pat you on the back and send you on your way.  While this process is, granted, a quick, easy and relatively cheap method, it's hardly sustainable or even that useful.

And why should creating yourself be easy and quick?  It's your life we're talking about here!

Here's why: If you want to really create your own life, your own work, your own message, you need to spend the time and, if necessary, the money to do it.   It all comes down to the old adage, "you get what you pay for."  And we all have choices in our time and monetary investments.  Even when don't think we think we do.

Take Exhibit A: chilius doggus

 I can stop in for a chili dog from the cafe at Target for less than $2 (presumably.)  I can do this now, pay in cash, eat my frankfurter and be done with it.  Food is in stomach and I can get on with my life.  (Okay, heartburn may ensue, but thankfully I'm at Target and they carry antacids.  Add $3.99.)

From the amazing Inn at Little Washington

Or, I can go to a five-star restaurant that serves nothing but the ultimate in culinary inventions.  However, this will take time- to save up the money to go, to make a reservation well in advance, to get dressed up, to wait while they prepare a sumptuous meal, and to savor each of the six courses... not to mention the amuse-bouche. But it's an experience that will always be with me.  And I will have learned what a master chef can create.

Now make the choice an even meatier one by deciding whether or not to invest in yourself and your future. The Target Cafe version of this choice equates to taking a free online assessment, perhaps even upgrading for $29.99 to do have a live 30 minute chat with a career specialist.  Talk about cheap and easy!  But you've really just wasted 30 minutes and 30 bucks on something that really doesn't do much of anything.  There's no depth, no real discovery.  You may think you haven't really lost that much, which is true, but you haven't gained anything either.  Except maybe increased frustration that it didn't work and a feeling that nothing will!

Be picky, is what I'm saying.  About your life, not just your stomach. Go with the Michelin five-starred restaurant: a career expert who cares about helping you clarify your goals and design the career that will make you soar.

Creating yourself, your work, your life's journey can be an intricate, time-consuming and absolutely exhilarating process. Don't skimp on the good stuff of career coaching- whoever you use.  (Although it should be me... I'm just saying... since I'm so picky and all...)

And Starbucks, I'll be back, for my Decaf, No Whip, Tall, Sugar Free Caramel Macchiotto with Soy.

Talk about an investment!

My New Baby Girl- Well Worth the Wait

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We welcomed a new family member just in time for Valentine's Day, and what a sweetheart she is!

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What's more, this whole experience has brought me no weight gain, morning sickness, or 9 1/2 months of pregnancy. All the love and joy with no night feedings.

 Who could ask for anything more?!

***************

Introducing my newest baby girl, Cloey.  Her full name, according to my daughter, is Cloey Margaret Rice.  When in France, she shall be known as Chloe Marguerite.  I don't know when she'll be in France, but one never knows.







And what a lovebug this gal is!!

She is so perfect- great with the little kids, friendly, playful, extremely obedient, loyal, easygoing and absolutely loving.  Awesome, right?

Interestingly, we'd been looking for just the right dog for an entire year.  We spent over two months waiting for our application with GRREAT (a Golden Retriever rescue organization) to be approved (it had gotten lost in the mail.)  Then we had to schedule a home visit, then we had to wait for our final go ahead.  Then, once we had been given the GRREAT stamp of approval, we had to find a dog that was okay for young children, and was of the right temperament for our home and lifestyle.  By the time we went to numerous Adoption Days and visited the website daily for updates on available dogs, almost a year had gone by!

We were getting discouraged.  We were passed over on several occasions because other families were somehow a better fit. My daughter kept getting disappointed that no doggies were crossing our threshold.  "We'll never get a dog!" and "How can I get excited about a dog when I don't know if she'll come home with us?" she'd lament.  The truth is, she had been wanting a dog for the past 2 years prior to this one, so this was  a really long wait for her.  Three years is an eternity for a seven year-old.  It's almost half her life!  I knew when I felt discouraged, she must have felt really down.

But once we found Cloey, we knew it was worth it.

The same goes for careers:  patience can be key.

I don't know how many times I've encouraged clients to hold out for an opportunity that is part of their vision.  And I can't count how many instances they've come back to me and said, "You know, Katie, you were right.  It's good I waited to find the right fit."

















So just when you say to yourself, "I will NEVER find the right career/opportunity/clients," your opportunity is probably just around the corner.

And in case you want to know, Cloey Margaret/ Chloe Marguerite is sleeping at my feet as I write this.

No wait!

She just woke up.  She said she agrees with everything I just said.

Now that's a smart dog.

REAL COMPLICATED... Life Made Even More Difficult*

*Name has been changed to protect the guilty


I just have to mention something I recently saw on a magazine rack, as it pertains to my last post regarding non resolutions.  If I don't tell you about this I'll just burst I will.

A magazine whose name I shan't mention had a whopper of a January issue. (Note: I always dub this mystery do-it-yourself rag "Real Complicated" because  I'm guessing it would take me two years just to accomplish half of the suggested projects in a single issue.  I've never attempted such a feat, so this is just an estimate.)

Here is how the January cover reads:

"Start Fresh This Year.  

 85 [??!] EXPERT STRATEGIES TO BREAK YOUR BAD HABITS FOR GOOD

REDUCE YOUR DEBT

LOSE WEIGHT FASTER

CLEAR THE CLUTTER

LEARN TO SAY NO

COOK SMARTER

REENERGIZE YOUR STYLE

and

BE HAPPIER NOW"

All in one issue!!  


After reading all that I felt like curling up in a ball in my grocery cart and taking a nap.

You see what I'm saying here?  A bit of a hefty load to carry for us mere mortals, no?

I think I'll stick with my non-resolutions.

It's working for me!

Some New Year's Non Resolutions

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Happy New Year!!

This year I don't resolve to:

lose weight
get organized
make more money
exercise more
write more
read more
or
spend more time with family and friends

Those resolutions never seem to last anyway...

I do vow to appreciate what I have today:  good health, time with family and friends, financial stability, time to do what I love most:  reading, writing, running, biking, walking my new doggie (more about her to come), and adequate space for everything I need. I may not have an overabundance of these things, but I have what I need right now.  Overly high expectations of myself and others invariably lead to a dead end.

I think, in this new year of 2012, we could all use a bit less self-transformation and a bit more self-appreciation. Let's turn down a notch our unending quests to try harder or be better versions of ourselves. Let's find more contentment with who we are right now and appreciate what we accomplish every day just by authentically being ourselves. Not ideal, airbrushed, romanticized versions of ourselves, but rather the real, imperfect, genuine and good enough ones.

The concept of not trying harder contradicts everything we read and see these days, but I truly believe we accomplish more when we positively focus on what we are versus what we could be. On what we're doing right versus doing wrong. Awareness of our present situation helps us recognize what's working good enough in our lives, and how certain unrealistic ideals can simply be let go. Often this simple, singular approach can work even better than setting numerous goals that not only are vague but also don't account for the way we are wired.

We all know that trying to make changes without articulating why, when and how we are going to do it brings us down more than it brings us results. But what's more, often times change is not what we really need anyway.  Perhaps it's more about shifting our focus to what we do best and seeing that we have most, if not all, the inner resources we need to be satisfied and content. We have windows of opportunity already: we just need to pay attention to them.

Very content horses from my homestate, Indiana.

So here's to focusing on what we're doing right in our lives as opposed to what we're doing wrong. I'll bet a million bucks that the good energy and self-acknowledgement coming from that exercise will bring some powerful results.

Cheers, 2012!


-Katie

Hail To All Ye Procrastinators

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I bear glad tidings and even better news!

I've found a plethora of great gifts out there for those of us who like to do our Christmas shopping in the fast lane:  last minute.  Although I started shopping for gifts at the beginning of December, I was still shopping online yesterday and may buy some little gems today or tomorrow.  With sites like Amazon and eBay, you can get killer deals shipped free in one or two days.

Amen, Brother!

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This newfangled thing they call the internet is so beneficial to those of us who don't have all their little Christmas geese in a row. Of course, being an objective proponent of peoples' personal preferences, I should mention that I think it's just ducky that some people are so organized they have their holiday cards stamped and ready to go on Thanksgiving... the entire year before.  We may accurately assume that these are the same people who have their underwear drawer alphabetized by brand and color.

Again, not a judgment, just an observation.

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But I, for one, am not one of those people.  And yet, who cares?  I choose to be true to my nature, stick with my strengths, and retain some merriment of the season, rather than exhaust myself with other peoples' expectations.  That is why I now send out New Year's cards every year instead of Christmas cards.  And these are the paperless kind- on Smilebox Greetings.  (Another great invention for people such as myself, which tells me there may be one or two others like me out there, remaining incognito.)

This way I can drum up the best of the year's pictures, add in some little captions and call it a day.  I really enjoy (and am pretty good at) creating photo collages, and selecting accompanying music and backgrounds.  Most importantly, I can do it the week after Christmas, when the frenzy is over.


In doing so I have embraced my aversion to post offices, buying stamps, ordering cards in time, and hand addressing 100 envelopes.  I've officially declared myself free from my most dreaded part of the season. Plus I save a few trees in the process.

colormegreen

I used to be much harder on myself, and I still find myself stressed and overwhelmed by the things that I am obligated to do.  For example, I do like to get everyone's presents to them by Christmas.  (I know, crazy huh?) And I find that a not-so-easy task, especially since that requires a lot of practical planning.

But I don't stress the stuff that really isn't necessary and just wigs me out.  So I send out e-cards versus snail mails, and go to a cookie party with bakery cookies versus home baked.

            (Trust, me the bakery I use does a bang up job on iced cookies.)  

Annie's Picks

The way I look at it, the more people who rebel against the status quo the easier and more festive this  season will become.  Therefore, I am helping out society by being one of those "holiday slackers."

You may thank me later.

I have one last plea, however, and that is to the retailers out there who seem to chastise consumers for buying after December 15th.  I ask of these advertisers:

                      Why must thou rub it in? 

Why use phrases such as, "Last Minute Shoppers rejoice!  You still have time!" or, like the Land's End promotional e-mail today read, "On Dasher, On Dancer on Procrastinator."

(Seriously, at least be funny if you are going to chide us like that.)

Why must we be labeled as "procrastinators?"  Why not just call us "ne'er do wells" or "hanger-ons" while you're at it?  Don't you know we all prefer to do things differently?!!  Where is the love, the understanding, the compassion for individual styles?

Couldn't you say something like, "Hooray!  You did it!!!  You stuck it out for the really good deals!  Way to push the envelope, Ye Non-conformists!"

But alas, I have little faith my pleas will be heard.

And no matter!  I shall now enjoy a cup of steamed milk with cinnamon and honey, in this festive holiday mug pictured above, and see what else I can still get "guaranteed by the 23rd."

(Hopefully I'm safe to assume that's the 23rd of December, not February or March.)

"Mommy, Why Can't Girls Be President?"

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This question came from my seven year-old daughter's mouth, just the other day.

And then came my response, "Oh they can, Sweetie.  But, ummmmm....  Hmmm.  Let me think about that."

There are a million things I could have told her, but where does one even begin?

Since she was born, I had naively hoped that she would never question whether girls were as smart or capable as boys, or whether women could be just as effective leaders as men.  We're so much farther along than when I was her age, after all.  But, silly me, I had forgotten that numbers speak for themselves:

Male Presidents of the United States: 44
Female Presidents of the United States: zippo

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So why wouldn't she start asking questions like that?

Now, to make matters worse, here are the numbers for female corporate leadership representation  (note, she's not been privy to these stats yet):

Percentage of women in the U.S. labor force: 46.3%
Percentage of female Fortune 500 corporate officers: 15.4%
Percentage of female Fortune 500 CEO's: 2.4%

Sheesh.

(Click here to read the rest: http://www.womenonbusiness.com/new-us-women-in-business-statistics-released-by-catalyst/)

But back to the conversation at hand.  I managed to continue my response with:  "Women can most certainly be President.  There are female presidents in other countries for example.  However, here in the United States we've not had very many women run for President.  And to be President you have to be elected."

I decided not to throw out heavy hitters such as "sexism, patriarchal society, domesticity, women's suffrage, and historical ramifications of misogyny."  I thought that might be a bit much for a second grader.

But I dread the next question I'm going to get once she hears that the 19th Amendment wasn't added to the Constitution until 1920, which is:  "Why weren't women even allowed to vote, mommy?"

My answer will probably be something short and sweet like, "because the men running the show were ignorant- or afraid of-women's capabilities, honey." This barely scratches the surface, of course.

******************

As a career coach, I help individuals pursue a personally challenging and healthy path to professional fulfillment.  And although I absolutely encourage clients to pursue whatever career they design,  I wouldn't quite call running for President of United States the healthiest of all pursuits, especially for women.  Though male presidential candidates are under an unprecedented amount of personal scrutiny, women face sexism above and beyond the frenzied media probing.  For this reason alone, I am hardly surprised women are not coming out in droves wanting to run for Congress, much less for the Presidency.  I personally would rather have a root canal on each of my teeth than put up with the ummm... let's call them "shenanigans"... that go along with political campaigns.

Yet we all know the irony:  if more women who, generally speaking, have an innate ability to bring people together and decrease friction, don't enter the political arena, we'll stay put in our divisive American politics with a paucity of female presence.  Furthermore, once we gain gender diversity, problem solving will evolve to a much more sophisticated level than it remains today.

But in the meantime, I'm doing my little part with my daughter.  I show her how I share my talents by helping people thrive in their careers and lives.  I help her appreciate her joys in life and what makes for good brain candy.  I'm careful not to put down any career as "unworthy" or, at the other end, completely unattainable; she's only seven, for Pete's sake!  Even pro basketball is fair game in my opinion (and I can honestly say this only because she's is in the 5th percentile in height and has shown NO interest.)

As for the mother/daughter discussion of no female presidents, I borrowed a clever little book, Grace for President, from the local library.  It's a small step, but at least it's a step, in my own home.  And I'm not embarrassed to say that I cried a little bit when we read the book together.

Here's to the next generation of women:  may you have the choice to do whatever it is you are meant to do.

http://www.amazon.com/Grace-President-Kelly-DiPucchio/dp/B001Q3M5RQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318971658&sr=8-1