Is Every Day Halloween for You?

Once again, October 31st will bring much merriment to our household.

For starters, I plan on imbibing a shameful amount of candy corn and regretting it immediately.  There will be neighborhood Halloween parties, spider web cupcakes, warm apple cider, spooky jack-o-lanterns (on other peoples' doorsteps, not ours- we don't have the carving skills or the time.) New costumes will make their debut with unprecedented flourishes.  This year my son, donning a precious little monkey costume, shall amble shamelessly around the neighborhood foraging for candy.  And his older sister shall portray the monkey's pet dog, of course.  For didn't you know, every monkey needs a dog?

(That's okay, I didn't either until a couple of weeks ago when we picked out costumes.)  

And thus, in the spirit of Halloween, I thought I'd broach the subject of pretending, not just on Halloween, but all year long.  And who better to begin with than a recovering pretender such as myself?

Fortunately and unfortunately, the art of pretending comes to me quite naturally.  I played the role of a corporate account manager for quite some time before admitting to myself the job wasn't really me.  I believe it was actually an image of what I thought I should be, versus who I really was.  But I played it rather convincingly, as one would portray a character in a play. Behind the scenes, however, nothing about my performance felt satisfying or real.

Later on, as I forayed into theatre, pretending became my profession.  Throughout my theatre career I played a wide array of roles, including (but not limited to):  a nun, a baby clown, a sister, a mother, a French person, an Irish person, a British person, a Southern person, a feral child raised by wild animals, a Greek chorus, a smoker, a queen, a farmer's daughter, a peasant, a crotchety old woman, a self-righteous dowager, Marie Osmond, a maiden, and a scrappy newsboy.  I also played the part of a temp who tried to convince herself that endless entry level admin work was indeed worth it in order to sustain an acting career.

At one point I played the role of a tap dancer.  However, before landing the role, I'll admit that I couldn't dance my way out of a paper bag.  But I practiced like mad to appear like I could tap dance, and I think I ended up pulling it off fairly convincing.  Now, granted, I landed this show in the very beginning of my theatre career, and it took place at a less-than-reputable dinner theatre.  But that's beside the point.  I knew that pretending I could really tap was only as good as the gig I was in and lasted about as long.  Sustainable?  Hardly.  That's because pretending never lasts, no matter what field you are in.

I see a lot of people in the professional world playing the part of someone else, someone who pretends they enjoy their job/life and that it truly suits them.  These employees can often fake the role quite well, especially for the first couple of years.  After that, the fact that the job doesn't use their talents and interests becomes very real and possibly outwardly apparent.  Drama may ensue in the form of employee conflict, resentment on the part of coworkers, getting fired, legal issues, or perhaps internal strife that eventually causes health issues. 

Whether the person plays the role of a corporate exec, a lawyer or accountant, an engineer or banker,  he or she believes, deep down, that the job pays just enough for the cherade to be worth it.  Perhaps pretending to like one's job, at least temporarily, may truly be the only way to survive and pay the bills.  For example, paying off student loans, medical bills, high costs of living or supporting dependents, all provide ample driving force for a while.  But then what?  Once that impetus passes, where does that leave the pretender?  With some serious questions to answer about his or her future.

Which brings me to ask, what roles are you pretending to fill?  Are they genuinely you or are you playing a part rather than living authentically?  If your current role suits only immediate financial needs then it must be thought of as just that:  temporary.  What roles would better suit you as you look to the future?  Most importantly, can your financial "needs" change?  Perhaps you don't "need" as much as you thought you did, now that you know the price of pretending.

Or maybe you are indeed playing yourself, and your roles truly become you.  If so, I salute your authenticity.  Let's leave pretending for the last day of October!

Now I shall go and enjoy my Halloween... and pretend I do not like candy corn.

When I Saw Paul McCartney Standing There

Seriously, I did see him!  Just a few weeks ago, in The Hamptons.  I did a double-take too, thinking, is that really him??!  And by the amused grin he gave me, you bet your Beatle it was.  He apparently still gets a kick out of all of the double-taking, deer-in-the-headlights blokes like myself.  (Now, for those skeptics out there, I found out that he does indeed have a house in the Hamptons, so the sighting was authentic.)  I can see why the ladies have fawned over him for decades, because he really does have an alluring quality about him, even at age 68. 

But did I get his autograph?  Heck no! 

And could I just kick myself for that?  Heck yeah! 

I suppose I felt too intimidated by his musical greatness to dare approach him.  And it was lunchtime and the Indian restaurant next door beckoned to me with its savory wafts of curry and lentils.  And I'll have to live with this decision for the rest of my life, as this is the story I'll be forced to tell my grandchildren someday, that Grammy never got Paul McCartney's autograph because she was too chicken.  And hungry for dosas.  That's just sad.

But I digress.  I actually do have a point in boasting about my McCartney sighting.  I'd like to share with you an article that features Yours Truly.  As you know, I'm a firm believer in partnering with someone else in order to accomplish one's personal career goals.  If you'll remember, I dedicated much of my No Day But Today post genuflecting composer/lyricist Jon Larson's creative collaboration.

So you know I was beside my career-geek-self when I learned that Joshua Wolf Shenk, a writer who seems to be as fascinated with psychology and creativity as I am, has started a series on Slate.com about creative partnering.  And who is featured in Part One? None other than Sir Paul McCartney himself!

And, of course, his sidekick, John Lennon.

You see, I'm pumping up Paul as the star because I actually made eye contact with him.  So don't you Lennon fans get your feathers ruffled.  If I see John I'll give him equal billing... from the nuthouse, where I'll be residing because I saw John Lennon.

Anyway, click on the link below and enjoy!

http://www.slate.com/id/2267342/entry/2267343

Home and Life Makeovers

Designers Guild, my favorite purveyor of wallpapers and fabrics

They say...

You reap what you sow.

You get what you give.

And I say, pay the experts.  You'll save yourself some expensive DIY mistakes.

Take home decorating, for instance.  I used to think that only rich people hired interior designers, so, like most people of the non-rich ilk, I merely played the game of trial and error with home decor.  Buy a couch on sale here, hit a yard sale there... schlep fabric swatches, a dizzying amount of paint chips and tile samples to a big box home store and lug home a few gallons of pretty decent paint.   Two days and wads of used drop cloths later, things were... better.  Not great, but not too too bad.  At least the walls looked more interesting with some color added. 

On occasion, for a visually stimulating treat, I'd frolick fawn-like through home design stores.  And then I'd drool over shelter magazines for ideas.  But then it was back to Ye Olde Faithful Giant DIY Warehouse of Blah for more DIY blah projects.  Saved money on each project, but in the end had a houseful of not-so-cohesive and not-so-exciting rooms.  And most importantly, I kept wanting more solutions, so I'd keep scouring stores and estate sales for more "bargains."

Eventually, during one of my frolicking sessions in a local home design store called Decorium*, I saw a sign.  For a few hundred bucks one could get an in-home design.

Say what?

Hmmm...  The wheels got to turning.  But should I spend the money on just a design, I wondered?  Money that could go to a new armoire or sofa at a FANTASTIC PRICE?

Or, I pondered some more, would that initial investment actually save me money in the long run and prevent me from constantly needing to correct mistakes with new stuff?

I decided that the latter made more sense and... voila!  My home makeover was about to begin!

Having an expert interior designer take my design boards (I had a record number the designer told me with a chuckle) and create a cohesive, visually stunning plan just blew me away.  I felt as if this weight had been lifted off my shoulders, because although I am a very artistic, visual person, I don't have the skills required to put together an entire home design that flows from room to room.  And I certainly don't have the time to piece together resources that a designer has at his or her fingertips.

Now of course, we couldn't afford to do everything he suggested, especially all at once, but I finally had a plan!  A vision!  A direction!

A plan, a vision, and a direction.  Hmmm... sounds kind of like career design doesn't it?

See, an even more profound relief happened when I later decided to bite the bullet and spend a few hundred dollars on a career assessment.  And then another small investment to do a career coaching program which helped me implement my newly-discovered talents and aptitudes.  Talk about another weight being lifted off of my proverbially laden shoulders!

Now, I'll admit, before investing in the aforementioned career program I had the same kind of concerns I had with the home design expert. Should I spend the money on guidance instead of investing money in a new business?  Or another degree?  And the answer came much more easily the second time around.  Just as the design expertise had proved exponentially beneficial, I knew deep down that getting a direction for what to do with my life would pay me back tenfold, and not just in terms of a future salary.  (Which typically pays for itself within one or two months of employment, by the way.) The payoff also meant a tremendous boost in confidence, a much-needed break from worrying about what I was going to do with my life, and an emotionally uplifting vision to create a professional life I could enjoy.

So how is my house now, you might ask?  It looks beautiful, has energy and vitality, and has proven a welcome retreat for me, my family, and friends.  We eventually did do most of the recommendations of the initial design plan, save for a few very creative tweaks implemented to help us stay within budget.  And being the visually sensitive person I am, my home aesthetic improvements have made a big difference in how I feel at home.  A visually pleasing environment really can make a difference in how you feel.

But the improvements to my career life?  Well, I think you know that I've found a fabulous home in career design.


*I highly recommend designer David Chenault at Decorium Gift and Home, located at 116 King Street in Old Town Alexandria or go to http://www.decoriumhome.com

Morning Has Broken

Today's the Day...

... to do something you love to do.

See where it takes you.

Who knows where it will lead you?

"No Day But Today"

Whenever I find myself procrastinating and know I just need a good kick in the pants I turn on some motivational music.  My favorite song is simple and infectious: "No Day But Today" from Rent, a rock musical based on the opera, La Boheme.
 
Since I saw the full throttle musical nearly 10 years ago, I have probably listened to Rent's original cast recording a thousand times over.  This is due, in part, to the fact that I have procrastinated putting more songs on my iTunes list, but also in part because the songs really inspire me.  The "No Day" lyrics have actually become a sort of mantra to me, words I almost subconsciously recant to myself on a daily basis.  The song uplifts me (from sitting on my duff), especially when I'm feeling (justified or not) as if nobody cares about what I have to offer.  Jonathan Larson's beautifully crafted music and lyrics give me the energy and motivation to create something good, something noteworthy, something genuinely me, regardless of the success of that creation.  So I find myself doing, not just thinking about doing.

The other day, while listening yet again to my Rent fix, I decided that I wanted to treat readers to "No Day's" powerful and haunting words.  However, before sharing his lyrics, I thought I'd research the late lyricist/composer Jonathan Larson so that I could provide a bit of background to go along with the words.  And, wouldn't you know it, in doing so I reconfirmed why I love the show and its creator, from both an artistic point of view and from that of a career coach.  Here are just some of my reasons:

"You're Not Alone" (What You Own, Act II)

When my courageous clients design their own line of work they are initially propelled by their amazing vision and talents.   Whether they create a position for themselves in a company or start their own unique enterprise, they become the boss of that vision and have exclusive ownership.  However, most of them find, understandably, that they cannot do everything themselves.  Implementing their vision requires finding other specialists to help round out their expertise.  (For example, the architect who wants to open his own niche-driven design firm but needs to enlist the advice or help of business experts.)  Ideally, the collaborators keep the boss on the right track and help navigate when the boss finds himself in unknown territory.  In the simplest of terms, the team provides the creator with a much needed kick in the pants to keep moving past obstacles.

Likewise, Rent was a fully-embraced collaborative effort.  For over seven years, Mr. Larson worked with and was supported by a creative team of individuals who brought various assets to the table.  (And this doesn't even include the designers- set, costumes, lighting, etc., who later came together to bring Rent to life.)  I'm referring just to the development stage:  masterminds who set about getting the show's structure, tone, and flow just right during numerous readings and workshops.  (Jonathan referred to the structural edits as "programming changes.") The collaborators included producers, directors, and a dramaturg who, with their different personalities, abilities and points of view, brought a broad creative spectrum to Rent's development.  Ironically, the multi-perspective effort enabled Jonathan to pare down the show to its absolute essentials. 

Of course, Rent was Larson's own voice and composition, but with assistance from insightful colleagues, the young songwriter funneled every word and note into a powerfully fueled work of art.  Due to the collaborative effort, the show injects just the right amount of humor but never gets too cheery or preachy, too cold or dark, despite the subject matter of AIDS, poverty and homelessness.  Jonathan and director Michael Grief labored over this balance in tone, each bringing his own point of view.  Says Anthony Rapp, the actor who originated the lead role of Mark, "What Jon gave Michael was some of his hope and heart and generosity of spirit. And what I think Michael gave Jon was some edge and realism and complexity, and making sure things didn't all resolve nicely and prettily. It was a good marriage."

By bringing in a variety of sensibilities, Mr. Larson's individual expression of song and story exploded into a universally appealing show.  Not only did Larson win top awards (including the revered Pulitzer Prize,) Rent became the 8th longest running show on Broadway and has been produced prolifically around the globe.  In other words, the musical speaks (or rather, sings) to millions.

"Emotion, Devotion... Causing a Commotion" (La Vie Boheme, Act I)

Using the team approach, any project, business, or work of art becomes rich and full of nuances.  But it's not without some discomfort.  Although the creator needs to feel an emotional connection to their work, even the most talented must be able to accept their own limited viewpoint.  It is impossible to not have differences in opinion when it comes to implementing your vision.  The discomfort, of course,  lies in the ambiguous nature of collaboration.  For example, what happens when the creator's opinion differs heavily from the partners' opinions?  When does the team effort become critical, and when does does the ball need to go back into the court of the individual? 

Larson struggled heavily with this conundrum at one point.  He found himself at a personal breaking point after seven years of endless editing and rewriting spurred on by his colleagues, and he was desperate for reassurance.  So he called on his mentor, composer Stephen Sondheim, and pleaded with him for helpful, objective advice.  Sondheim promptly reminded him that because theater is collaborative, part of Jon's job was "to take into account what his collaborators felt."(http://www.siteforrent.com/abouttheshow/the-history-of-rent.html)  So Jon listened to his colleagues and moved onward with the project.

"Take me for what I am" (Take Me or Leave Me, Act II)

Rent, like all of Larson's work, is genuine, personal and honest.  He wrote from experience and created music and lyrics because he needed to.  In fact, tic tic BOOM, an earlier work that was produced only posthumously, tells the story of Jon's personal struggles:  living with rejection, both professionally and personally; living with no heat in a cramped NYC apartment; grappling with the idea of leaving show business for more lucrative, stable work; juggling his survival job of waiting tables with his creative efforts.  In essence, Mr. Larson's need to write music overrode his desire to live traditionally, without hardship.

The more our creations, including our career paths, reflect us, the more we will succeed in garnering interest in our work.  Make it your own, as the saying goes, and others will be drawn to your bare naked authenticity.  In a world full of redundancy and imitation, share yourself with the world.  Take the risk of putting yourself out there.  While the initial reception may not be immediately to your liking, wait it out and trust your instincts.  Others will eventually seek your fresh perspective.

And if you think that waiting until the time is just right to put yourself out there, think about this: Jonathan Larson, 35 years young, unexpectedly passed away from a aortic aneurysm the night of the final dress rehearsal.  In his own powerful words, there is "no day but today." 

 “No Day But Today” from Rent (1996)

By lyricist and composer, 

Jonathan Larson, 1960-1996

The heart may freeze or it can burn

The pain will ease if I can learn

There is no future

There is no past

Thank God this moment's not the last

There's only us

There's only this

Forget regret-- or life is yours to miss.

No other road

No other way

No day but today

There's only yes

Only tonight

We must let go

To know what is alright

No other course

No other way

No day but today

I can't control

My destiny

I trust my soul

My only hope

is just to be

There's only now

There's only here

Give in to love

Or live in fear

No other path

No other way

No day but today

Many Roads Lead to Success

I have a friend, a fellow Virginian, who refers to himself as "Highway Man."  He has a large sales district in Virginia and Washington D.C. that he services, thus the road reference.  However, as the Highway Man will gladly admit, he doesn't always take the highway.  He prefers to liven things up by taking shortcuts, bypasses, dirt roads, side streets, however he feels like getting to his destination on a given day.  Of course, with Washington D.C. traffic, you'd better have some alternate routes in your back pocket, so Highway Man does alright going where he needs to.

Highway Man is no Radical Dude, right?  Using different tactics to get to a destination is not that wild and crazy of an idea.  And after all, taking the road less traveled isn't always a bad thing.  It may take longer but scenic views and fresh air are plentiful compared to the exhaust-filled, clogged up main thoroughfares.

So why is it that whenever the idea of changing careers comes into a person's head the first thing he or she thinks about is taking the Super Highway of How It's Done?  Like assuming you must go back to school?  Or enroll in an extensive training program?  Or come up with exorbitant amounts of upfront capital? When it comes to the mindset of millions of Americans, it appears as if hefty monetary and time investments have the ONLY proven track record when it comes to successfully switching gears and taking a new path to fulfillment, success, and happiness.   These are the superhighways of career change and you'll pay a hefty toll. (Okay, I know.  Enough with the road analogies...)

Thinking of only the most drastic, expensive, life-altering tactics can be a huge pitfall when it comes to career changing.   First of all, this philosophy keeps many people (if not most) stuck;  they avoid taking a necessary step in a new direction.  Secondly, it impedes the creative brainstorming necessary to really jump into a unique market.  Thirdly, this mindset plays into fear, and fear keeps a brain in its preferred status quo comfort zone.  Lastly, it misses the point of finding an elegant, cost effective, simple way of creating new opportunities for oneself.  No pain no gain theory debunked!!  Pointless worrying for nothing.

Of course (and this I have to say) some career changes are going to entail monetary investments and going back for another degree.  And for those who don't want to admit that's the case to get to their dream and are putting off taking any monetary risks... well, that's a whole other blog post.

No Cost Solutions

The following are 10 simple, cost-effective, alternate routes in career changing:

1) Read books on your own to educate yourself about a new field. (I call this the Abraham Lincoln method- homeschool yourself!)

2) Barter your current expertise with that of an expert in your newly chosen field.  If she/he wants to learn more about what you know, teach one another. 

3) Network with friends and family and offer your up-and-coming service for free to these people.

4) Meet new people, especially those in your new field of interest, to broaden your social circles and garner potential clients.

4) Find a mentor who has experience in the new career path you would like to embark upon.

5) Join free networking groups, associations, social groups (or, even if there is a membership fee of, let's say, $50-300/year, it's still cheaper than going back to grad school for $50-100K+!)

6) Go on informational interviews with people who haven't gone the most traditional routes.  Even if they're in a different field than you're interested in, they can give you some interesting ideas about how to take a non-traditional route.

7) Relocate.  (Maybe not simple, but it could be a perfect solution.)  Who knows, maybe you'd actually like being in a different locale where your new field has more demand or the overhead is much cheaper.

8) Create a niche that uses the expertise you already possess.  (Blending fields works well in this case.) 

9) Shadow someone, intern or work part-time in your desired new field to make sure this is really what you want.  If not, perhaps you are half way there, and just need to tweak a few elements of a new career path to make it fit perfectly.  Most notably, you are doing the experiential learning before going back to school for theoretical learning.  This helps ensure that when and if you do go back to school, you're investing money in something you're truly committed to.

10) Collaborate.  Partner with a professional who complements your field of expertise.  Form a team that combines two different specialties and therefore provides two equally good but diversified services.

So you see, there's no need to panic unnecessarily, right?  There could be a way to get where you want to go without doing anything too drastic. 

Stop Swearing and Switch Gears!

Here's an example.  Let’s say you think you might want to become a published writer and teacher like the guy that wrote a bazillion books you see filling up a whole shelf at Barnes and Noble.  This is because you suspect you’d enjoy being a teacher who writes and is rich and well respected.  Heck, why not?

So, the first, and very typical, line of thinking goes like this:

“I want to teach, and maybe even write but I don’t want to teach elementary school or even high school.  I would only want to teach at the collegiate level, if anything.  But then I would have to go back to school yet again and for how long?” 


[Do research online and find it takes, ummm, many years.]  

Holy @&*%^$ !  I’m totally screwed!  My goal to teach will never happen!  How can I ever go back to school and still work and pay my rent and eat something other than Spam.... not to mention I don’t want to write a dissertation on some obscure topic like the esoteric nature of medieval cheeses and their ingestive correlation to obtaining knighthood or ... whatever!”

Using this line of thinking, you would be looking at only one, very standard, way of teaching- in a classroom.  Major roadblock there.  But what other ways are there to teach?  And WHAT do you want to teach?  And to whom?  In what other settings besides the classroom could you teach?  Those are pretty important parts of the equation that you just might want to tackle before a full blown panic ensues.

You could begin by teaching in your arena of expertise.  Perhaps it's something non-academic but if it comes naturally to you and people need your knowledge or skill, who cares?  Then, gradually, build your knowledge in another expertise.  Take a class here and there that really benefits you.  Acquire some new "tools."  Research on your own.  Talk to people.  Take the time to go deeper into your new subject area while you still have some income flowing from your existing pool of knowledge.  Then, if you really want to go The Road Less Traveled (and blow MapQuest out of the water!) you could creatively mesh the two fields, offering something fresh and new to the public.  And there may be no need for traditional credentials because you have become the expert in your newly created field.

This may sound pie-in-the-sky-what-is-in-Katie's-coffee-as-she-writes-this-nonsense;  however, look out there and see what I'm talking about.  Look for the pioneers of services and products and programs and see that they created their own expertise by filling a need, then developed a following, then fostered demand and... voila!!!!  They published a series of books!

Easy?  No.  But nothing worth doing is.  And investing more creative capital upfront than monetary investment involves little to no debt and reaps unlimited rewards.  Just ask Highway Man...

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.

-Henry David Thoreau  (1817-1862)